My former attitude was more towards “that’s why I bought a six-speed turbo.” Although I was never a reckless driver, I now am much more careful with the little one ever present in the back of my mind or the back of the car. Our last ‘family automobile’ purchase was made squarely on safety for the little guy and I now slow down quite a bit whenever I’m behind the wheel. Neither of those things make me a grandpa driver, but it gets worse.

I now find myself considering alternate routes for risk mitigation and drive at different times with less traffic. Heck, I even use the term ‘risk mitigation’ which alone tacks on 15 years to my driving age.

I no longer see yellow lights as an opportunity to relive the chase scene from Ronin. Did I say 15 years? make that 25.

I even try and reduce the number of left-hand turns across busy streets. Did I say 25 years? Make that 40.

I now leave the house earlier when I have to be someplace at a particular time. That alone qualifies me for membership in AARP. I caught myself looking at lumbar pillows at the mall the other day, so pretty soon I may just end up taking a shuttle everywhere and transporting my son in the basket of my walker.

I don’t really care if I take on a more elderly pattern, the boy is worth it. The conversation this morning just made me realize that since my son was born I’ve changed lots of habits, and driving is one of them. How have you become more cautious since your kids were born?

Post from: Blisstree

Fatherhood makes me drive like a grandfather

Twenty three years ago my dad and some friends started the Berkshire Charity Auto Show. The show occurs every year on the Sunday after the 4th of July and is a draw for hundreds of classic and antique cars and thousands of spectators who come to enjoy pristine autos of years past. While everyone enjoys the visual aspect of the show, there is also the incredible benefit of raising money for charity. Over the past two (plus) decades he and his friends have orchestrated this massive undertaking and in the process raised hundreds of thousands of dollars for charities like the United Way, Boys and Girls Clubs and the American Cancer Society.

While I don’t share quite the same passion for antique and classic cars that my father does, I have to say that I am incredibly impressed by the devotion and effort he puts forth year after year to help other people. Charity is often a virtue lost in modern consumer society, but he holds on strong to that idea and continues to put tremendous effort towards helping others. I am proud of his stewardship and the manner in which he gives of himself to others. I constantly think of the values and virtues that I wish to instill in my son and hope that I can personally provide such a good example of charity to my little boy as he grows up.

Dad, you do a great job, you make a difference in people’s lives and I’m proud of you.

Post from: Blisstree

Antique Cars, Charity and My Father

Aside from the “early to bed, early” to rise cliche you’ve always heard, going to bed and rising early will maximize the time you have to spend with your baby or young child. This aligns you more with their sleep patterns so you are both awake during more of the same hours.

I wake up early so I can spend time with my boy before I leave for work, and I love it. I take him for walks in the morning with our dog and it’s great quality time that gets us both lots of fresh air. Not only does it increase my time with him, it de-emphasizes work by fitting in more activity in my day before I ever even arrive at the office. I find that I am no longer waking up and rushing out the door, but enjoying my home and family more before I start my professional day.

2. Utilize your lunch time better

A properly utilized lunch time is a great way to increase your time with your kids. I’ve done this in three primary ways:

a: Finish any errands or tasks during your lunch time that you would otherwise do at night. This will free up your evenings and reduce the number of things which may infringe your time together.

b: Visit your child during your lunch time or have them come to you if the other parent is able to drive them. My wife and son visit me quite often at noon and I love seeing them. I always have a good time, even if we just run errands together, and it really breaks up my day.

c: If your work schedule is flexible enough, try taking a shorter lunch period or working through lunch and get out early. I often try to get into the office early because I get up early (see #1) , take half a lunch and head on home to see my boy.

3. Feed them

Having dinner together as a family is a great bonding time. It is time well spent together and gives you the opportunity to be part of the child’s routine. Meals are a significant part of a child’s day and by being part of one, you are taking a major role in your child’s life. For me, feeding my son is a messy and time consuming endeavor, but he’s happy and interactive during the process so it’s great quality time.

Post from: Blisstree

3 way for working parents to spend more time with young kids

– photo by Bill Fezzie

Some tips on starting solids from the good doctor and the American Academy of Pediatrics:

1. You should wait until your child reaches six months of age to start them on solid foods. This is the recommended age as it reduces instances of food allergies as their digestive systems are better able to handle foods.

2. Cereals are usually the first recommended solids. Rice, oatmeal and barley are the initial line up, and in that order.

3. After introducing cereals and your child gets used to eating, you can begin introducing them to fruit, strained vegetables and meat.

4. Introduce new foods to your baby one at a time. Wait 3 to 4 days between new foods to see if there are any allergic reactions. The 3-4 day waiting period simply lets you determine to which food your child is reacting without dealing with multiple variables.

5. DO NOT give your child eggs, peanut butter, strawberries, tomatoes, citrus, seafood or honey until 1 year old.

6. Get a bib, place mat or tarp. The food will end up everywhere.

As always, consult with your own pediatrician before changing your child’s diet.

