• In Russia it can be frowned upon to give fragrances because it might be considered insulting (although some women love special perfumes and often request it from families).
• It is most often customary in a two trip adoption to wait until the second trip to give gifts because it may be considered a bribe if a gift is given before hand.
• When giving money in international countries make sure to give larger bills (if giving American money) because this is difficult to exchange.
• Chocolates are not necessarily a good gift because every country has great chocolates.

Gift Ideas for Russian Orphanage Directors, Doctors, Representatives, and Caregivers

For Men:

Wallets (with money), Watch, Scarves, Gloves, Hats, Key Chains, Money Clip, Jewelry for their wives or children, etc.

For Women:

Scarves, Gloves, Body Lotion, Bath Soaps, Hand Creme, Hand Bags, Shopping Bags (nice market bag), Nice Jewelry, Vases, Picture Frames, Fruit and Flowers, Candles, etc.

For the orphanage

Donate some new plants, diapers, NEW (for health reasons) clothing (or if acceptable, gently used), a new tricycle, medical supplies that don’t expire (or donate OTC medications with translations) toothbrushes, combs, crib sheets, blankets, hats, mittens, coats, swaddles, bottles, nipples, crib toys, teethers, Neosporin, alcohol wipes, band aids, underwear, socks, etc.
For International Foster Mothers

Most Foster Mothers have families and children of their own and probably appreciate money more than anything else so why not a great new handbag, a pretty piece of jewelry and some cash for the family?

Many foster mothers might also like a gift from your home town. For example, ideas include: t-shirts, sweatshirts, or baseball caps (for a child) of a sports team, postcards, trivets, books, or toys for their children.

Post from: Blisstree

Gift Ideas for Adoption Caregivers

From the US Department of State

The China Center for Adoption Affairs (CCAA) has issued the following new regulations for foreigners who wish to adopt children in China. These regulations become effective for all application received after May 1, 2007.

Adoption is limited to married couples, made up of a man and a woman, who fit the following criteria:

1. They must have been married at least two years. If either person has previously divorced, the couple must have been married at least five years. No more than two divorces are allowed.
2. Both partners must be between the ages of 30 and 50. Those couples who apply to adopt a special needs child must be between the ages of 30 and 55.
3. Both partners must be physically and mentally fit, with none of the following conditions:a. AIDS;
   b. Mental disability;
   c. Infectious disease that is actively contagious;
   d. Blind in either eye;
   e. Hearing loss in both ears or loss of language function (those adopting children with hearing or language function loss are exempted from this requirement);
   f. Non-function or dysfunction of limbs or trunk caused by impairment, incomplete limbs, paralysis or deformation;
   g. Severe facial deformation;
   h. Severe diseases that require long-term treatment and that may affect life expectancy, including malignant tumors, lupus, nephrosis, epilepsy, etc;
   i. Major organ transplant within ten years;
   j. Schizophrenia;
   k. Severe mental disorders requiring medication for more than two years, including depression, mania, or anxiety neurosis;
   l. Body Mass Index (BMI) of 40 or more
4. At least one member of the couple must have stable employment. The total value of family assets must be at least $80,000. The family’s annual income equals at least $10,000 for each family member in the household (including the child to be adopted). Annual income excludes welfare, pensions, unemployment insurance, government subsidies and the like.
5. Both prospective parents must be high school graduates or have vocational training equivalent to a high school education.
6. The family must have fewer than five children under the age of 18, and the youngest is at least one year old (those adopting special needs children are exempted from this requirement).
7. Neither partner may have a significant criminal record, and both must have a history of honorable behavior and good moral character with no evidence of:
   a. Domestic violence, sexual abuse, abandonment or abuse of children;
   b. Use of narcotics or any potentially addictive medication prescribed for mental illness;
   c. Alcohol abuse, unless the individual can show she/he has been sober for at least ten years.Note: Applications from persons with past criminal records will be considered on a case-by-case basis if the individual has fewer than three minor criminal convictions (none in the last ten years) and fewer than five minor traffic violations.
8. The prospective parents must demonstrate the ability to provide a warm family environment capable of meeting the needs of an orphaned child and providing for her/his development, and an understanding of the special risks (including potential diseases, developmental delays, and post-placement maladjustment) that could come with inter-country adoption.
9. The couple must provide an adoption application letter that makes clear the applicants’ willingness to allow post-placement follow-ups and provide post-placement reports as required.Note: In each instance above where a specific age or time span is cited, it will be computed from the time that the CCAA officially logs the adoption application documents.

