I read Ann Landers, Dear Abby, and pretty much any other advice columnist that I could get find back in the day. I’m not sure if it was the advice itself or the people telling their troubles that interested me the most. (Probably the troubles – I am naturally nosey). 

I was reading a recent column that covered a husband having an emotional affair with his boss. The emotional affair has the man – married 25 years – spending most of his time with a boss that he admits to feeling an attraction for. He buys her gifts, they spend off-time during the weekend together, they go out for drinks after work, alone. I get the impression that believing that this affair is merely emotional is wishful thinking. It sounds like that is his way of safely explaining the time spent with the boss. He has it out in the open so wife can’t “discover” it and freak out. Wow. That sucks. This cheater sounds either very devious, very smart, and like a real ass.

This emotional affair, with a co-worker, it’s  the next big thing in cheating. People work together they build bonds, they have a team-mentality, and one thing leads to another.

How do people avoid affairs?  How do you keep your partner from cheating?  You can’t, can you? Either they want to be with you and they want to honor that commitment or they don’t.

Sometimes I think about cheating and I wonder if there’s more opportunity to cheat these days or if people simply have a weaker will, a looser set of morals than they used to have. Or possibly cheating happens at the same rate that it always has.

What do you think? If anyone has anything to say, I’d be very interested in your opinion.

Image credit: Sxc.hu

Post from: Blisstree

Is It Possible To Avoid Infidelity?

I said, “Well, I do hope that you wait, but they don’t cry forever.” And, if you are a parent, you know that they don’t, although they do develop even more challenging behaviors so that at a certain point (the teenage years, for instance), you look back on memories of a crying infant and think of them as The Good Ol’ Days.

Another young girl I know, also a teen, but this time a little older at 19, she wrote a comment at Facebook about how people are confused and that commitment doesn’t require marriage. I understand her point, she’s been witness to some pretty funky martial relationships, but……

These girls are so young. Why are they so negative in their viewpoints?  Where does that come from?  Am I clueless if I feel that when I make a lifetime commitment to someone it includes marriage?  If she attends my wedding, is she going to be sitting there shaking her head in disgust at my foolishness?  If I have another baby at my age, will Bay consider leaving home because she can’t handle the inevitable crying? Will I be the final nail in the no-kids-ever coffin? 

Was I so set in my opinions, so sure that I had all the answers at that age?  Probably. I think that as we age, as we gain more knowledge, more life experience, we actually realize we don’t have all the answers and I sure as hell am not giving up my hope.

There are no guarantees and there are many opportunities for hurt, mayhem, and tragedy, but if I’m really committing then I’m going into that commitment with nothing holding me back. I am all in.

Image credit: Chase Your Bliss Photography

Post from: Blisstree

Perspective and Age

I learn a lot from my friends who are parents. One friend in particular has 2 children — a lovely little girl and a beautiful boy. The son is about 5 or 6 and loves to attend professional sports events — the NY Yankees seem to be his favorite. (Here in the U.S., that would be baseball).

My friend is fortunate enough to get tickets to frequent games (lucky little boy). And what I find fascinating is — they go to each game, rain or shine.

Not only that — they stay until the very end of the game — until each player, coach and referee is off the field. It could be raining, swealtering or snowing…they do not leave.

My friend seems to be like that with everything he does: work, chores, games, homework, philosopy…everything. (which is why I love him.)

To me, it signifies that not only is my friend enjoying himself, he is teaching his children about loyalty, commitment and dependability.

I truly hope his children grow up to be just like my friend; and I hope they will understand the lessons their father was trying to instill in them at such a young age.

I hope when I grow up, I’m also just like my friend; and hopefully, the next time I attend a NY Giants Football (American Football) game, if it starts to snow, I will stay — and I hope my friend is sitting next to me.

Image: Flickr.com/New York Yankees

Post from: Blisstree

Lessons In Commitment.