E. Jean’s response was quite interesting! While most who hear this story would respond with the usual “There are women out there looking for a nice guy so you just have to wait until you find each other” E. Jean responded with:

“An amiable woman will endure the depredations of five assholes before she accidentally meets a good guy and falls for him…Place yourself where there are high numbers of women.  It will then become a mathematical certainty you’ll meet a woman who has maxed out on cads.”

Wow!  My first reaction was anger because, of course, I am a woman and I take offense to the idea that the only way that I would be interested in a nice guy would be if I was just completely rundown by dating a long list of bad guys.  No way!  Women aren’t like that!  Or…are they?  Well now that I think about it, E. Jean’s advice might be unconventional but it may be more realistic than what we have been telling nice guys for years.

The truth is that most women do end up dating a lot of jerks.  Think about your friends and how many times you have given each other advice about choosing the wrong men.  It’s not uncommon, so it’s must be accepted.  Women are attracted to the guys with the good looks and big personalities who oftentimes have a selfish attitude in a relationship.

I think it all boils down to an issue of confidence.  Guys want girls with confidence, and girls want guys with confidence.  It’s just a natural competitive spirit that we want the one who all the others want…we can’t help it!  If we are dating the hot, outgoing, funny, and super desirable (read: confident!) guy then we feel good about ourselves and we get a little personal boost.  The nice guy also wants the girl with similar characteristics…but who is that top dog going to end up dating?

The nice guy probably just needs to work on his shyness so that he can exude a personality of confidence.  He doesn’t have to be a jerk, he just has to be noticed!  He can’t let himself disappear into the shadows and let the top dogs steal all of the attention.  He also needs to search out those women who are more like him.  The women who like the nice guys are probably the women who are the nice girls.  Instead of shooting for the one getting all of the attention at the bar, shoot for the shy girl in the corner who might have a lot more in common with you.

So yes, it is true that women date a lot of jerks.  But I also still believe that if you are a nice guy, there is a nice girl out there who truly is looking for someone just like you without dating a list of bad guys first.

Image: sxc.hu

Post from: Blisstree

Women Date 5 Bad Guys Before 1 Nice Guy

Sometimes people get jealous. They worry that someone is slipping away, that they are losing their influence. They worry that they might be losing the love or complete attention of another person and when this happens, they turn to coercion. They hit on a person’s frailties, on his or her fears until they chip away a chunk of their confidence. I’m talking their self-confidence as well as the confidence that they may have in their relationship. I find this sort of selfish and destructive behavior disgusting.

When I heard the “deceitful” statement, it was clearly a case of an individual parroting another persons bad intentions. These teenagers are still figuring things out. They need a supportive environment to do that. They don’t need outside sources filling their heads with doubts. How are they supposed to develop healthy relationships if their biggest influences are not healthy to start with? If things do not work out between them, they will still take the lessons that they learned during this relationship with them. They will suspect the next person is deceitful or jealous or whatever term they throw at each other.

Sorry to be a bit on the cryptic side, but we just had a scene here that was ridiculous and totally without merit. I do not appreciate people messing with the kids. Teenagers are not property to control. They are young adults who will soon be on their own, especially when they are 17 and almost 18. They deserve the best guidance we have to give. 

Image credit: Chase Your Bliss Photography

Post from: Blisstree

Be A Good Example For Teens

This time it’s The Walk. I am a certified Massage Therapist and in my training, we covered posture, walk, the importance of alignment, etc. Stand up straight, align shoulders, hips, knees, ankles for a more natural, more fluid gait – that’s what I remind myself when I think about it. Apparently a woman’s gait also gives a clue to what kind of orgasms she has, too. What? Oh geez. Yeah, that’s it, it’s how she walks that does it. 

Body language articles, I always read them. I find it interesting that so much focus is spent on something like the walk, analysing whether a person is indecisive or not by judging if their shoulders are level when they walk. Mine aren’t. I have an 18-year-old son with special needs. I do all my reaching, lifting, transfering by placing him on the left side of my body. My shoulders are lopsided because I use my body in a lopsided fashion. It has nothing to do with my ability to make decisions. I know that I don’t walk evenly because of the same reason, my right hip is wonky and when I’m running regularly, it’s worse.

