Post from: Blisstree

To Tell The Truth

My children love, love, love pulling pranks on my husband and I. We have found salami slices wedged between our underwear, raw eggs in the ice dispenser (only after drinking egg yolk,) and have suffered countless other practical jokes at the hands of our offspring. The scary thing is, it wasn’t even April Fool’s Day! So you can imagine why I am walking around with the eyes in the back of my head wide open and my underwear pre-cut (ready for the wedgie fest that shall commence after school today.)

Am I the only one who is more afraid of my children’s pranks than they are mine? What is the best/worst prank that your child has ever pulled on you? Are you part of the pre-cut underwear club today? Sound off in the comments section…but only while keeping a weather eye out for pranksters!

Image: Kadi Prescott

Post from: Blisstree

Happy April (Mama Didn’t Raise No) Fool’s Day!

For those of you who have not heard, my family and I are slated to appear on Supernanny in early March. While I cannot answer reader questions, as of yet, I do want to pose a question to you. What is your opinion of families who chose to allow their personal lives to be captured and broadcast on national television? Do you find it inappropriate, or do you find it commendable? The reason I am curious to get your opinion on this matter, is that the ABC message boards are always buzzing with viewers opinions after the show. Many times, the opinions expressed contain an air of disgust at the idea of people choosing to air their family’s dirty laundry.

I’m baffled by the sentiment of some people that the concept of taking such extreme measures to obtain the help they need, is deplorable. Of course, I am biased. So I’d like to find out if this is a commonly held belief, or just a shared opinion of a few select commentators. Sound off in the comments section, please.

Post from: Blisstree

Donate Your Two Cents

In my grandmother’s day, being a housewife meant being a wife who stays in the house. She cleaned, cooked, managed finances and looked after the children. Sure, she had the occasional cup of coffee with Mrs. Smith down the street. But there were no such things as ladies’ night out, play groups and chat rooms. I asked my grandma if the women back then ever shared their burdens and struggles, as mothers. She thought for a minute and then admitted that nobody really talked about those things. “We swapped recipes and talked about the next church pot luck. But nothing ever went deeper than the surface.”

I found her statement very sad. I strongly feel that women, especially moms, need to have a support system where they feel safe to vent their feelings and share their struggles. Marital communication was not really made an issue like it is today. In fact, it seemed like everyone aspired to paint a portrait of perfection. Even things like divorce and depression were taboo. I really wonder how all of those women coped with their problems, without having the liberty to talk about difficult issues. This, of course, is a generalization. There might have been women who had a good confessional source or emotional outlet, but the more elderly women I pose the question to, the more I realize that imperfections were just not something that women wanted to admit to.

I’ve decided, in an effort to encourage greater female communication and sisterhood, that I will start a sister circle. I encourage all of you to keep this going. It is an exercise that frees the soul and helps to lift the burdens of the stresses that we encounter, as moms. Even if you are not a mom, I strongly encourage you to join the circle. List your admissions, confessions, burdens or concerns in the comments section. Then, feel free to send an email to your friends, with a link back to this site. The more we spread the word, the larger the circle becomes. As the circle grows in circumference, you will notice many commonalities with other women. It is a nice reminder that we are not alone in our roles!

My Ten Tidbits

1. I struggle with feeling like I am doing an adequate job in my role as a mother.

2. I have a son who has ADHD and I have a hard time feeling confident in my ability to parent him correctly.

3. Sometimes, I get scared that having so many children stretches me so thin that I do not give them the individual attention they deserve.

4. I have horrible eating habits.

5. I chose to have breast augmentation after I was done having children and I have never regretted it.

6. I had a hard time making the decision to have a breast augmentation because I felt like moms shouldn’t do that.

7. I yell at my kids when I know I shouldn’t. It happens out of anger and I feel like crap afterwards.

8. Sometimes I wish that my husband would feel the same guilt that I feel when I’m away from the kids.

9. I take Lexapro to help treat my TMJ symptoms. I have TMJ because I do not handle my stress well. I feel like a loser just for that reason.

10. I have gotten jealous of working moms because I thought they had it easier…even though I know it’s not true.

So there is my list. The bad, the embarrassing and the ugly. But it feels wonderful to lift it off of my chest. I will feel even better knowing that it helped another mom who may struggle with the same issues. Feel free to post your own, anonymously, if you wish. I would appreciate leaving any negative feedback out during this exercise. However, if you read a comment that inspires you, please respond and let that person know. The sister circle is about building each other up and freeing ourselves. I hope that you find it freeing, as well!

Post from: Blisstree

The Sister Circle

 The following is an article that I had published over at the Crazy Hip Blog Mamas. It is an important lesson for parents and children alike!

 “Mom, I don’t have any friends at school,” my four year old complained on the way to school one morning.

