As I’ve mentioned before, talking to someone on the phone, you miss a lot of those cues. Texting is even worse and no matter how many times I say, “I don’t want to talk about serious things while texting,” we do just that – we talk about serious things while texting. We argue with our fingers. It’s ridiculous. I hate this distance thing and I do not throw the word “hate” around. Usually I reserve it for Hitler and houseflies, although it would cover terrorists, as well.

I was starting to focus on the problems, the stress, the hurt feelings, and forgetting why I fell in love with him in the first place. I was at the point where I thought, okay maybe we’ve taken this one as far as it can go. I hadn’t given up completely, but I was feeling a step away from there.

Today, I was riding my bike, which is where I do my best thinking, and his song came on my earphones – Swing Life Away, by Rise Against. As I listened to the words I remembered how we bonded over simple ideas like a relationship is a team, a partnership, and shared memories of growing up in the same small town. He would say that coming home to someone who loves you, that makes all the challenges in life – work trouble, finances – easier to handle. He was a man who was actively looking for a committment and I hadn’t met a man like that in more years than I can count.

The fighting, we’ve got to find a way to avoid it. I’m not a person who has any interest in winning an argument. I do not like yelling. It paralyzes me in a way, reminds me of too many scary things. The easiest way to explain how I react is this – I lose my words. If we are fighting, there isn’t going to be any winner, I tell him. We will both lose. It has to stop. This doesn’t mean that I need someone to always agree with me, but I do need someone who can let some things go. Not everything is worth a battle.

When Bay was a little younger, we had a really hard time. She’s scream at me, tell me how much she hated me, using language that I can’t repeat here. It sucked. I felt like I was looking at a stranger. One day I found a box of old pictures and I got an idea. I took a picture of her at an especially sweet time and I taped it to the refrigerator door. When she would act ugly, I’d look at that photo and remember that my beautiful baby still lived inside that crazy teenager.

My boyfriend, he’s no crazy teenager, but sometimes he’s just as frustrating (I’m sure he would say the same about me – I’m no angel, but I do try….). I’m going to use his song the same way I did my Bailey-picture. It will be my constant, the place I can come back to, to regroup and remember that we won’t always live so far from each other…..Someday we will be fighting in the same room…..okay, that was a joke.

Image credit: Chase Your Bliss Photography

Post from: Blisstree

Music Will Be My Constant

These days she’s grumpy. Mean. Closed off to everything. Right now we are in the midst of a sleepover with my niece, the lovely Ashlee, and Sarah is pouting in her room.

I’m not sure what the problem is. It’s either…….no, really I have no idea. We went to the creek, we went to the pool, the girls decorated new notebooks, the fun just keeps on coming, but she’s more interested in a good pout.

As soon as I’m done with my work, Ashlee and I are getting out the bubbles. Hopefully that will help her mood. Bubbles are good for curing pretty much anything that ails you.

I would not go through adolescence again for anything. I’m very happy to be in the midst of middle age, believe it or not. I need to remember that my hormonal issues are nothing compared to those that she faces. A changing body. A changing complexion. Mixed up emotions. I need to take a step back and let the kid pout. She’s not hurting anyone and a little alone time will help her to regain control.  She could use some guidance, but I can’t control her emotions. Only s

Image credit: Chase Your Bliss Photography

Post from: Blisstree

Adolescence: Some Days It’s Just No Fun

In the wake of the tragedy of this week, I have been thinking. We know that we need to equip our teens with tools and know how to make in the real world, but often those skills are things like balancing the check book, basic cooking skills or how to do their laundry. All of these things are important, but are we forgetting some key skills as parents and as a society? I think we are.

Here are thirteen things I think are just as important as knowing how to boil water:

1. You can’t always be first
2. You can’t always win
3. Not everything in life will be easy
4. How to deal with bullies, mean people and rude people
5. How to cope with the end of a relationship or break up
6. How to resolve a dispute with a teacher, boss or other superior
7. We all make mistakes and can learn from them
8. How to ask for help
9. Signs that a friend or loved one may be suffering (from an addiction, depression, etal)
10. How to make decisions by weighing pros and cons
11. Not all gratification can be instant – some things are worth the wait
12. Everyone has something to contribute to society – it just might take a little exploration
13. How to be a good friend

What did I miss? Do you know of other essential life skills that you think today’s kids are missing?

For more Thursday Thirteen posts, visit the main Thursday Thirteen hub. Did you do a TT post? Be sure to leave me a comment so I can come visit your site, too.

Post from: Blisstree

13 Things We Need To Teach Our Teens