What constitutes cheating? What can be classified as cheating? Is cheating subjective or do we follow an unspoken rule? Do rules on cheating differ when two people are just dating than when these two are in a relationship?

Dodgy as it may sound, there are individuals who believe that cheating IS subjective. There’s always that context of “it depends” and the sad part about all of it is that these people don’t even realise that they are indeed being subjective.

For example, it has been raised that by mere “checking out” the opposite sex — accompanied by attraction, of course — even without action can constitute as cheating for some. Note, the principle behind “thou shalt not covet thy neighbour’s wife” applies in this situation. As for others, upon hearing this example, they would react in a way that shows their disapproval or disdain over them people who believes in such.

Isn’t that a case of something being subjective?

Hence, I write this now in order to get to the bottom of things, hoping to find answers to the questions I’ve posted above. I’d like to know what YOU would consider as cheating. Not too much to ask now, is it? I’d really appreciate your thoughts on this subject.

Post from: Blisstree

Is Cheating Subjective?

While having coffee with a bunch of guy friends, I presented the question that basically asks this, “What’s your stand if or when a girl asks you out?” And Mister Logan casually and graciously answered it under two scenarios:

Scenario #1
With a girlfriend, attached, committed, espoused

Mister Logan said he will politely decline for obvious reasons — that he’s already with someone and he’s not the type who would “fool around” so to speak.

Scenario #2
Without a girlfriend, unattached, very much single, free as a bird

Mister Logan said he’ll accommodate it, if there’s a hint of attraction, he’s fine with the lady asking him out.

Bottomline, Mister Logan is quite flattered either way (status being with or without a girlfriend, I mean). He thinks that it’s quite admirable for a woman to have the boldness to initiate the act, whereas by tradition and norm, it’s always the guy who initiates or asks the girl out. Getting asked is definitely a flattering thing, me thinks, and guys being on the receiving end of something out of the ordinary as this is definitely a special thing.

I guess it’s now quite acceptable to have the tables turned. However, I’m still not quite comfortable with the thought, I can’t think I’d have the courage to do it myself but perhaps it can work for other women.

What about you, ladies? Will you ask a guy out? Do you think it acceptable, too? Have you been in a situation wherein you asked a guy out? Share!

What about the rest of the guys who read Dating Dames? What do you think about us women asking you guys out?

Post from: Blisstree

Guy’s POV: The Ladies Asking the Guys Out

Just how much does a typical date cost nowadays?

I’m not limiting to the dinner and movies kinda date. It can be any sort that YOU consider typical, just simply let me know how much it usually costs you.

You can simply vote on our poll (as soon as I get it up, that is) or you can leave a comment on this post, OR you can blog about it and send me the link and I’ll be more than happy to link up!

This question was inspired by a blogger friend, Juned, who also happens to blog at A Feed is Born. He added a twist, which I might have wanted to apply on this blog but it’ll be difficult since I live on a different continent. Hehehe. Thanks, Juned!

Post from: Blisstree

Just How Much Should A Typical Date Cost?

Tough question, I should say.

Personally, it’s not totally about revealing flaws but knowing that you’re not simply acting a certain way to get him to keep dating you. Know what I mean?

Like what I read in the author’s answer, making up certain things about yourself can lead to catastrophic ends when found out. It’ll just be one lie after the other. I can’t imagine being in a relationship that will put so much stress on me. Is it really worth the effort?

If you reveal your true self and your new date doesn’t, er, approve then it simply means he’s not really for you. You need to be with someone who will accept your entire being.. completely. Oh, alright. That’s me being a romantic but, hey, I do believe that there’s a guy who would not necessarily like everything about you but would still love you anyway, simply because these things make you YOU.

Keep your chin up, sweetie.

Read the article

Post from: Blisstree

Reveal Flaws to a New Date?

You meet a guy. He’s nice, a bit stand-off-ish at times, and smart. Perhaps he can even be cute in your book. Best part, he becomes one of your closest friends. Wow. Seems like a great guy to date, eh?

Stop. And. Think. Again.

I recommend that you consider NOT looking at him through rose-tinted glasses. Some women are guilty of being in the state of “looking” each time they meet a guy, which somehow gives the guy a halo since these women fail to see the bad points.

Here’s a short series I’ll be doing here at Dating Dames, wherein I’ll try to zone in on the kind of guys or certain guy behaviours you should be on the look out for.

You should think twice before dating Guy #1 — stand-off-ish is the operative word. It can be because he’s moody, not that it’s entirely bad, it’s just going to be difficult. For all you know he’s emotionally unstable and you’ll end up being in an unhealthy relationship, worse, if he has a heavy hand.

It can also be because he’s secretive and somehow presents a nature that’s hard to trust. You will always be plagued with the question, “what is he not telling me?” It might just drive you nuts. Date somebody whom you can trust.

