This is author Kathleen Chamberlin’s first book. She returned to her original love, creative writing after retiring from work as a healthcare executive. As a special treat for Blisstree readers, Marcy Mary, has written a story all about dachshunds. Enjoy!

Dachshunds: The Long and the Short of It
By Marcy Mary, Dachshund-American Princess (as told to Kathleen Chamberlin)

So you are thinking of inviting a dachshund into your life. Well, if you want the scoop on this superior breed of canine you have come to the right place. Let me introduce myself. I am Marcy Mary and I am a Dachshund-American princess, wise and wonderful canine, and published author. I know everything there is to know about doxies.

Dachshunds are wonderful, sleek dogs known for our intelligence, bravery, loyalty, and good looks. We come in many colors and styles, but the most attractive is short, reddish-brown, auburn fur like mine. Doxies are primarily two sizes—mini or standard, although there are a lot of variations.

We have low slung, sleek bodies that are something like a sports car. Dachshunds do not like wet weather because our undercarriages get wet. Likewise, we are sometimes reluctant to toilet outside in inclement weather. (Humans don’t have to!) We are terrific swimmers, but given a choice we prefer being dry. And warm. And a snack would be nice too. Because of our very long backs we must be handled with care. Our adorable personalities make humans want to hold us. You must be sure to keep our backs level when lifting us.

All doxies have powerful, short legs designed for digging and running. Although our legs are abbreviated, they are really long and willowy. This is what is known as a “doxymoron.” We are very fast dogs and can be ferocious when an enemy comes around. Not considering our personal safety, we fling ourselves into the heart of danger to protect our loved ones or a particularly scrumptious tidbit in our dinner bowl. Generally, we are good natured and extraordinarily clever and bright.

Dachshunds have a phenomenal sense of smell that enables us to smell a hamburger two hundred feet away through closed doors, plastered walls, and double paned windows. Our tails are gorgeous, flexible, medium length, and very expressive. When happy or interested the tail is curled up. When joyful, it is wagging, and when anxious it is tucked underneath. Look out if a doxie tail is wagging slowly and the ruff is up! That means she is in protection mode and will do all that is necessary to protect her humans and/or her dinner bowl. These are the major tail-mood indicators.

Most dachshunds have eyes that are a rich dark-chocolate brown. Using our eyes and our very expressive faces we can communicate many emotions. My personal favorites are the “Joan Crawford look” (noble suffering), the “feed the dog stare,” and the “happy dog smile.” This has gotten me some of my best treats, many walks, and lots of affection.

Smooth haired doxies have ears that are soft and silky. (The Creator really outdid himself when he created dachshunds). Our ears are just right for stroking. This is very therapeutic for an agitated human. Not only do we have a keen sense of hearing, but we can shake our heads vigorously causing our ears to flap. This makes a most delightful sound and is guaranteed to wake any human no matter how soundly they sleep.

Dachshunds are very happy living with humans as long as they understand that a relationship with us is a commitment. We are dedicated to our human companions and expect that devotion to be reciprocated. A peripheral relationship is not acceptable. Dachshunds want to live within the very heart of a family. In return we will run your household and your life. (I can always think of something my humans could be doing for me.) We will also love you, stay by you when you are cranky, sick or lonely, and we will never, never, never bite the hand that feeds us.

More about the author
Kathleen Chamberlin is the author of Marcy Mary: The Memoirs of a Dachshund-American Princess, The Early Years, the whimsical adventures of a regal-turned-stray dachshund puppy adopted by a suburban family. You can learn more about Kathleen and her book at marcymary.com.

(Image via Marcy Mary)

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Memoirs of a Dachshund American Princess

This has got to be one of the cutest things ever. This little dachshund named Jerry plays with an automatic ball thrower that (I assume) is owner made for him. I can’t get over the squat little legs running down the hall in anticipation of a flying ball. So cute!

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Fetch!

Emily writes:

Duchess, 6.5 years old, joined our family in April 2007. The Central California rescue group said her former owner believes she is part Dachshund and part Husky. Unless it involved a step-ladder, I’m pretty sure her mother was the Dachshund, but the logistics on that are troublesome as well. In any case, I can’t imagine it was an intentional pairing of the breeds: She’s short and sheds terribly, but has the dignity of a much larger dog.

She’s hilariously quirky: If she thinks she’s going somewhere or getting a treat, she’ll walk ahead of us but keep turning to look at us until she’s walking in a U-shape. If we dare go on a ride without her, she chews us out when we get home, first going out the garage to “prove” we were in the car, then chasing us around the house, barking reprovingly. She hates it when I do the laundry and will hide at my husband’s feet until I’m done folding everything. My husband insists that he can’t put away the clothes while I’m at work, or Duchess will never forgive him. (A likely story, I say.)

Peas make her sick, we’ve learned, but my daughter keeps dropping peas on the floor and the dog keeps eating them up. We’ve discovered odd things that she doesn’t like, such as dancing, which we assume irritates her puritan sensibilities, and, the latest, pat-a-cake. Yes, my dog is afraid of a nursery rhyme, and will bark furiously if anyone in the house does pat-a-cake. Which, of course, makes it all the more fun to do.

She’s beautiful, Emily!

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Pet of the Week: Duchess