Dressing up as a pair is always fun.  If you are lucky enough to have a significant other or friend to pair with who also enjoys dressing up, there are lots of ideas out there for couples.  You can buy one of the packaged deals at your local costume store that come with a complete costume for each of you like Cinderella and Prince Charming, nun and priest, or Devil couple…OR you could try one of my 2009 pop culture Halloween costume ideas for couples that are hopefully a little bit more unique.

Image: Bauer Griffin

Here are my costume ideas and a few key pieces for starting the costume:

• Kanye West and Taylor Swift – colorful shutter shades, microphone, sneakers, glittery ball gown, long blonde hair

• Barack Obama and Michelle Obama – Barack mask, J.Crew dress with cardigan, kitten heels, bobbed hair

• Blaire and Chuck from Gossip Girl – headband, preppy uniform, colorful tights, slick combed hair, suit, bow tie

• Angelina Jolie, Brad Pitt and tons of babies – tattoos, long brown hair, long gown, a really hot blonde guy
  

• Jon Gosselin and Kate Gosselin and tons of kids- Ed Hardy tshirt, jeans, blonde hair with signature sweeping bangs

• Billy Ray Cyrus and Miley Cyrus - long hair, sideburns, wife beater, cowboy boots, Hannah Montana gear

• Bella and Edward – flannel shirt, jeans, sneakers, raincoat, fangs

• Heidi and Spencer – Playboy clothes, fake boobs, scruffy blonde facial hair, “designer” outfit

• Miss California and Perez Hilton – sash, gown, pink hair

• Tom Brady and Gisele – Patriots uniform, pregnant belly

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2009 Halloween Costume Ideas for Couples

Leave your baggage at the door. Guys are happy to help out their girlfriends with emotional issues. But if the baggage becomes apparent too early in the relationship, then a guy will probably bail. Also, baggage causes people to put pressure on or damage a relationship, so it may be doomed from the outset.
 

Why is assumed that women are the only ones with baggage?  Nobody gets to adulthood without a bag or two.  I have issues, I admit it. It’s the people who say they don’t have issues that I worry about.

I knew someone who would question my motives and the things that I said, frequently seeing some other meaning in my words.  I’m not a perfect communicator, but I’m not a  double-talker either. When I say something, I mean what I say. I’m not using it as secret code for something altogether different. You know what I think was happening here?  I think that sometimes this person had that baggage up around his ears and it kept him from hearing me correctly.
 
Here’s a peek into my personal baggage – I worry all men will cheat on me. This baggage comes courtesy of a few cheaters. (Thanks, guys.)  In reality, I know that men are not all cheaters. I know that many of them have self control, but baggage is not about being smart or realistic. It’s about carting around something heavy that slows you down and possibly holds you back.
 
The trick is to recognize your personal baggage and refuse to pick it up. Start fresh. You might think that the baggage contains important lessons learned, but really it’s stuffed full of  prejudice.

Leave that bag of prejudice behind. Walk free, feel lighter. When you met someone new,  don’t  judge that new person based on the experiences you had with the last joker who wasted your time.

Image credit: Sxc.hu

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Leave the Nasty Baggage Behind

*According to a study at the University of New Brunswick, Canada, men feel that the ideal amount of time to spend on foreplay is 18 minutes. Women mistakenly assumed that men wanted less, when they assumed the ideal amount was 15 minutes. I guess they aren’t in the hurry that we assumed they were ladies. Good to know.

*Paul, 27, enjoys getting sexy messages from his lady throughout the day. A little playful teasing gives you both something to look forward to. “Occasionally she’ll page me and send the message ‘I want to [bleep] tonight.’ I love getting playful, devilish little notes like this. It lets me know that she’s going to be ready and raring to go when I get home.” 

*Doing something unexpected can be very sexy, especially when it involves a touch of risk.  Tom, 31 got a sexy surprise from his lady one night, “…my wife and I were out to dinner and we were sitting at a table, but she wouldn’t take off her coat. I asked her why and she said she couldn’t — and just stared at me. Turns out, all she was wearing was a trench coat and high heels. I couldn’t even eat; all I could think was, ‘This is the sexiest thing I’ve ever seen.’”

