Discovering Intimacy
You will find the relationship fresh and sweet… and poignant. It, sometimes, is scary esp when you’ve been so used to just taking care of yourself, however, you’ll soon realise that this area of companionship brings a certain feeling of belongingness that you can’t find nowhere else.

Building Intimacy
Listen. She will tell you secrets. She will tell you her problems. She will share her life’s story with you. She will talk about her dreams.

Accept. He will show you a side of him that no one else (or a select few perhaps) knows about him.

Trust. He will open himself to vulnerability like you would.

Ruining Intimacy
Judging. He seeks acceptance and assurance not “I-told-you-so” sermons.

Nonchalance. She seeks attention and care.

Overbearing. The relationship is about mutual growth and a teacher-student or “acting like a mum” can limit the honesty and candidness that true closeness offers.

Flippancy. Every individual have varying takes on the intensity of a situation or emotion. Each should respect the other and avoid dismissing something that, on your standards, you consider simple and irrelevant.

Embracing Intimacy
You will see the other’s weakness. You will celebrate each other’s strengths. Cry if you need to. Rejoice if you must. Intimacy is about giving more of yourself to the other, somewhat filling in what he or she lacks. Intimacy will enrich your character, your relationship and your outlook in life. It’s always a good thing, intimacy. It’s the tipping point in your relationship.

Be glad that you have it. Ask yourself why, if you don’t.

Post from: Blisstree

Beginner’s Guide to Intimacy

It’s a given that growing up would lead to identity development. You will establish a set of principles that will serve as a foundation for all endeavours.

The belief system that you may apply to make things function normally, alone or not, is tailored to your own needs, your own life. You do learn how to relate to society as a whole. However, it will differ when time comes that it’ll be a one-on-one thing.

I’ve mentioned it before that human beings have this need for companionship. However real this need is, or the intensity, depends on the person with the need.

Personally, I’ve grown accustomed to a life as a single. My past relationships have somewhat left scars on my being, hence, affecting this particular area in my life. Though, learning to be independent, free from the reponsibility for another, is something I’ve grown attached to. The scars, like I said, pushed me to do everything in my power to overcome and survive the situation.

These thoughts still linger. I’m now caused to mull over the kind of changes you need to go through just to cope with the idea that you’re no longer just responsible for yourself — you need to learn how to accommodate this other person into your life.

There are fears, however. Questions that came alongside the change. How do I act? react? Will I lose my identity as a separate person? Am I giving too much too soon? Am I being selfish? What is fair? How do I find balance?

I reckon, trust plays a huge role in relationships. Also, knowing that there will be things happening in the relationship that you simply can’t control. You just have to deal with them as they come.

I guess you can’t work out a plan on your own. You have got to communicate with your partner and adjust to each of your needs. No one is asking that you give up your entire self for the relationship, right? If you feel obligated to change — seemingly one-sided — I think you have to take a step back and do re-consider.

Any thoughts on the matter?

Post from: Blisstree

In relationships, how much change can you handle?