Although the title of the measure is “unmarried couples” the agenda clearly is aimed at keeping gay men and women “from becoming foster or adoptive parents”.

My husband with AJ at the orphanage in Russia.

On November 25 a Florida court pointed out that allowing gay couples to adopt is less about protecting gay couples than protecting children. These laws, it seemed, were originally written to discriminate against gays and have thus ended up harming the thousands of children in foster care.

Miami-Dade Circuit Judge Cindy Lederman found the 1977 Florida law unconstitutional because it violated the rights of these foster children to receive equal treatment under the Florida law.

The big problem with states like Florida, Missisippi, Arkansas, and Utah is that laws like these do not allow children in foster care to be placed with unmarried gay couples (or unmarried people in general…the law created to keep foster children out of the homes of gay individuals). Even if loving, stable couples wanted to foster or adopt they are just not able to.

However, in other states there are 65,000 children who are being raised by same-sex parents, according to a March 2007 report (Urban Institute and the Williams Institute at University of California at Los Angeles School of Law).  The report also mentions that about 14,100 foster children are living with one or more gay or lesbian foster parent.

Currently, 11 states and Washington D.C. specifically state that sexual orientation cannot legally prevent gay and lesbians from adopting but three states (Arkansas, Mississippi, and  Utah) have gotten around this by dying unmarried couples the right to foster or adopt.

And, even though states (like Michigan) don’t have bans it still can be difficult, as there are few judges and adoption agencies that will officially “allow” same-sex adoptions.

How does this affect children? For those being denied good care it can be devastating. Personally, I would much rather any child be in a loving home, no matter the race or sexual orientation than be left to hop foster homes or be institutionalized like my son was.

Post from: Blisstree

Gay Adoption: Fighting the Battle

Though not on the date we anticipated, as of 10:20 am. July 25, 2005 AJP is now officially our son.

The judge was very happy with the documents we provided (thanks to
K, our social worker, and our doctors back at home) and he
happily waived the 10 day appeal period. So…we pick up Sasha (AJ)
this afternoon and fly to Moscow tomorrow at 5!

This will be the last email until we arrive home to “hibernate” and
after this trip…WE NEED IT!

For those of you who have missed out on the drama…I will sum up.
Our initial flight was cancelled, but Delta switched us to
Northwest, our luggage arrived in Ark on Saturday, 5 days late, and
finally, the judge denied our adoption on Friday and requested more
papers from our doctors back at home. Oh…and our driver got a
ticket about 5 miles from the airport. (sound familiar?)

We are hoping for a LESS eventful downside to our trip, but with a
two year old who does not speak English, we are not counting on it.

The picture attached was taken just before we left to go have his
passport picture taken. It was pouring outside and he wanted to go
jump in the puddles outside. I thought it was gorgeous, perhaps
symbolic of him leaving. When God closes one door, he always opens
another…in this case, perhaps a window. (It became his announcement picture).

Enjoy the start of your week and keep the prayers coming please.

With love,
Marcie, Eric, and Sasha (AJ)

Post from: Blisstree

Happy Adoption Day AJ!

We have court tomorrow at 9:30. All of our papers seem in order and T and H are hopeful that things will go well.

We got passport pictures yesterday and are our plane tickets so it seems like we are on schedule to fly out Tuesday evening.

Thank you to everyone for your support and prayers. It has meant the WORLD to us to know that you all care and are looking out for us. Going into this process was hard enough, but knowing that we have friends, most whom we have never met, is worth its weight in gold…or should I say rubles?

Finally going to court!

Post from: Blisstree

Court, Again

Things are looking slightly better now that we have underwear…or should I say smelling???

For those of you who have not caught the Curse Part 1, 2, and 3…we just got our luggage today, were denied our adoption yesterday, and have pretty much had a miserable trip…except that we have had a wonderful time visiting with our beautiful son.

The update on the court proceedings: We were able to get a hold of our doctors back at home and within twenty minutes they faxed a handwritten document detailing that they were able to provide medical judgments regarding our health in all areas including cardiology, psychological, etc. Here in Russia no one sees a general practitioner and our judge could not understand that. We also obtained a letter from our social worker outlining the process in the US. Additionally, we had my doctors medical license re- translated to read that she is licensed to prescribe medicine, not that she is an alcohol and drug doctor, as it originally read.