Wow, I sound pretty graceless when I write it all out like this….

The arms though, they can be an indicator of confidence, comfort level. Sometimes I am very aware of them and they feel odd to me. Okay, that came out weird…. When I am aware of them, they don’t feel as if they are swinging naturally. Have you ever felt that way? 

Too many more articles like this and I’ll find myself afraid to get off the couch and walk across the room in the fear that my left knee will give away my secret desire to rule the world.

Image credit: All Posters.com

Post from: Blisstree

What Does Your Walk Say About You?

Image by Henry8.0 via Flickr

• “I like a woman who takes pride in her appearance.” – Easy translation on this is, “I like women who aren’t fat.” Okay, sure… we all have things we will and won’t tolerate in terms of physical attraction, but the guys who say this either say NOTHING ELSE about what they’re looking for in a woman, which makes me want to say, “I take more pride in my emotional maturity, intellect, and sense of humor than I do my body, but I guess all that’s irrelevant to you,” or they say that they want a woman who is smart, sexy, funny, loves to cook, loves fishing, hiking, camping, and NASCAR, has a great body, loves mountain climbing, has a great job, works out a lot, and so on and so on and so on. Guys, have you EVER IN YOUR LIFE met a woman like that? I mean, even your mom? Come off it already…
• “I’m just looking to have a good time and see what happens.” Uh, what exactly is your definition of a “good time” and how many times a week, with how many different women, are you seeking this “good time”? Does wanting to just have a “good time” mean that you seriously expect that there are women out there who want to have a miserable time with you? What about this “see what happens” business? Does that mean you’re basing your ideas on a potential relationship on how good of a time you have with a girl? Are there Cliff’s Notes on this, please?
• “I have bad luck with the women that I meet, so I decided to try online.” Uh, okay, well answer me this: What the hell is wrong with YOU? I mean, you’ve never had a good relationship? Ever? And I’m supposed to attempt one with you? After you admitted that you suck? Okay then…
• “I’m finding that the VAST majority of the women on this site HAVE NO FREAKING CLUE what they are missing.” No, my dear… I think I’m pretty sure of exactly what I’m missing. And I really can’t see a reason to complain about that, you kind of just proved that to me.
• “New to the area, looking for some hot girls to hang out with and have some fun with. Message me if you are interested.” Are you completely effing serious? Like dude, if you have this in your profile, please tell me how successful you’ve been. (That’s ALL he has written in his profile… nothing else.)

Post from: Blisstree

Rant: Horrid things men say in their dating site profiles.

How do these women measure their worth?

I had wondered about that over and over. So, I ended up asking myself that very question. How do I measure my own worth?

Top of mind, I immediately thought of my current financial standing. Added up my physical assets. Computed my income. Surveyed my over-all lifestyle. But I then thought that that shouldn’t be it. So, I moved on to my educational background, what sort of people I hang out with, and my family background. But I knew it just wasn’t hitting the nail on its head. Then I asked myself, how much of the world have I seen, books have I read, films and plays have I watched and talents have I nourished. Yet, it still wasn’t enough.

Then I looked back at the things I’ve considered and learned something, my worth is what I am capable of giving and not what I’ve received. It’s using these things that I have and sharing them to my partner. If I know just how much I can offer to the other person then I know that there’s value in my very existence. I am worthy to receive as much as I am able to give. It’s not entirely dependent on material things. It’s how these material things coupled with principles and experiences, will make life and all the relationships in it grow and be healthy.

What about you guys? How do you measure your own worth?

Post from: Blisstree

How do you measure your own worth?

How much of this is true, I wonder?

I can only guess that a lot of individuals find refuge by being on the internet. People tend to be less uptight and accommodating in places where people congregate online, may it be in chat rooms, dating sites, social networking site or even blogs. You have to, otherwise, no one will come visiting your profile, website, blog or chat with you. The source of comfort can be the anonymity or perhaps the chance to re-invent themselves or something else. Like I said, I can only speculate.

