I need pants. 
I mean really desperately.  I think I have two pairs of jeans that fit and three pairs of professional pants that don’t make my rear look hideous.
But, see, I can’t get pants.
Nah, it’s not because of the economy.  It’s not even because I hate to shop in general (which is true).  It’s because I feel FAT today.  Really fat.  Like I’ve gained 20 pounds overnight.  Like my belly needs its own zip code.
And it’s all crap and just my head and my disordered eating and my messed up body image.  Yet knowing that doesn’t make it go away.
To …read more

I received a nice comment from blogger Erin who suggested that I consider her site for Breaking the Mirror’s blogroll. 
As I was perusing her posts, one caught my eye.  Entitled “I Wonder How Much That Girl Weighs”, I found it particularly fascinating.  Erin has even included two links to sites that allow you to find people your own height and weight -or- BMI so you can get a better indication of what you really look like. 
Check it out — and tell Erin hello!

I may as well be a vampire. 
Not for the blood-sucking and definitely not for the “no garlic” rule, but for the “I-can’t-cast-a-reflection-in-a-mirror” aspect of vampire life.
See, when I look in the mirror, what stares back at me is so distorted and weird that it might as well not be there at all.  It really hit me today that I have ZERO idea of how I look. 
I mean it.
ZERO.
I don’t know if I’m thin or fat or in-between.  I don’t know if I’m ugly or pretty or homely or acceptable.  I don’t know anything at all about my appearance.
Is that good?  …read more