“Well, in order to make friends, you need to be willing to introduce yourself. Tell them your name and ask if they would like to play.”

Without hesitation, he replied, “But Mom, I’m too scared to do that.”

“I know it can be scary, honey, but it is the only way to make a new friend.”

Later that day, as I sat alone at the park watching my toddlers play with neighboring children, I realized that I was very lonely. We had just moved into the area, and I had not made one single friend. I had been terribly homesick and battling blues for a few months. Despite the encouragement I had been doling out to my kids to make friends in their new environment, I myself had not been practicing what I preached. The solution was clear, but not as easy as it seemed.

There were other moms at the park that day, but they were already buddied up with someone. I am an extrovert, by nature, but this was terrifying. How many moms have approached you with the request to be your friend? Wouldn’t you think them a little strange? I know I would. I had to come up with a plan, and fast. I looked and felt ridiculous twiddling my thumbs in the remotest part of the play area. I began to have a profound empathy for what my children were facing at their new schools.

Just then, a voice snapped me out of my thoughts.

“Is that little boy yours?” It was another mom, inquiring about my three year old.

“Yes, he is.”

“He is such a sweetheart!”

We talked for quite awhile as we watched our kids play together. The fear of rejection and looking like a total idiot, quickly dissipated as I realized that they key to making friends is commonality. If you find a point of commonality, which for moms is obviously having children, then initiating conversation will be a piece of cake. You may find that the two of you have a ton in common, as the conversation progresses, and become friends. Or you may find that she is a person that you do not see eye to eye with. Either way, at least you didn’t spend your time watching the grass grow and feeling lonely.

I shared my new found philosophy with the kids, later that day, and it has helped them tremendously in their endeavors to make new pals. More so, it has helped to lessen my home sickness and depression. I am now able to spark up a nice chat with any mom who may be sharing the local park that day. I have even worked my way up to approaching an already formed duo of mommies, and inviting myself in to the topic of conversation. It gets easier every time I try. Chat rooms are great, and phone conversations are helpful when I need to hear an old friend’s voice, but the need for face to face interaction will never die. Now that I have learned to integrate that into my life again, I am a much happier person, and a better mom!

Post from: Blisstree

The Importance Of Making Friends

Starbucks tests $1 cup of coffee

Free refills are also on tap as the Seattle coffee giant responds to increased competition and braces for an economic slowdown that could blunt consumer spending. (The Wall Street Journal)

Three cheers for Starbucks! Hip, hip, hoo…what? Surely they can’t be serious! Are they really selling their delicious white chocolate mochas and caramel frappuccinos for a mere 100 pennies (51 pence)? Before you get all excited, let me elaborate. Only the regular old coffee will be one dollar. Everything else will still cost one day of college tuition for your children.

I ask you, how many people really drive to Starbuck’s and wait in the mile long lines for a regular old cup of coffee? Personally, I’d rather brew my own regular old cup of joe for 10 cents. I realize that this strategic maneuver is an effort to compete with chains like Mc Donalds, who are offering a new line of gourmet brews, but it is going to take a whole lot more than just lower priced regular coffee. Here are my suggestions for attracting more Starbucks consumers:

1. Breakfast offerings that do not taste so nasty. Have you tried their line of wraps and sandwiches…blech! Most of the pastries are stale tasting and don’t even get me started on their fresh fruit bowls.

2. A staff supervised play area for kids! Hello? How many moms groups would meet and eat at Starbucks if they offered even a half an hour of respite from their kiddos? I’m willing to bet in the hundreds of thousands.

3. Theme nights. School and group fundraising opportunities. Poetry nights. Featured musicians. Something besides just expensive coffee and and pricey internet connections.

Maybe some of the current locations offer something in the way of entertainment, but I’ve never seen it. If I owned a Starbucks, it would be the highest grossing coffee franchise in the country because I know what people want. Well, at least what parents want. Being that there are so many moms (and dads) who would gladly pay money to sit and enjoy some coffee and fresh baked streusel with their cronies, while their little angels are entertained, I’d be the most popular coffee house around. Who knows, I might even add a parent nap room and attach a shower area for SAH parents like me, who are forced to consider those things occasional luxuries!

What would you like to see Starbucks implement as a means of attracting more parents?

Post from: Blisstree

Worth Every Penny?

“When I was a kid, we didn’t have fancy things like fresh drinking water!” I can still hear Dana Carvey spoofing the age old tradition of elderly story telling. It was a very funny Saturday Night Live skit, until I heard myself echoing those very same sentiments the other night. After I picked my jaw up off the ground and checked for newly sprouted gray hairs, I returned the the kitchen conversation between my nine year old and my husband.