So, we go back to court on Monday at 10 am. for the judges final decree. With all of these documents in order, we believe that he does not have an opportunity to deny this. We believe that he was/is looking to make an example out of us given the current circumstances in the US.

Today we took AJ to get his passport picture and he had his first car ride. He learned to play in puddles and drink from a sippy cup. He loves the sippy and loves just having it in his mouth. We hope to get custody on Monday after court, but it may be Tuesday before we fly to Moscow.

We will be in a mad rush on Monday getting his birth certificate, his adoption decree, and his passport so that we can leave on Tuesday afternoon for Moscow. All in all, we need to get to Moscow to get to the embassy so we don’t miss our flight out on Friday. (We will make sure to pack all we need in our carry on, don’t worry!)

Post from: Blisstree

The Curse

Well, it looks like we are officially the first family to EVER be
DENIED in the region of Arkhangelsk, if only temporarily. We did
not get our adoption granted today as we had hoped.

The judge was very specific about our medical records and wanted verification on our physicians licenses’ as well as their ability to evaluate medical conditions such as psychological conditions and drug or alcohol additions as general practitioners. Additionally, he
was very concerned that my doctor had a medical license for “controlled substances”, which by our understanding is that she can prescribe medication.

So, we have to obtain letters from our doctors back in the US by 10 am Monday in order to be approved.

Other than that…things are ok. We still have no luggage but our underwear dried quickly.

AJ loves spending time with us and just lights up when we go to pick him up. We had a blast today on the swing and the teeter-totter. He loves to walk, walk, walk.

The director of the orphanage said that after we visited him the first time his personality completely changed. He went from a sullen child who never smiled to one who smiled, played, and had fun…like he had something to live for. It was nice to hear that such a short time spent with us could have an effect on him. She also said that after we left his confidence skyrocketed and he started to walk and climb like crazy.

We go tomorrow to get his passport picture. I would love to send some pictures but I don’t have the adapter because it is in the luggage. I will send some if we get it in time.

Sorry this is such as downer of a week and not much fun to read, but I know you all want to know what is happening. Please keep us in your prayers…it looks like we need it (and some kleenex, but that is in the luggage too!)

Love,
Marcie and Eric

Post from: Blisstree

Adoption Denied…is This Real?

The summer of 2005 was very trying in regards to Russian adoptions, as Peggy Hilt had just murdered her youngest daughter (and I mean just).  We packed our bags knowing that we NEEDED extra prayers to get through customs as potential adoptive parents and knowing we would be scrutinized every step of the way.

To put it bluntly, our second adoption trip was absolute hell and I would never, in any lifetime, wish it upon anyone. If it could go wrong it did and I was just too plain worn out and tired to break down and cry (until, of course, AJ started beating on my head in airport security).

The only good thing to come out of that trip was that we finally and better later than never, brought our son home with us.

Post from: Blisstree

Leaving…

Over the next two weeks I’m goin’ back in time…

to 2005.

Because, get this?

It’s been THREE years (and we’re done with our post placements).

And WE are all still kickin’.

Some, more than others.

I pulled emails from our trip to Russia.

It’s the real thing, baby!

ALL the drama…court, lost luggage (and stinky undies), and some uberfab pictures (like AJ eating his first McDonalds in Moscow?).

So, look for the posts with dates in bold and italized entries.

Post from: Blisstree

So, You Want More About Me?

Our judge has requested additional paperwork: a home study update on two specific lines on our faults. He wants them clarified and explained in detail to make sure he knows that we are psychologically sound. I do think that this is a step in the right direction with all that is going on in Russia…extra screening by the judges.

But…kind of stinks that it has to start with us.

Post from: Blisstree

Judge’s Request

“Good news is that court is on the 22nd!!!!! Bad news is that we have the tough Judge!”
All smiles today!
Marcie

Post from: Blisstree

The Tough Judge

Eric and I will probably have to cancel on the picnic this year…but for a VERY happy reason!

We got word from B today that T will be presenting our papers to court on Friday or Tuesday and that we expect a mid-July court date (B said probably the 19th!). They are trying to get everyone through before the summer slowdown in the region so it does look like it WILL happen! I will keep everyone posted.

As far as the red, white, and blue colors, we plan on taking our announcement picture of AJ in front of the Kremlin…I have a perfect outfit for him!”

Marcie

Post from: Blisstree

A Russian Court Date