The Decision to Snoop

There are definitely situations where the decision to take advantage of access to private information is the right decision.  Many cheaters and liars have been caught through reading emails or text messages.  It is a very serious decision to decide to snoop around on your partner and I only recommend this decision if you have other evidence that leads you to believe that your partner has been lying.

This is the most important aspect of this decision:  Do not make the decision to snoop unless you are fully prepared to confront your partner about your discovery and take appropriate actions to deal with the situation.  If you think your partner is cheating, finding the actual evidence is going to be mind-blowingly devastating and you need to emotionally prepare yourself to make decisions that will be the right ones for you and your future.

Snooping is not an action that should be taken lightly.  It should not be incorporated into your relationship as a regular activity.  If you decide to snoop it is because you are trying to find out if your partner has been dishonest with you and you are finally taking a step to discover the truth.  If you snoop once and find that your partner is being truthful and honest, have the self-restraint to not snoop again.  You found what you were looking for, so move forward in your relationship with trust and happiness.

The Decision Not To Snoop

In most relationships, the decision to respect each other’s privacy is the right one.  Snooping involves distrust and trust should be a strong element that exists at the base of your relationship.  If you are curious about your partner’s relationships with exes and friends of the opposite sex, that is not a reason to snoop.  Even if you have access to all of your partner’s private information, you should be happy that you trust each other enough to share that and not abuse it.

Snooping will always make you feel guilty and dirty.  It is not a good feeling to go behind your partner’s back, so always try direct communication and calm confrontation before resorting to snooping.  If you are caught snooping, you need to take responsibility for your actions and understand that you have put your relationship at risk by violating mutual trust.  If you are not caught, you risk developing a bad habit that will emotionally separate you from your partner as you sneak around and hide information that you have discovered.

Please take the issue of snooping in a relationship extremely seriously.  Even just quickly checking your partner’s emails or text messages can open the door to behavior that is hurtful and distrustful.  If you are feeling like making the decision to snoop, consider all of the consequences of losing trust in your relationship and truly consider what you are looking to find.

This behavior can be addictive and can become a self-destructive habit extremely quickly, so consider your reasons and consequences before committing to your actions.

Image: sxc.hu

Post from: Blisstree

How To Decide If You Should Snoop

To be used as a guide for a Fourth Step – Liabilities and their definitions.

Resentment – “When we are angry or bitter toward someone for an extended period of time over some real or imagined insult, we are feeling resentment. It is a hostile or indignant attitude in response to an alleged affront or personal injury.”

False Pride – “is either feeling better than or less than someone else. Feelings of superiority include prejudice about race, education or religious beliefs, and sarcasm – putting someone else down to make us feel better about ourselves. Feelings of inferiority include self-pity – dwelling on one’s own problems, and low self-esteem – the lack of self-worth or self-respect.”

Envy – “wanting someone else’s possessions.”

Jealousy – “being suspicious of another’s motives or doubting the faithfulness of a friend.”

Selfishness – “concern only for ourselves, our own welfare or pleasure, without regard for, or at the expense of, others.”

Laziness – “means lacking the will or the desire to work. Procrastination, which is postponing or delaying an assigned job or task, is a form of laziness.”

Dishonesty – “theft or deception. It includes taking things that don’t belong to us, cheating people out of what is rightfully theirs, and lying to or witholding the truth from others.”

Fear – “is being afraid of losing something we have or not getting something we want. It manifests itself in many ways including phobia, terror, panic, anxiety and worry.”

Post from: Blisstree

Liabilities

Nothing, nada, zilch, zero, not one iota, less!

From “There Is A Solution”

“Almost none of us liked the self-searching, the leveling of our pride, the confession of shortcomings which the process requires for its successful consummation.”

PLEASE! Pay Attention! This sentence states very, VERY clearly that without the Twelve Steps, thoroughly and completely – the process of recovery will NOT be successful!

Honesty Truthfulness

Now – really… how many of you who are between 3 to 9 months away from your last drink can say, with no reservations whatsoever, that you have had a deep and effective spiritual experience based in the Twelve Steps?

“But we saw that it really worked on others, and we had come to believe in the hopelessness and futility of life as we had been living it. When, therefore, we were approached by those in whom the problem had been solved, there was nothing left for us but to pick up the simple kit of spiritual tools laid at our feet. We have found much of heaven and we have been rocketed into a fourth dimension of existence of which we had not even dreamed.”

Yes, that process and those results! Honestly!

“The great fact is just this, and nothing less: That we have had deep and effective spiritual experiences which have revolutionized our whole attitude toward life, toward our fellows and toward God’s universe.”

Flip anyone the finger lately?

“The central fact of our lives today is the absolute certainty that our Creator has entered into our hearts and lives in such a way which is indeed miraculous. He has commenced to accomplish those things for us which we could never do by ourselves.”

Do you believe in your heart that you can answer yes, this has happened for you?

Or… when you answer “yes’ does your belly barometer go off and tell you you’ve lied but you then ignore your gut?

Post from: Blisstree

Nothing Less