The supposed benefits of finding your “ScientificMatch” include finding a match with whom you will have a great sex life, higher rates of fertility, and you’ll dig his “natural body odor.”  Interesting, but as I’ve mentioned before, I am a bit of a sniffer. 

Here’s an excerpt from the website……

ScientificMatch uses your DNA to maximize the chances of finding chemistry—actual, physical chemistry—with your matches. We look at your personal values to help you find a soul mate. And our in-depth background checks provide one of the safest—and most honest—places for your search.

We faithfully guard your DNA. Your genetic information is never made public—not even you can see it. Our CLIA/ASH-accredited lab never knows whose DNA it’s analyzing, and it follows all HIPAA privacy guidelines. We only analyze a very few of your immune system genes—not your whole genetic makeup. And your DNA sample is destroyed after we’re done with it. Your genetic privacy is much more vulnerable when you get a haircut, or drink from a glass in a restaurant!

It occurs to me though, if this is your scientific match, aren’t that chances pretty good that you will sniff him out on your own? What do you think about DNA samples as foreplay?

Post from: Blisstree

Would you be interested in finding your ScientificMatch.com?

AOL Personals had an interesting bit featured today on body language. I’m fascinated by the subconscious cues we give others. We can do so much to present a calculated image, impression, but in the end, we are only truly ourselves and the cues we give with body language can give us away.

Some of the cues Michael Tolosa describes make sense to me, but the rest make it sound like a single woman has only one thing on her mind as she licks her lips, peeks around her menu, or crosses (twines) her legs.  Not every woman is on the prowl. Sometimes we are just interested in a cup of coffee, a glass of wine.

Here is a peek into the article. Click here to read the rest.

*The exposed wrist. The exposed wrist is a sign of submission. The example given here is a woman leaning on her knuckles with her wrist turned palm toward her partner. A sign of vulnerability shows the partner that an approach is welcome. The wrist in the other position, turned away from the partner shows a closed off, do not approach attitude.

*When a woman plays with her hair, it’s a sign that she wants to be touched….or that the wind is blowing.  Okay, this is one that I have a problem with because I’ve got long hair and I am always pushing it back or re-twisting it up. Then, again, I do enjoy being touched by the right person, so maybe it does mean what they say. The same is said about toying with accessories, like jewelry.

What do you think about the cues people give with body language?  Do you have any moves you watch for when you are on a date?

Image credit: All Posters.com

Post from: Blisstree

Body Language – Fact or Fiction

Researchers from four U.S. and Canadian universities studied women with larger, more masculine, chins and compared them with smaller-chinned women. They then asked men to evaluate the women as potential life partners.

Larger chins on women can indicate a higher level of testosterone, which fuels sexual assertiveness and decreases sexual inhibition. That can be linked to to infidelity risk, the scientists said.

The researchers found that men by and large preferred women with smaller chins as life partners, “demonstrating that perceptions of women as desirable and trustworthy long-term mates can be reliably gleaned by men from viewing only the women’s facial features,” the study’s authors said.

The report was published in the journal Personality And Individual Differences.

What do you think of this?  I’ve known women with chins of all sizes and I think it’s a crock of duck poo.  I have a small chin and although I’ve never been a cheater, I am fairly uninhibited. Enjoying sex and being adventurous does not mean a woman is going to cheat.

Post from: Blisstree

Chin Size and Cheating – Any Connection?

This morning I checked my Plenty of Fish account and I had two emails in there. One from a young man of 24. I am 42. It said something along the lines of, “Great pics. What’s up?”

Well, young man, I am reading my messages while I wait for my new son, Greg, (I inherited a  teenager a few weeks back) to come out here so that I can give him a ride to school.

I thought about various number-related comparisons, like…. I am 18 years older than he is. My son, Max, is 18, so I’m an entire Max’s lifetime older than he is. Greg is almost 18, as well, so can you see how this is sort of creepy to me?

Women do this, I know that they do, and with even younger men.  I have a good friend who sometimes spends time with a younger man and I encourage her to do so, because they enjoy the time that they spend together. When I think of the two of them, it seems very “normal.” Why does it feel so odd or wrong for me to even think about doing the same thing?