Image credit: Barnes and Noble.com

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REDBOOK’s 500 Sex Tips

If you are thinking about getting a dog as a couple, there are many questions that you should consider first.  This is similar to adopting a child, so you need to take the situation extremely seriously.  If you walk by a pet store and see a cute puppy that you really really want to take home, don’t do it!  You are an adult and must make mature and practical decisions.  This is a 12-15 year commitment!  The picture that you have in your head of you, your boyfriend, and that cute Labradoodle puppy in a photo on your fridge is not quite accurate.  A new dog takes a lot of care, attention, knowledge, and patience and can be a huge strain on a relationship.

• Who owns the dog?  Does it belong to one of you or both of you? If you’re not married then you have to be realistic about the fact that you might break up.  You don’t want to fight over the dog or share custody, so I suggest having the dog belong to one person in the relationship.  That one person will be the main caretaker of the dog and this will solve issues of responsibility and payment when issues arise.

• What will you do when you go out of town? Young people travel and stay out late a lot more often than families.  If you adopt a dog you can no longer make last minute decisions to leave town or spend the night out.  You always need to think about your dog sitting at home waiting for you.

• Do you have experience training a dog? If you get a puppy you will need to take classes or do research to understand how to train your dog to be well-behaved.  It is extremely difficult to resolve behavioral issues later in the dog’s life, so address issues properly when they are young.

• Where will the dog sleep? You and your boyfriend might have different ideas about this.  If the dog is sleeping in your bed that will definitely affect your sex life and your nighttime routine.

• Why do you want a dog? Are you using a dog to try to heal problems in your relationship or make your boyfriend feel more attached to you?  Think about this seriously!  You don’t want to take on the responsibility of an innocent animal’s life because you are trying to solve relationship problems.  A dog can only create new problems in a relationship and will not solve any.

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My Boyfriend and I Want To Get a Dog

Has he called her? No, but he texts her constantly. Texting is not her favorite method of getting to know someone and she’s grown bored with him.

Why don’t people call anymore? Texting is a lazy way to communicate. It’s impersonal and it’s easy to lose track of a conversation if you are texting with more than one person at a time.

If you’ve got a guy who insists on texting, but you are longing to hear his voice again, try these tips from Cosmopolitan magazine:

*Tell him to call you. Be polite, but firm. Explain that texting is okay in a pinch, but you’d like him to follow up with a real phone call.

*Let him know you appreciate the call. My boyfriend uses his phone for listening to his sports. Every since baseball season started, I don’t hear from him as much. I make a point to tell him that I enjoyed talking to him when he does call. (He has a great voice).

*Keep the call simple. Keep it short. Don’t critique him. In fact, it’s probably a good thing to have a subject in mind before the call. That will help you to avoid those awkward silences that can panic even the most experienced dater.

Image credit: Michelle Smith

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Skip the Text, Get Your Man To Call

I do love to watch wedding shows, like Whose Wedding Is It Anyway. I like to watch the couple pick the flowers and I like to see the hall with the decorations, but when it gets down to it, I’m just too boring and practical to ever have a big wedding myself. My idea of the perfect wedding would be an outdoor picnic or BBQ with friends and family.

In the Beverly Hills area, some folks are doing it even cheaper than I would. They are signing up to be one of 9 couples to get married on 09/09/09 at the 99 Cent Only Store.

The store will cover the costs of the minister and will even reimburse the couple up to $70 for the marriage license. The wedding, of course, will be held with items from the 99-Cent Only Store, including 99.99-cent place settings and a 99.99-cent wedding dress made of white T-shirts, table runners and loofahs.

Click here to see a wedding dressmade up entirely of items found at the 99 Cent Only store. It’s a version of a Chanel Couture gown.  The weddings will be held at the store located at 6121 Wilshire Boulevard in Beverly Hills, California.

Image credit: Sxc.hu

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A 99 Cent Wedding

Many of the same dating ideas that work for Summer can be tweaked to adapt to the changes that take place in the Fall. Here are 3 free or super-duper inexpensive date ideas for singles to try.

*Take a walk in the trees. The most dramatic aspect of Fall or Autumn would have to the changing colors of the leaves. Gold. Crimson. A blast of orange. Gorgeous and the perfect backdrop to a romantic walk.

