I have a friend who has both parents in a nursing home. Like me, she also has young children at home, but her parents live a state away.
Her mother has some dementia and her father cared for her until they were in a pretty severe car accident about a year ago. Her mother was sent to a nursing home for rehab, but her dementia worsened and her father couldn’t take care of her.
Her father has diabetes, and wasn’t caring for himself properly, so he was admitted to the same nursing home, temporarily. It turned out that he had many other …read more

There’s an excellent post at Caring.com by Paula Spencer.
In Questions I Wish I Had Asked Mom, Spencer brings up a good point, I wish I had asked my mother more questions about her side of things when she was dying.
It’s hard toward the end, because you are tuned into taking care of “business” and attending to physical needs.
Other than the types of questions in the article, the thing I most wish I had asked my mother was, “How do you know?” the day she told us she “had to go”.
While I fully realize that was probably none …read more

When a parent dies, there are all kinds of emotions. But, one that doesn’t always get a lot of press is “relief”.
There might be feelings of relief that the parent is no longer suffering. However, for some, a parent’s death might bring about a sense of emotional freedom, especially when the relationship with the parent was conflicted:
But, with this relief might come feelings of guilt:
“We think it’s unseemly to ‘profit’ from a parent’s death, as though it means we’re glad they’re dead,” Safer says. “But research shows that a majority of bereaved adults report significant improvements in their lives after …read more

My friend, Newscoma reflects on becoming an adult:
There are those official moments when you know you’ve been tossed into adultdom and you know it. Illness of a parent or making long-term lifetime commitments are the obvious choices of when we do “Crap, I’m a damned adult. Get me out of here.”
And, her post on the upcoming anniversary of her mother’s death is not to be missed.
As I’ve said lots of time here, I was catapulted into the world of adulthood when my mother was diagnosed with cancer. Funny, though, until then, I had no idea I wasn’t and adult. …read more

At the risk of getting hung up on people whose parents have died, I wanted to point you to my friend, Jenn’s, powerful entry about her own journey on the anniversary of her mother’s death.

Apparently, I forgot to write about the first anniversary (July 20th) of my mother’s death here.
I started talking about it at Busymom.net, and, I guess I just kept going over there.
Prior to the day, I found myself really restless, and, I couldn’t really pinpoint why, but, I guess this was it.
I talked to my dad to try to figure out what he was thinking, and, to see if he wanted to do anything in particular to celebrate (?) it.
He didn’t say anything about it, though he sounded a little down. I talked to him again later …read more

Jill Fallon writes a beautiful 3 post series about her mother’s death at Legacy Matters, and, Estate Vaults.
The first post, My Mother is Dying, tells of her colon cancer diagnosis, and, her rather rapid decline.
A Beautiful Death describes her joyful last days, and, finally, she wrote a Eulogy for My (her) Mother.
It’s a little hard for me to read so close to the first anniversary of my own mother’s death, but, it is beautiful, and, inspirational, don’t miss it.
(via Time Goes By)

My friend, Newscoma, has a touching post on the 9th anniversary of her mother’s death.
I may be 41, but you never get over losing a parent. The cancer she had was really horrible and we saw this lovely, vibrant woman disintegrate before our eyes over a period of 14 months.
Go read the rest.

At the risk of this becoming the “adults who lose their parents” blog, if you are a Grey’s Anatomy fan, last night was moving.
I didn’t get to see it, and, I don’t want to spoil everything about it for you, but, someone’s dad died. My friend, Sista Smiff, writes about her reaction to it based on her personal experience.
More about what inspired the episode can be found at the Grey’s Anatomy writer’s blog, Grey Matter, too. A particularly meaningful excerpt:
I’m sorry it was so hard to watch – but I believe that where there is darkness there is …read more