Personally, I’ve already met quite a number of online contacts in person and a few have become real friends and yes, I even met the guy I’m with now, online. But these don’t automatically mean that it’s easier to meet people online because I believe it depends on the individual. I spend a lot of time online, you see. My work requires me to be on the internet at least 80% of the time, hence, meeting a lot of people online. But I make sure I still spend time offline, going to clubs, parties, events or simply hanging out with my friends. In all occasions, I know I have ample opportunity to meet people. All i need to do is to practice the same friendliness then like how I am friendly and accommodating online.

Your turn. Do you think it is easier to meet people online or offline? Or it doesn’t really matter? Care to share your own experience of meeting people?

Post from: Blisstree

Meeting People Online is Easier

Men are constantly communicating how they feel about a woman and giving away big secrets about themselves.  Most women don’t pay attention to these signals or recognize them for what they really are.  The signals men send have 4 main levels – According to Christian Carter:

1) Social: Where the man is at in his own life – stability, confidence, direction
2) Emotional: Whether or not he’s “emotionally available”
3) Physical: If he’s attracted to you… and for what reasons
4) Love State: If he’s open to building and growing a relationship in the future

The funny thing is that men send signals in these areas completely on accident.  That’s great news to women… Men can’t help it!  You need to learn to recognize these signals to get anywhere serious with a man.

If I had a dime for every time I was attracted to a man that was NOT emotionally available, I’d likley be a very wealthy woman.

How many times have you found yourself falling for someone that was either just out of a realtionship or just going through a divorce?  Did you ever stop to think that you may be nothing more than the rebound girl?

At one point in time, I’d become SO good at being the rebound girl, I actually thought of turning it into a career.  The knack I had for helping men discover what they wanted out of life and love (even though it was NOT me) was almost scary.

I can’t stress enough to my personal friends and now to the readers here, that before pursuing a relationship, make sure the person is truly ready.  Being divorced (not seperated) for at least a year is a good start.

Post from: Blisstree

Misreading The Important “Signals” That Men Send

Kidding aside, I know flirting is one of the fundamental things you do as a single looking for a mate. Uh, I don’t want to talk about the not-so-single individuals who still practice it seemingly like a sport. Dear me.

Getting on with the topic then.

It’s a common misconception that you need to be loaded with money, oozing with sex appeal, drop dead gorgeous or suave in order to be a successful flirt, success being that you get a name, a number or, better yet, a date. These things just form the tip of an iceberg. It’s really the basics that matter.

So, what are the 3 Flirting Basics?

1. Be Smart

You simply have got to think. Using your common sense will never fail you. Believe me. You have to learn when and how to moderate the expression of your sensuality. Be socially elegant. Be dashing.

2. Be Composed

There’s something magnetic about an un-hurried demeanor. It somehow demonstrates an appealing air of confidence. Learning how to let the other person know that you are worth the wait and/or you’re willing to wait creates an irrepressible reaction from the other person because you’re somewhat giving the impression that being with you is inevitable. Perserverance accompanies this virtue.

3. Be Sharp

It’s quite simple, really. You have to be ready to flirt. Anytime. Anywhere. Know how to connect with a random stranger by saying “hello”, smiling back, or even initiating small talk. Always be presentable.

That’s why they call them the basics. They’re simple. They’re non-discriminatory. They’re equalisers. Anyone can be successful flirts. All you got to do is practice. Eventually, you’ll see that everything will come naturally for you. The results will speak for itself, you’ll see.

Post from: Blisstree

Learn the 3 Flirting Basics

It can be considered a taboo in most cultures — it certainly is in mine! — particularly in women. We blush. We squirm. We simply don’t speak of it outside our closest friends’ confidences. It’s something most women are uncomfortable showing, much less talk about, with men.

But the thing is, the more comfortable you are in being sensual, the more sexy you become in the eyes of others. I’m not talking about blatant, vomit-worthy sexy. Rather, I’m referring to the complete freedom in expressing your femininity and the sensuality of the gender.

I’ve observed that men like women who are comfortably sensual.

So, there’s an idea. Perhaps if you can work on getting in touch with your sensual side until you reach a comfortable level, your attractiveness may, just as well, increase. This trait will become evident as you deal with men. They will notice it. And just maybe, you hooking up with that guy you’ve been eyeing for quite some time will be within your reach.

Sounds exciting, isn’t it? So, what do you say? Care to give it a go? Go on. I know you want to.

Post from: Blisstree

Let’s talk about our sensual side…