I wonder if the reason I don’t want to do that – Cougar it up – is because I’m lazy. If I was with a young man I’d need to be in better shape, I’d worry about lighting or better yet, stay in the dark. What would I talk to him about?  Would he call me, “dude?” Or Mrs. Smith?  Okay, now I’m just being ridiculous.

Part of me wants to respond. I am curious why this boy contacted me. What would be the harm in saying hello?  This reminds me of another friend who is in her 20s, the latter part of her 20s, and she’s attracted to a man who is….I think 23 or 24. She feels odd about the age difference and she’s still in the same decade.

What would you do if a much younger man (or woman, if you’re a man) contacted you?  What is your age cut-off?  A 5 year difference?  A 10 year difference?  I’d really like some feedback if you’ve got the time.

Post from: Blisstree

Could I Be A Cougar?

Image by mag3737 via Flickr

Here’s the part that sickens me most: These look like normal, everyday, nuclear-family-type people on the outside. So you don’t have any clue when meeting this married couple, that they could possibly be eyeing you up for a potential tryst. (They’re sitting there right now doing that with people in the audience – Hubby made a remark about someone in the first row.)

The husband “loves” his wife’s choices, and claims not to be bisexual. He’s okay with her wanting to sleep with the other guy, he’s been in the room when it’s happened. The girlfriend admits to getting jealous sometimes. The husband has lovers, too. He has his own girlfriend. I’m confused.

He semi-jokes about having a “harem tent” in the backyard. Then seriously says he made love to his girlfriend in it one night, and his wife came in and the three of them “cuddled”.

Um… what!?

No, I’m sorry, my man better make love to me and only me. He’d better have sex with no one else. And may God come down and place a force-field shield around him should he bring home an STD.

All through this freak-o interview, Tyra’s making wild assumptions and body movements and all sorts of comments like, “Girl, you a freaky deaky!” You know damn well she doesn’t get this concept, she doesn’t condone it, and she’d claw her man’s eyes out for suggesting it.

What I’m not getting here is how, for lack of a better word, “loose” these people are. I mean, we all know that when we get into a new relationship that the person we’re with has had other sexual relationships. We know that they’ve done the deed with others, we may even have seen photos of their last girlfriend, so we wind up with a horrid visual of that person in bed with them. I’ve gone through this specifically, knowing that my ex was sleeping with his ex at the same time he was sleeping with me (I didn’t knowingly approve – I believed him when he said he wasn’t, and found out later that was a lie) and I was wrought with these visuals. I spent an entire weekend being physically ill (vomiting, headaches, stomach pains) and it nearly killed me. It was ultimately what ended “us” completely.

Some people will say that this is “real human nature“. You know what I say? To hell with nature. We’re advanced creatures. We’re intelligent beings that are supposed to act with intelligence and not upon so-called instinct (which I don’t believe humans have this instinct).

Have you ever known anyone who had an open relationship? Have you ever been in one? Like I said, to each their own, but this is SO not for me, and is SO never going to be a part of my life. Or else. LOL

Post from: Blisstree

Open Relationships: On Tyra

She tells The Insider television show,

“I’m ready for the controversy, I know it will come along. I’m ready to do this….We live in a capitalist society. Why shouldn’t I be allowed to capitalize on my virginity?”

The young woman, going by the faux name, “Natalie Dylan,” has a bachelor’s degree in Women’s Studies and wants to continue her education with a master’s in marriage and family therapy. “Dylan” explains in a video interview at The Insider that’s she’s not looking for just “the highest bidder.”  She wants the winner of the auction to be “genuine” and a “nice person.” Genuine?  Nice? Is she planning to sell herself or is she hoping to find a relationship?

Do genuine, nice people frequent virginity auctions at infamous Nevada brothel’s?  Selling sex is prostitution. Earmarking the money for an education does not make her any less a prostitute. 