Post from: Blisstree

6 Tips on starting solid foods with your baby

Now after my morning shower I go grab my son and plop him in his bouncy seat next to me while I shave and get ready for work. He stares as me intently and we talk back and forth for a few minutes while I get rid of my facial overgrowth. We don’t use any actual words because he’s only 4 months old and I’m more than happy to jabber at him in his own drool-infused dialect. He squiggles and laughs at things that are only funny to him, and when I brush my teeth he stares at me in utter amazement for reasons unknown. He’s at his brightest and cheeriest of the day, so it’s a great time to spend with him. (On top of all this it affords my wife a few extra minutes of sleep and helps preserve her sanity.)

I love every little bit of time I get to spend with him, and prep time in the morning is no exception. His little smiling face is a great way to start the day and remind me what I’m working for in the first place. It never seems like there are enough hours in the day, so making the minutes count have helped me fit in some more quality time with my son. Quality time doesn’t always have to be large, elaborately planned events. Quality time often fits neatly between the impassive demands of modern life, and I’m glad to have found one more spot where I can do just that.

So now, I like shaving.

Post from: Blisstree

Shaving with the baby

One thing I noted is that he finds acceleration particularly soothing. I’ve got a zippy little six speed, and when ever I start up from a dead stop he suddenly quiets. I put a little extra weight on the pedal when we were pulling out of the driveway tonight and he immediately stopped crying, cooed and fell asleep. (This makes me slightly nervous about the thought of him getting behind the wheel of a car sixteen years from now.)

It’s impressive how well it works and I told myself earlier that I was just going to drive around with him all the time whenever he gets antsy… and then I passed a gas station and saw the price of gas. I don’t know why I hadn’t noticed it last week, but things have gotten expensive… so now I’m thinking I’ll just walk with him instead.

Post from: Blisstree

Babies are bad for fuel efficiency

Nappig is a major help, but often difficult if one parent is working and the other parent is at home alone with the child, as is the case with me and my wife. What I’ve been experiencing personally is the inability to wind down when the baby finally does fall asleep at night and capitalize on a few hours of crying-free sleep time. My wife feels like she needs to get other things done so doesn’t always sleep when the baby does during the day.

I’ve been trying to take steps to better prepare myself for the time when the infant finally does conk off, because napping is out of the question for me during the day. I moderating my activities so that any vigorous tasks that might stress or wake me more are finished at least an hour and a half before bedtime.

Listening to classical music in place of television also helps calm me and relax me to the point where my mind is ready to sleep. Along the same lines as reducing TV watching is making sure I turn off the computer well in advance of my anticipated bed time.

I’ve been drinking plenty of water and makings sure I’m eating a healthy diet, which helps me feel better in general. An ounce or two of red wine with dinner helps put me out as well, but I’m so tired it feels like my baby is eating my brain.

Baby Center has a list of sleep aids for new parents, but I would LOVE to hear any suggestions that you may have for sleeping better with an infant.

Post from: Blisstree

Sleep deprivation and new parenthood

Crying is an infant’s only method of expression, yet can be incredibly stressful to new parents. Food, a clean diaper and attention are the three key elements of keeping baby happy, but this list of ways to soothe a fussy baby has some great suggestions to help with the attention part.

I especially like # 7:

7. WALKING WITH BABY.
One of the easiest baby—and parent—calmers is a simple walk. When our babies were fussy and obviously needed a change of scenery, I borrowed a motto from Knute Rockne, the famous Notre Dame football coach: “When the going gets tough, the tough get going.” I would nestle our baby in a sling and take a long walk, each time trying to vary the route and the attractions.

Nothing gets our little one to calm down like a few laps around the house, or up and down the street. As always, I’d love to hear your experiences and what helped you calm fussy babies.

Post from: Blisstree

Infant crying

Late in my wife’s pregnancy she began craving apples and apple juice in massive quantities. Come to find out, there is evidence that apples in a pregnant woman’s diet may prevent asthma in her children. Based on the clarity and force with which his diaper changing screams rip through my skull as soon as I nod off to sleep, I would concur with this study without any additional research.  Other studies indicate that consuming apples in childhood help reduce symptoms of asthma in children, as well.

Last night was his first night home and went well, he just made sure that neither of us slept for too long. We took turns, on and off, roughly every two hours with him, which doesn’t make for a very restful night. However, it’s totally worth it. He’s an amazing little bundle and what makes the loss of sleep worthwhile issssdfgvhjynuygt6h43wqaqddddddddddddddddddddddddd

Post from: Blisstree

He’s got gooood lungs

As with the case with many questions in life, people are only asking you so they can then tell you their opinion. This question is no exception and I’ve gotten quite a range opinion on this topic from “that’s so disgusting” to “it’s absolutely beautiful.” I’m expecting my opinion to lay somewhere in between, but I do plan on cutting the cord as I want to participate in the birth as much as possible. It’s important to me because I want to participate in his life as much as possible, every step of the way. Cutting the cord seems like the first post natal step.

As busy as I have been preparing for the little one’s arrival, I am still essentially on the side lines of the whole affair, that’s just how nature is. The baby would be born whether or not I were in the picture and I think cutting the cord, although essentially nothing more than a gesture, is part of the experience. It’s something I want to share in.

I’d love to hear some feedback on this. Take the poll below, and if you have more thoughts on the matter let me know in a comment.

Post from: Blisstree

Cutting the cord