Image: Zuma Press

I didn’t really know what to expect when I started this movie, but I have to say that I was extremely impressed.  The movie uses the art of conversation to expose insecurities and confusion that arise in a marriage.  I felt that the film was almost Shakespearean in the way that the archetypal characters delivered heart-wrenching monologues expressing frustration and confused emotions.  The characters and their interactions were truly brilliant.  A mentally ill neighbor pops in at key moments and delivers lines of brutal honesty to the couple about the lack of truthfulness and happiness in their relationship.

Although the movie is depressing in its portrayal of married life, it does expose the real challenges that men and women face when they find themselves trapped in a life of mortages, child-rearing, monotonous work days, and household chores.

If you are in a serious relationship, I strongly recommend watching this movie with your significant other or spouse and having a conversation about it.  Your reactions to the characters may bring ideas to the surface that would be worthwhile to discuss.  The movie brings up issues about the difference between male and female roles in a family and the contrast between emotional detachment and complete expression of extreme emotions.

Just as the characters in Revolutionary Road struggle with communication in their relationship, I encourage movie-watchers to explore the best ways to communicate with their partner in order to understand and help one another when they are going through a difficult or transitional period.  Successful communication is the key to a healthy and balanced relationship.

Revolutionary Road is now available on DVD.

Post from: Blisstree

Revolutionary Road: Relationship on Film

Men will always be different. In terms of which things are considered important, how they perceive things, and how they relate emotionally. Women on the other hand are built to handle relationships. One is more pragmatic than the other, which in a way makes each a perfect complement to the other.

Here’s a look at what my friend and I talked about:

ME: so don’t stock up on words. just do it
HIM: sometimes actions not enough
ME: of course, women love to talk but practicing what you preach supports your words well.
HIM: its not enough. they interpret it as something else
HIM: even if you are doing coz you want to
ME: if there’s anything i learned about relationships, it’s never black & white
HIM: yeah
HIM: true
ME: if you want someone to know something, to understand something, you do everything in your power to communicate
ME: without wanting anything in exchange
HIM: well sometimes its better to leave thing as is
ME: only the knowledge that she/he understands and gets the message
HIM: maybe it isn’t meant to be
ME: what? and take on a defeat-ist attitude?
ME: that’s why it’s called a commitment
ME: using something that guys can relate to
ME: “leave no man behind”
ME: know what i mean?
HIM: guess theres really no happy ending
HIM: and we’re meant to be lonely
ME: it’s thinking that it’ll never end
ME: the thing i’ve noticed lang talaga
ME: for relationships to crumble is the unwillingness for partners to truly communicate
HIM: yeah thats true
ME: laging selfish that’s why instead of listening
ME: we turn a deaf ear and simply focus on what *we* are feeling
HIM: but its hard if you’re the one communicating
HIM: and the other party isnt doing anything
ME: i can so understand how frustrating that is
ME: it’s like talking to a brick wall
HIM: but i listen.. i know how important that is
HIM: its just hard to listen when all you hear is silence
ME: perhaps both need it
ME: both can listen to their own thoughts until they’re about to go insane
HIM: yeah i guess
HIM: the best things are better left unsaid
ME: i can’t agree with that
ME: i’m such a passionate advocate on how important communication is in relationships (any kind)
HIM: it is.
HIM: trust and communication i think is very important
ME: yea, with frequent communication, steady, healthy one at that will nurture mutual trust
HIM: dont you should start with trust
ME: well, i reckon as an individual, you have a certain amount of trust you can work with
ME: it’s never foolish to be wary about certain things cuz there are situations wherein you shouldn’t jump in blind
ME: but as both communicate, the said trust will be nurtured
ME: but if you’re talking about zero trust from the start, i advise you to run the opposite direction
ME: that’s not good. it spells trouble and heart break
HIM: yeah i think so
HIM: but you should trust each other to communicate freely
ME: that’s a component and a good foundation
ME: but both should practice *actively* communicating regardless of the other things
ME: know what i mean?
ME: have you reconciled yourself with what you’re going to say that you’ll be able to deliver the very message you’re trying to convey?
ME: can you speak with conviction? firmness? without concern on how the other person will take it?
ME: if you can you have a foot in the door
ME: now’s the hard part cuz
ME: it means doing it with compassion, empathy, and the true desire to be understood and to have the other person understand

Any additional thoughts?

Post from: Blisstree

Quick Chat on Trust & Communication

The Unmask Method

How does it go exactly?

Well, according to this article I came across, you and your mate should…

One, use an opener that’s untrusive and un-alarming. Something like, “Hi, do you mind if we sit with you at this table until our other friend gets here? She’s running late for some reason.” Of course, it should be in a venue that’s somehow packed and would give you a reason to ask that from these women, okay?

Two, once seated you will act as if you and your mate had no intention of starting a conversation with the two women. Keep an open ear to what they are talking about but continue talking to your mate about other things.

Three, after a moment or two you should…

Move a little closer to the girl nearest to you and lean in. With a smile, look her straight in the eye and say: “Okay, I have a question for you. Imagine you were sitting over there at the bar and you saw two girls, like yourselves, sitting at a table like this one. Then, you saw two guys like us come over like we did, sit down and start talking to those girls. What would you think?”

From my point of view, this simple question has the potential to be effective. It’s a situational question that will provide an avenue for people in that table to engage in a conversation that somehow highlights the opinion of the other person and not your own. A girl will find it flattering since it somehow shows that you appreciate her mind.

That, my friend, is how The Unmask Method works.

Go on. I know you’re dying to try it. Just make sure you’ll come back and let me know how it goes. Heehee.

Source: Go Articles

Post from: Blisstree

Hook Up Tip: The Unmask Method