What did “Dylan” learn while earning her BA in Women’s Studies?  Prostitution is a sad way to have to earn a living. Why is she going to the trouble of using a pseudonym when she is showing her face on national television? How is she hoping to be taken seriously as a counselor when she outs herself in this way? Is the entire thing just a ploy to get media exposure? 

I consider myself a feminist, so part of me is thinking, well it’s her body, she can do what she wants with it, but the bigger part of me is wishing that I could speak to her so that I could say, ”Please take a step back and think about what you are doing here. Do you want to be known for the rest of your life as the girl who sold her virginity and talked about it on television?” 

I can’t help but think that this woman is not considering the further implications of her actions.  What about the people she wants to date someday? Or marry? Does she really think that this decision is not going to come back to haunt her at some point.  There are worse things in life than having to pay off your student loans. 

Post from: Blisstree

Woman Plans Virginity Auction To Pay For Education

“X Files” star David Duchovny’s announcement that was he was in rehab for sex addiction sparked a lot of rumors. One of them was that he’d been caught having an affair with his tennis instructor (a woman) and that he was undergoing rehab to save his marriage. – FOX

Supposedly, wife Tea Leoni was well aware of hubby’s sex addiction for a long time. Of course, there are reps and such who are swearing up and down that this self-admittance to a sex rehab facility was not because Duchovny took his addiction too far, but rather because it’s more like a “porn addiction” much like gambling or shopping addictions. Mmhmm okay.

Maybe so, but why the hell would anyone put up with this kind of thing, “knowing for a long time”? I think my ex was addicted to internet porn, only because I caught him lying to me about it quite often. I also sat there while he listened to his bank charges on speakerphone, and “oops” one let slip through that he was confused about, so we went and looked it up. He supposedly canceled it, but I’m not sure.

It actually affected our sex life, and yes, he cheated on me with his ex for over a month. Internet porn addictions don’t stop with just one or two visits a week. There was the time I got to the house earlier than he’d expected, and since I had a key, I let myself in, and he came rushing to the door all red-faced and flustered with quite the telltale spot on his shirt. I remember times I’d be in the kitchen cooking dinner and he’d be on the computer watching porn. It really sickened me, to be honest. I’d much rather he’d have popped into the kitchen and gotten a little frisky right there with me than be yankin’ it in the other room as if I wasn’t even there, you know?

I don’t even have a problem with watching movies with your honey. But when your honey’s in the other room and you’d rather be watching something vile and demeaning on the computer… there are big problems. And no, that doesn’t mean it’s the woman’s fault, or that there are problems in the relationship. It means that the dude’s got issues and they need addressing long before “quite some time”.

I’m sorry, but do you really expect me to believe that an alcoholic can be in a bar and not want a drink? Can you really believe that a crack addict would have a rock handed to him and he’d not smoke it? And is it really safe to assume that a gambling addict, if handed $1000 cash outside a casino, would NOT go in and blow it?

Post from: Blisstree

David Duchovny sex addiction did not result in an affair… riiiiiight…

Well, I came to the decision that since I’ve come to a decision… a plan, perhaps… that I was no longer going to just shrug my shoulders and say, “Whenever Mr. Right comes along, I guess!” I’m going to tell them, and it may not be what they thought they’d hear or want to hear, but hell, if anything they’ll be sorry they asked!

Yesterday was the fire department picnic. It’s pretty much a family reunion, even though we’re all always together all the time. So I started getting asked the question, and I decided that I was going to explain my plan that involves working hard for the next 4 years, so that if “the One” doesn’t happen to come along, I can be financially prepared to “go out and buy me some egg fertilizer”!

I got laughs, I got looks of shock, and I even got a “Right on!” and I couldn’t have been more proud of myself.

Now, if I’d said that to my family… my mom’s side, particularly, I’d probably have gotten only looks of shock and big gasps and lots of “Oh no, don’t do thaaaaat,” so I’m really not sure I’m ready to go… there.

But seriously… yesterday’s discussion had one guy calling for his (also unmarried and childless) son, and another making suggestions about certain people I already knew who were single, and still another was just sitting there laughing at every word I said. It was kinda cool, but only in that it wasn’t outright dismay at my “plan” but rather they were being creative in their own ways to try to get me to a point where I didn’t have to go to a sperm bank in 4 years. I love them!