Post from: Blisstree

Country Requirements: China

It is all over the news (okay, so I am a little late to report this) that Tyra Banks wants to adopt but is she just cashing in on the new fad or is she truly interesting in adopting?

The Sun reports that She said: “I’ve wanted to adopt since I was nine.

“I have a connection with children and they don’t have to come from my womb for me to have that connection.”

Will it be international or domestic?

Post from: Blisstree

Tyra Adopting?

1. Do treat your child like any other kid-  It may be difficult for adopted children to feel like they belong in their new familes but treating them like they are special, or different, because they are adopted can make it even worse. Don’t spoil them because you feel they missed out on things in their previous home/homes but offer them structure, stability, and comfort. Isn’t that how children thrive?

On the flipside, I learned from Dr. Federici that children need to be parented how they need to be parented, not how the norms says so.

2. Support them when strangers ask questions -  Sometimes strangers, or even friends and family can ask insensitive questions (like did the birth mother drink or where are the birth siblings?) and you and your child need to know how to answer those tough questions. Either tell the questioner that it is simply not an appropriate question by saying just that or gently steer them on to another topic. In these cases I have found that people just don’t know what is appropriate or not.

3. Do respect your child’s privacy- Adopted children may have difficult backgrounds and their life stories may not be something they want aired. I have always been careful not to share the intimate details of my son’s birth parents and family, as well as his intimate orphanage life. I have given some details of what we think may have happened but none of it we know for sure. Many children do not want their histories discussed and their privacy should be respected.

4.  Treat prospective parents the same as expectant parents- This was very hard for me, as an adoptive parent to handle. My husband and I were expecting a child for 9 months, the same as everyone else…but very few people took notice, even our own families. For many parents the rituals and traditions, such as baby showers, coming home outfits, baptisms, etc. are just as important but very much overlooked. My own mother did not plan a shower until I actually indicated that I wanted one.

5. Do acknowledge and celebrate the differences- celebrate the differences in culture or ethnicity, or even birth-country.

Don’ts 

1. Don’t introduce your child as adopted- your child is yours…you adopted them once and they are part of your family.

2. Don’t say how lucky your child is- I wrote about this earlier today. I did not save my child. I welcomed him into my family.

3 Don’t assume adoption is second choice- For us, adoption was second choice. We wanted a biological family. We tried to have one and could not. Does that mean my son is second choice? Never. However, some people believe adoption is the best choice for them for many reasons. Perhaps they were adopted or they feel a calling. Don’t assume they parent is infertile.

3. Don’t jump to conclusions about the birth mother- Birth mothers come from a variety of situations. Some are middle class women educated enough to know they can’t care for their children and moral enough to not want an abortion. Some are in trouble with drugs and alcohol. Some are in trouble financially. Some are young unwed mothers. But, don’t assume they are all irresponsible and worthless women. They are not.

They love their children and they grieve their children.

4. Don’t tell me I can have my own now. My child is my own. Some people will tell you that they knew so and so who adopted and then got pregnant. Well, it doesn’t happen that way (only about 3-10 percent of adoptive couples have biological children after adopting). Do I sometimes yearn to carry a child of my own? Yes. But it won’t happen and that is okay.

Post from: Blisstree

Adoption Do’s and Don’ts

Post from: Blisstree

Guatadopt.com in News

I am picturing you in your brand new fire engine pajamas that I ran out to get you tonight. You have grown so much in the last two months that none of your winter PJ’s fit and its cold in your room…too cold for summer pajamas, especially since you are sick. I went to the store just before dinner and got you new ones; fire engine, bulldogs, and a bear. You chose the fire engine to wear tonight. I should have guessed.

But, as I was stroking your head to lull you asleep I gazed at the scar on your forehead from the first Thanksgiving you spent with us. You slipped on a magazine in front of Grandpa Pickel’s TV and hit your head so hard it didn’t even bleed. It sure left a scar though. You threw up that night too; all over me.

And I looked at the scar from three weeks ago (in the same spot) from where you ran into Uncle Clark’s table…and the bump from today when someone at school pushed you down. You hit him first so that was totally fair.

And then I looked at the scar on the other eye, the side of your head that you have never fallen on in the two years you have been with us and I wonder how you got it.

And I will never know.

It was your first scar.

And I missed it.

And now I’m crying because I can’t be there to take that back, or to hold you, or to hear you call my name like you always do when you are hurt. That scar hurts me probably more than it ever hurt you.

Post from: Blisstree

That Scar on Your Eye