*Enjoy a fire-side picnic. Everybody loves the cozy feel of a fire. When I have company, we take our visit out to the patio where we sit around my little fire pit. Many parks have permanent BBQ sites or take a little portable grill.  Add a couple of  chairs, some wood, and you’ve got the makings for an intimate fire-side chat.

*Visit a pumpkin patch. This is a good choice for a date with someone you are still getting to know. Any time you’ve got the opportunity for movement, walking through the pumpkin patch, finding your way through a corn maze, conversation is going to flow freely. Nothing is worse than sitting across from a new person and having no idea what to say next.

Plus, the purchase of a pumpkin sets you up for a second date – carving  your pumpkin together. Which could then lead to an invitation to a Halloween party. You never know…..

Image credit: Sxc.hu

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3 Date Ideas for Fall

1.  Trips where you have a guide book with highlighted pages and detailed descriptions about every landmark that you want to see.  You plan each day to fit in as much as possible to squeeze every valuable moment out of the time spent travelling.

2.  Trips where you just relax.  You bring a book and a journal and you plan nothing.  You enjoy the beauty of your surroundings and the calm that you can’t find when you’re working everyday.

Sometimes the best medicine for a troubled relationships is a big dose of Trip Option #2.  Go somewhere quiet and beautiful where you can find peace within yourself and peace together.  You don’t need to talk about “issues” the whole time, but you can remove the stresses that are caused by everyday life and give yourself space to breathe.

I recommend this specific type of trip because sometimes an action-packed vacation to a crowded and touristy destination could actually cause more stress and tension in a relationship.  Travelling is difficult and busy!  When every day is filled with activities then you don’t always feel like you are able to relax or even fully enjoy each other’s companies.  Obviously trips like this are amazing, but not always the best option for a relationship that is in need of some R&R.

Take a truly relaxing vacation together to a place that is quiet and beautiful.  Bring activities that you can do together but also activities that you can enjoy independently.  Enjoy silence and laughter.  Take deep breathes and find the calm that comes when you don’t have to do anything at all.

Image: sxc.hu

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Take A Relaxing Relationtrip

There were definitely the couples who got married right out of college…but those were outliers.  They had been dating since freshman year and it was very expected that they would get married young.  It didn’t cause any big commotion amongst our friends because the wedding was such a great college reunion.  Now is the time when it has really started to become a pattern.

As soon as I realized that this stage of my life had officially begun, I was interested in seeing how those in long term relationships would start to respond.  Couple who have just started dating know that they are a long ways from engagement so they don’t have such a strong reaction.  They see what is going on around them, but know that their situation is different.

Couples who have been dating for a very long time, on the other hand, feel the most pressure.  They wonder what it is that those engaged couples have that they don’t…How did they know that they were ready to take that next step?  Are we waiting for something that isn’t going to happen?  Did we miss the moment where we were supposed to propose?  Are we going to know when we’re ready?  Do people look at us and wonder why we’re not engaged?

I think these worries can cause unneeded and excessive stress on a relationship.  Every couple needs to remember that they are the only ones that really truly understand themselves as a couple and the decisions of others around them are irrelevent.  There is no perfect timeline for dating and then getting engaged and there are no social expectations that anyone needs to feel pressure to conform to.  Some people date for three days and get engaged and some people date for ten years and never get engaged.

Regardless of what your peers are doing, you know what is right for your relationship and you will know when the time is right to take that next step forward.  Be introspective, talk to your significant other, and make the right decisions for you.

Image: sxc.hu

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Why Is Everyone Else Getting Engaged?

In the book, she mentions the importance of afterplay.  “Afterplay” is that time after orgasm, sometimes known as “after-glow.”  If handled correctly, afterplay actually works as a part of foreplay for the next encounter.

It’s particularly important for both men and women to realize that the curve of sexual arousal after orgasm is a much slower one for women than for men. That’s why it’s so important for women to teach their partners that they need to be caressed, held and talked to after they have orgasm. This kind of afterplay is so important that it will actually be the foreplay for the next sexual encounter. When men say it’s physiological that they have to go to sleep right after sexual intercourse, that’s nonsense. That’s just being sexually illiterate. They have to be taught that important aspect of the sexual encounter.

For some reason, the whole idea of cuddling afterward has turned into some kind of joke, which is unfortunate since it turns out that is actually essential to an ongoing successful sexual relationship.

Image credit: Amazon.com

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Afterplay – As Important As Foreplay