I’ve only been able to read the first few pages, but so far I’ve learned that good communication is affected by rapport, calibrating, and communication style. The way you relate to others has to do with your ability to recognize, understand, and get in-tune to another person’s way of communication.  I’m going to read the book this weekend and get back to you ASAP with a review.

I love my new boyfriend, but sometimes we run into communication issues. I think that a large part of this has to do with the limitations of our relationship – he’s in Colorado, I’m in California. We do most of our communicating on the phone. It’s easy to misunderstand someone when you can’t see their expression or body languageand it’s even easier to misunderstand them when you are texting and have absolutely no clues whatsoever to intent.

Throughout my last relationship, I found myself giving in a lot, just going along in an attempt to avoid an argument. It worked in a way – we only had about 3 actual arguments in a year and a half, but when I look back, I am frustrated with myself. I pushed a lot down and giving in didn’t always work out in the long run, because it led to resentment, on my part. (And serious dislike, at this point.)

I want my relationship with Mark to be the forever kind and that means I can’t just push things down, I have to sometimes argue my point. Sometimes more than once, because that’s the way things play out with him on occasion.

I have picked up a few things along the way and I’m going to pass them along in the hopes that they might help you.

*You don’t have to win. In fact if yelling is involved, you can pretty much guarantee that there will be no winner at all. (Hurt feelings=you both lose).
*Someone has to stay calm. You can’t both get wound up, even in the most stressful of situations (for example, when someone misses their flight).
*Don’t discuss important things through text. Seriously, I cannot stress this enough.

Image credit: Barnes and Noble.com

Post from: Blisstree

Communication and Connection

So, horoscope. The logical place to start any sort of get-it-together endeavor, right?  Okay, maybe not, but they are fun and it’s late. Fun is all I’m up for. Here you go Leos and if you are one of those other less lucky, less royal-signs, you can find it here. (Just playing the role of Leo, I love all people born at any time, I promise).

French President Sarkozy’s best friend, advertising mogul Jacques Seguela, has an unusual way of measuring success. If you don’t own a Rolex watch by the time you’re 50, he says, you’re a failure. I’m inclined to propose the opposite: If you do have a Rolex watch, no matter what age you are, you’re probably a failure. To be attached to such a conspicuous status symbol is a sign that your values are dominated by the transitory trivialities of materialism. Where do you stand on the matter, Leo? It’s a good time to think about it, because you’re in a phase when clarifying your definitions of high achievement is important.

I have no Rolex-envy of any sort. Not a fan of the sort of status symbols you can buy. Sitting on the patio, in the Summer sun, surrounded by loved ones, that is my idea of success. I quest for love, never stuff. I measure wealth in kisses and hugs. Connection is my way of insuring future wealth. Cheesy, sure, but true.

I suppose that means I’m doing what I should be doing by figuring out where and what I want to be with my new man. Good to know I’m on track there.

Did you read yours? What did it say?

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Post from: Blisstree

Connection Is My Currency

“Not me,” I scoffed. “I’m so not one of those people.” But tonight on my way home from school, I seriously called about 8 people because I just felt like I needed to talk to somebody. I wasn’t upset, I didn’t have great (or terrible) news to share, I just needed to have that instant interaction. And it freaked me out.

Have you had one of those experiences? Will your cell phone be attached to your hand until you have it surgically removed? Are you a closet MySpace addict? And is it healthy? I want to know what you think.

Spill it.

Contents © Copyright 2007 Kristen King

Post from: Blisstree

Overconnectedness: You Know You Have It

Contents © Copyright 2007 Kristen King

Post from: Blisstree

Feeling a Need to Connect With Other Women?