This is a post from our sister site, Crushable.
Breathing is the worst, amirightladies? That’s why we have “body shapers,” to ensure that going out on the town means 70% the O2. I’m not saying oxygen makes you fat, but I’m not not saying it. Water isn’t the only natural element that causes bloat. After all, there’s an O in H2O. You do the math. Or the chemistry.
Which brings me to Spanx, the body-shaping enterprise that is helping women stunt circulation all over their otherwise imperfect bodies. Even the name implies corporeal punishment. Spank your body into the shape you want while spanking your respiratory system into submission. Sign me up, amirightladies?
You see, while these elastic corsets primarily function as deep-breathing inhibitors, they also help women hide and tuck their elastic skin. All the sociological and emotional damage of plastic surgery, without having to go under the knife! Is anyone getting on that signing-me-up thing yet? More »