I appreciated the email – it’s preferable to being blown off – but today I started thinking about it again. I sometimes over analyze things, but I’ve also been known to jump into something when I should take my time.  I was just in a very serious relationship and I’m not looking for something like that right now. I’d like to meet a nice guy for dinner, movies, hikes – fun stuff. I want to take my time getting to know someone.

This man, he is separated and getting serious about someone that he only met a few days ago. This gives the impression that he is someone who does not like to be alone. That may appeal to some people, but not to me.  I’m pretty independent.  Or maybe I’m not ready yet and I’m making excuses.

What do you think?  Does a man who isn’t even divorced yet, but decides to get serious about someone after only a few days set off any warning bells for you?  Is it possible that I dodged a bullet by going out of town to visit my family, rather than dating this guy?

Post from: Blisstree

Dating and Dodging Bullets

Divorced Guys: 8 Dating Rules

• Rule #1: Women want to be listened to and heard.
• Rule #2: Women expect some level of chivalry, even in our modern world.
• Rule #3: Women want compatibility, so emphasize your common ground early in the relationship.
• Rule #4: Don’t rush the physical side of the relationship.
• Rule #5: Women don’t want to hear about your ex, at least not right away.
• Rule #6: Look the part.
• Rule #7: Women are listeners, not fixers, and want their men to be the same.
• Rule #8: Women want to know if you’re NOT interested in seeing her again.

I agree with all of the rules, but some things, like men being “fixers,” that’s their nature. At some point, we’ve got to let men be men. If a guy is giving you unsolicited advice, he’s trying to be useful or helpful. Just smile politely, nod your head, and hear him out. He might have something good and if he doesn’t, so what. It doesn’t hurt to listen.

On the subject of letting a woman know when a man is not interested, well that’s never going to be a comfortable situation.  I agree that it’s polite to let someone know – nobody likes to wait and wonder – but do it gently. I went on a walking date with a guy and I thought he seemed okay, I could picture myself kissing him at some point in the future (my personal attraction measurement).  We said goodbye and then later he sent me an email saying that he enjoyed our walk, but he felt we were not a good match. He rejected me, but he didn’t embarrass me by saying to my face, hey I’m really not attracted to you. I felt that his no thank you email was a gentle approach.

I think both sexes need to avoid the ex-talk as much as possible. If you can’t stop talking about an ex, then you head is most likely full of thoughts about that person, and you probably aren’t ready to begin dating someone new. Give yourself some time to get it right and you will be doing you both a favor.

Post from: Blisstree

Dating Advice For the Divorced Man