Or perhaps it’s because he’s not really the type who wants to share his life with anyone, even when you are close. For all you know, YOU are close to him but if you look back to your friendship, you hardly know anything about him — you can’t really say that you really know him.

Think it over. You might realise that he’s not that cute after all.

Post from: Blisstree

Think Twice before Dating this Guy (A Series)

The conversation revolved around marriage, kids, engagements, and break ups. Of course, since I’m the only single left in the group, in a new relationship at that, I got grilled with questions regarding certain issues about the relationship, the fights, in particular.

All three have the same opinion on how they think individuals should view fights in relationships. They say it’s quite normal and, somewhat, good for it. It keeps everything “spicy” and interesting. It helps you talk about issues that can help the relationship grow.

Personally, I find fighting a little stressful and tiring. I’m often left disconcerted and uninspired. I usually resort to sleeping, thinking that it will lessen the negative feeling left by the fight.

However, after that conversation, I came out feeling a bit encouraged because, at least, I can view fights in a different light. I felt re-affirmed that communicating through fights help solve problems and does make the relationship stronger. But I also felt that these thoughts shouldn’t be used to justify “picking fights” for the heck of it, know what I mean?

I reckon we can actually learn from the phrase “picking fights”. Instead of taking it in the negative sense, we should take it as picking the kind of fights we’d engage in with our respective partners or to make a conscious decision “to fight or not to fight.”

Any thoughts on the matter?

Post from: Blisstree

To Fight or Not to Fight

I guess that’s what dating is actually for — options. It creates an ideal scenario wherein you get to try out something until you find that one thing that suits you best.

However, it doesn’t always work out that way, right?

I’ve never been in a situation wherein I’m actively “seeing” several people at one time. More often than not, I always end up seeing just one person and that’s that. I’ll find out after a date or two if it’s not going to work out. So, the idea of individuals who actually can date more than one person at a given period of time is beyond me.

I guess that’s how I define multi-dating. Of course, it’s different when you have accummulated a lot of first dates over time. Even if it meant you have indeed dated more than one person, for me, it doesn’t fall under this particular practice. That occurence is actually quite normal. It’s simply — dating.

Do you approve of multi-dating? Do you think it’s healthy? Do you think it’s effective?

If you have experienced or are currently practicing it, would you mind sharing with us, so, we can understand it better?

Post from: Blisstree

Multi-dating: Dating more than one person

Women, I’ve observed, have the tendency to feel insecure when their men become less and less “actively involved” in the relationship. Personally, I do feel somewhat jealous of the things that take his attention away from me or the relationship.

The article clarified this occurence for me a bit and I’m quite relieved that there’s some sense to why men act the way they act at a certain period in the relationship.

“Usually, when a guy starts switching his attention away from the relationship to things like work or hobbies it is because he feels secure in his relationship. Most guys have the “if it’s not broken, then don’t fix it” attitude.” — 500secretsaboutmen.com

That should pacify us, women, don’t you agree? Now, instead of “worrying” about what’s wrong [we've already established that, sometimes, there's no problem at all] it’s more productive to just work on getting, at least, a considerable amount of his attention back.

Here are 10 suggestions:

1. First, you may want to spice up the relationship in the bedroom.
2. You may want to stop by the office just to say “Hi”.
3. Start dressing sexier.
4. You will also start wanting to be less available.
5. Another way to get his attention is teasing plainly.
6. Not only should you dress sexier, but also you should walk and talk with confidence.
7. Not only should you spice up the bedroom with a new routine, but you will also want to work on your foreplay.
8. Start doing things just for him.
9. What will really get his attention is if you backed off the whole baby or marriage conversation.
10. Bluntly, ask about the relationship.

Pretty straight forward, eh?

I’m curious, though. Do you guys think that these things will work? Or do they just provide an “easy fix”?

I suggest you head on over and read the post for a more extensive explanation on each point. I learned a thing or two by doing just that.

Post from: Blisstree

10 Ways To Get His Attention Back

I’m quite curious, though. Do people schedule dates on this occasion? Or is the day just reserved for family and friends? And if you do go out on a date on this day, does it mean you’ll be meeting important people in his or her life?

Hmmm.

Well, anyway — enjoy the pumpkin and turkey! Happy Thanksgiving!

Post from: Blisstree

Happy Turkey Day Everyone!

Is this a common practice between men and women?

I understand the need for a certain amount of privacy in relationships but how can you judge which “thing” you have to keep a secret? Won’t hiding things from your partner create a rift between the two of you?

Is the saying, “What you don’t know won’t hurt you.” applies to all relationships, may it be platonic or romantic?

What ever happened to trust? Honesty?

I know no one’s perfect so that’s carried over to their respective relationships but striving to be and have one is not a crime. A little frustrating but the noble effort will be rewarded in the long run. Or am I being too naive?

Personally, working towards achieving the ideal is a good way to go.

What about you guys? Where do you stand regarding this matter? Is it a long shot or is it do-able?

Post from: Blisstree

Questions on Keeping Secrets