On our first trip to Russia to meet AJ we were able to spend about 9 hours with him over three days and each moment was precious. He began to take to us after that first day and we learned so much about him in that short time period. We have a lot to learn but he will certainly teach us…he was not shy.
Our representative walked into the room and handed AJ to me and he was so scared. He took a couple of deep rattling inhales and would not look at me or hang onto me, something I completely …read more

Just before we left to return home I captured this picture of AJ taking a break in front of the playroom window.
He was getting yet another cold, he was tired, and to me, he looks so alone. In reality, he was trying to escape stimulation, something that he continued to do at home when he got there. He used to stand at his favorite window with his cars and watch the cars on the street go past the house.

Three years ago we “officially” embarked on our adoption journey by boarding a plane to St. Petersburg, Russia on Good Friday. We were excited, nervous, and anxious. We anticipated everything that was to come, all that we were to encounter, and we were hoping that AJ would be all that we had ever dreamed our first child would be.

Most days I feel like a horrible mom.
In fact, by 7 p.m. I am so defeated by just one four year old that I don’t know what to do anymore. Lately, meaning the last few weeks, he has been very difficult and we are now looking into adoption and family services to help us with him.

Whew, gosh. That is probably one of the hardest things I have ever said. It is almost like admitting I am a failure as a mom.