“But Dad, all the girls at my school have cell phones! When can I have one?” Marlie stood with her arms crossed, trying desperately to plead a case that she had no chance of winning. Despite our explanation that she had no reason to be in possession of such a device, Marlie could not fathom why we would not indulge her wish to be like all the other girls. Dad tried to break it down for her, “Cell phones are necessities for people who need to contact somebody and have no means of doing so. You are only away from us during school hours and can always use the school phone if need be. When you are visiting family or friends, you may use their phone. There is never a time when you are without a means of contacting us. When that time comes, we will consider getting you a cell phone. End of story.”

Marlie stormed off to her room, where she could sulk in solitude. Dad and I wondered how many kids really carry cell phones, these days. So I did a little research.  The site www.cellnumbers.com, states that over fifty percent of American children, own a cell phone. That statistic was derived in the year 2005. I’m positive that it has gone up since then. In my opinion, the only reason that a child needs a cell phone is if that child is somewhere without a parent or guardian. I’m not sure why any elementary aged child would be in that situation, but I’m sure it happens.

I do think that once a child reaches junior high age, a cell phone is important for communication purposes. This is usually the age that kids take part in after school sports and attend social gatherings, without a parent present. But before then, a parent or guardian should always be present for safety reasons. I’m sure that some of you would disagree with my theory on kids and cell phone possession. I just don’t see how it is necessary for a young child to have such a device, when they shouldn’t be in the position where they would need one, in the first place. Am I right, or should I go buy myself a cane and hearing aids to complete my transformation into an old fart?

Post from: Blisstree

Kids And Cell Phones…Necessity Or Frivolity?

Are you a multi-tasker? Are you raising a multi-tasker?

I’ll admit, I’m guilty of doing a zillion things at once in order to get them all done before my favorite shows come on at 8:00 PM. I want to be able to kick back, relax and enjoy the evening watching television with the family. But to get there, I find that I overextend my brainpower most times and begin making little mistakes.

A prime example occurred yesterday. I’ve prepared this particular meal hundreds of times, but because I was trying to do 6 things at one time, I discovered I left out one very important step.

While doing a bit of digging on the impact multi-tasking has on kids, I found an article that puts multi-tasking in a ‘proper’ light.

When we’re distracted, the brain bypasses the hippocampus and relies on the striatum, which is really designed for recalling how to do tasks you have done so often that they’ve become second-nature, such as which route you need to take to walk to school. Information stored in the striatum is tied closely to the specific situation in which it is learned. (We remember that geometry principle only if it’s presented in exactly the same way on a test.) What’s more, while it may seem as if we’re doing many things simultaneously, the brain can really only focus on one thing at a time, unless the other skills involved are purely automatic.

William R. Stixrud, Ph.D., a neuropsychologist in Silver Spring, Maryland offers an example that I could actually wrap my own mind around by comparing the brain to a computer.

“You may have several screens open on your desktop, but you’re able to think about only one at a time.”

I might actually be able to get my kids to make some sense of that one!

I’ve noticed it’s difficult for my own children to study when everyone is sitting at the kitchen table. I might be helping one with math while the other is asking for help with vocabulary words. This constant discussion on varied topics creates a level of chaos that can’t be good on the children’s brains.

So, are you guilty of multi-tasking or even creating a safe multi-tasking environment for your children?

What are some suggestions you can offer for parents who are wanting to help create a more multi-task free home?

Post from: Blisstree

The Hazards of Multitasking

Sometimes I find myself just shy of calling on Supernanny myself.  Living in a house of four teenagers now has it’s rewards, certainly, but there are those enormous challenges that we face almost daily.

I’ve never been a big fan of negativity.  Especially inside the home.  I feel we deal with enough negativity on the outside that we should try our best to be nice to one another when at home.

I have to wonder how other parents deal with smart mouths, rude and downright mean comments or negative attitudes that seem to become the norm?

As an example:

One child gets excited over a project and makes a comment in excitement then the next chimes in saying “you know what?  I could care less about your stupid project.”

The excitement of the first child is now completely deflated and the mood is set for the rest of the day.

Any tips on how to nip that type of behavior before it gets too out of control?

If it were up to me, my house would be farting rainbows 24/7 – but we all know THAT’s not going to happen.

Post from: Blisstree

Life with cranky teenagers

Is there REALLY a difference between the jobs of a woman and man when it comes to raising a family and maintaining a household?

This topic is very wide, I know!  This topic covers financial support of the family, keeping the home clean, healthy, warm and fed.  What I want to know is am I the only one who feels that men have not evolved out of the Ward Cleaver era while women are expected to maintain the June Cleaver image while carrying half the responsibility load of Ward?

I’m very interested in hearing the views of others.

Perhaps share a little about your own situation or a situation thats close to you and then share what life would be like in YOUR Perfect World.

Post from: Blisstree

Is it really mommy’s job?