So yeah, my way of handling “the question” has changed over the years. What are some of the creative ways you’ve answered it (or wished you had)?

Post from: Blisstree

Answering everyone’s favorite question: “When are you going to settle down and make some babies?”

Twenty percent of women ages 40 to 44 have no children, double the level of 30 years ago, the report said; and women in that age bracket who do have children have fewer than ever — an average of 1.9 children, compared with the mean average of 3.1 children in 1976. – NYTimes.com

It’s being suggested that career choices and ethnicity are the two main reasons for this drop in motherhood. Personally, my reason is because I haven’t found someone to make babies with yet. Sure, I could go out there and “get a baby” but I don’t want that and I think that women (girls) who do that are just… ew. I’d rather at least go to a clinic somewhere and get a donor. Someone WILLING to anonymously father a child with a stranger. I mean, seriously.

What’s my “ideal”? Getting married to a man who won’t ever cheat on me or abuse me, have a baby or two, and live happily ever after, where even at 70 years of age, I cook his dinner every night and he holds my hand as he walks my arthritic butt to the car. Yep, I want the damn fairy tale. Will I get it? I can only hope. But if I don’t see it happening within the next couple years, yes, I’m going out to get me a baby.

Now, I’m an entrepreneur, but I spent my time in college and all that. I’m also 2nd/3rd generation born American. So I don’t fit into their “types” in this article. My situation is simply that I haven’t found “that guy”. It’s not that I’ve made the personal choice to wait, or to not have children at all. It’s that I can’t find the guy who I think would be a great husband and father, who feels that I’d be a great wife and mother, who wants to be MY husband and my kids’ father.

It’s articles like this that annoy me. I know that in this situation, I’m the “margin for error” but damn, when is someone going to write an article about why women like me are in our situations? When is someone going to do a study that figures out how many marriages that go through a cheating spouse that a) end in divorce or b) get through it? I can’t possibly be the only woman in the world who fears that happening to me, and I can’t be the only woman in the world who has never and would never cheat on a mate. Where are those studies, that say that the reason a lot of these women have chosen their careers over having families is because they too can’t find a quality guy who wants the same things in life that they do, so instead they focus on their careers because that’s the only thing they can care for and nurture without requiring a spouse?

Why do you guys think that more women than ever are not having children? What do you think is going to happen to the US population in 40 or 50 years because of this downward trend? And is it “okay” or is it “selfish” for a woman to make the conscious choice, with or without a spouse, to not have children?

Post from: Blisstree

US Census: More women than ever are childless.

A few weeks ago, watched a segment on Cougars, presented by Kristen Schaal, on the Daily Show. It was clever and I found the over-the-top comments such as – I’m paraphrasing here – take her in the back and make out with her or she’ll never get to sleep tonight, funny. The “Cougar” was a woman in her 50s, lovely and well-coiffed. Schaal had her “assistant” place her on John Stewart’s lap and he was instructed to pet her. Stewart appeared very uncomfortable, part of the skit, of course. The idea was to demonstrate how inappropriate it was to label women. Okay, I get it.

Yes, labels aren’t great, but “Cougar” seems kind of flattering to me. Now something like The Saggy Baggy Elephant, that would be offensive. Cougars are sleek, beautiful, and dangerous. When I picture the animal, I see a cat that moves with grace and flair, on the prowl.

Labels, they are all around us. We label what we like best or least. We label things healthy or unhealthy. We label good or bad. Every company out there is trying to somehow fit within the label, green. Labels are just another way to organize things in our heads, our lives.

As labels go, I wouldn’t mind being considered a Cougar at all. My guy is younger than me, well one year, so perhaps I don’t fit the definition, but in the past I’ve gone out with guys more than 10 years younger.

What do you think about calling women “Cougars?” Are you offended by the term? I’m really interested in how other men and women view this current trend, so if you have an opinion, please leave me a comment.

Post from: Blisstree

Cougars – Okay or Offensive?