Paul and I are fortunate that both of us have very reasonably laidback parents. They are very different (our whole families are very different) but everyone pretty much gets along. Most importantly, Paul gets along with my parents and I get along with his parents.

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So really, my title should be “How to be totally lucky”.

I have met some people who really claim to loathe their in-laws. Paul’s mom has often said how grateful she is that we all like each other, as if we somehow escaped something horrible and monsterous.

While I would like to think it is always our charming personalities that makes the nature of the in-law relationship work so well for us, I do believe there are some things that we all respect and adhere to in order to keep loving each other with minimal conflict.

1. No asking when we’re going to have kids. We don’t know, we’re not ready, but maybe we will be some day. Every time Paul’s mom mentions that she heard a person he knew in middle school is pregnant and doesn’t follow that up with a request for updates on when we’re planning to start a family…I love her just a little bit more.
2. Being understanding about holidays. Paul’s extended family is all closeby and my family doesn’t tend to celebrate the holidays in a big way. So it’s far more likely that we will have holiday meals with his side of the family than mine. But everyone is honest, we make sure to get quality time with my family in other ways, and it works. If there was more of an emphasis on holiday time with both sides, I could see that working as well. Because we talk about it.
3. Just close enough, but not too close. We live about forty minutes away from my parents and an hour away from Paul’s parents. It’s not difficult to get together, but we’re not living right next door. It’s the ideal situation for everyone - and makes the time we do spend together not feel forced or boring (which also just comes from generally enjoying each other’s company).

Yep, somehow we get by - and these three important points help make the difference.

The joys and pains of having someone special can be clearly felt when you go on a trip without him or her.

It can be lonely. Communicating might be a problem. You can feel the distance and can be affected greatly.

But once you do get to spend even a few minutes talking with that special someone either by phone or even just via an instant messenger application. He or she can wipe away the loneliness. Will make you feel connected. Will help renew your vigor to experience the foreign land once more.

Yes. I’m currently in Cambodia for a 7-day vacation (Vietnam-Cambodia trip) without my partner. Internet access has been sporadic, my mobile phone doesn’t work so every chance I get to go online, are the only opportunities I can get in touch with him. It’s a bit of a trial but I try not to think about it too much.

How do you guys fare in separations? Geographical and short-term. Let me know!

I just came back from the trip and one thing that made an huge and lasting impression on me regarding putting distance between you and your partner is that proximity does matter.

I’m sure there are couples out there who go through long distance relationships and succeed, however, I’m also certain that they need assurance every so often that they can see their partner at a given time. They, too, will find that the distance can put a strain on the relationship. Perhaps it’s in the intensity that will differ per couple.

Even when I spoke of technology bridging the gap, I also pointed out how it cannot replace your partner’s physical presence. Assured with the knowledge that with one call you can easily see and be with him or her. During the trip, I found it frustrating that I can only connect using my mobile phone or an occasional chat session (if I’m lucky).

Though, I have to admit that the trip helped me see how I have taken it for granted — my ability to be with him anytime and with ease. It made realise how I’m fortunate to not be in a long distance relationship (that’s not saying the ones who aren’t are unfortunate, ok?). I simply think that my needs are best met with a partner who can be physically around me during the relationship in order of things to work out.

IMHO, proximity (close, at that!) simply plays a big role in nurturing a relationship. What about you guys? What do you think?

I believe I’ve spoken about maintaining individuality and spending time away from your partner, however, I can’t help but wonder that even when I’ve been in a relationship for half a year now, will I be able to pass the test of distance?

It’ll just be four days. I’ll be going off on a *political* road trip (part of media on a campaign caravan of a senatorial candidate), which means I’ll be on the road without my partner beside me and I’ll be doing my own thing. It’s a bit unsettling since, for the past few months, I’ve grown used to the fact that I can see him in a heartbeat if he or I want to. The last time we were apart was when he spent Christmas in the province with his family.

I have to admit that I am excited about this opportunity to further my career as a writer-slash-blogger in new media but, of course, it’s a bit hard doing stuff knowing that I’m leaving someone behind. The dilemma of attachments me thinks.

I reckon this sort of thing comes in every relationship and standing the test of distance may help make us stronger (that certainly sounded cliché-ish ) but regardless, this is something I need to learn. Not to detach but simply to be a little less dependent on the security of proximity.

Anyway, I’m sure this is an opportunity to learn something new — both on relationships and building careers.

What do you guys think? Any thoughts?