Rihanna has become the public face for domestic abuse, as her story is all-too common. According to one source, domestic violence, “is the most common cause of injury to women ages 15-44.”

Suffering abuse is bad enough. But it also changes the way women behave in relationships from that point forward. If women stay in a bad relationship, they are “likely to stop trusting their own perceptions and become passive” in everything from friendships to relationships.

The effects of abuse don’t end when the physical violence stops. Women need to remove themselves from these types of situations, and most of all they need to know that they didn’t do a thing to deserve them. Nothing. Women typically second-guess themselves and try to accommodate, so it’s their nature to want to please and get along. But they need to work against this instinct, and value their worth.

Rihanna, this beautiful and talented young women, needs to know her worth. If you could give Rihanna a message right now, what would it be?

Post from: Blisstree

What Would You Tell Rihanna?

While most of the comments are from people who are shocked and appalled at Chris Brown’s behavior, there some comments blaming Rihanna. Comments like “I don’t think Chris would just a hit a girl like that. She had to do something or say something out the way for him to really hurt her. And “… Chris’ career may be ruined forever … sooo sad. I love all his songs. Well I’m still gonna support him. I just don’t believe it … until he says it ….. cause Rihanna is a ***** .. well she looks like one anyways.”

It’s disgusting that people would blame the victim. It’s sad that after everything we’ve learned about domestic abuse there are still some people who defend the abuser.

Arguments are never resolved with fists. And it is NEVER ok for a man to hit a woman. There is not a single thing she could have said that would make it ok for him to leave her bruised and battered. If she was attacking him he needed to pull over and walk (or run) away. Call for help. It may not seem “manly” for a guy to run away, but a real man doesn’t hit a woman.

Unfortunately there are still a few people out there who don’t understand this.

Post from: Blisstree

Stop Blaming the Victim

Unfortunately dating violence isn’t as rare as we might think (or at least hope). But there isn’t a lot of education on the matter. Our teens have sex education class that teaches them about their bodies and pounds the abstinence message in to their head, but there is very little talk about healthy relationships and teen dating violence.

According to Love Is Not Abuse, 62% of dating tweens have a friend who has been verbally abused by a boyfriend/girlfriend. And only about half of tweens actually know the warning signs. Scary!

We need to talk to our teens about healthy relationships. Teens should be treating their partner with respect. No name calling or jealous rage. Teens need to understand Teen Dating Bill of Rights and Pledge. And they need to know the warning signs of an abusive relationship so they can get out early and know when to seek help.

A teen should ask, “Am I dating somebody who…”

• calls me names?
• tells me how what I can and cannot wear?
• tells me who I can and cannot talk to?
• won’t let me hang out with my friends?
• is jealous or possessive?
• won’t let me make any decisions?
• threatens me?
• is violent? Gets in to fights all the time? And brags about it?
• tries to pressure me to have sex?
• abuses alcohol and drugs?
• tries to control me?
• hits me?
• puts me down?
• makes me feel bad about myself?

Relationships are supposed to be loving and supportive. If you’re miserable then it’s time to get out. If it’s abuse then it’s time to seek help. Nobody deserves to suffer at the hands of somebody who is supposed to love them.

Post from: Blisstree

Educating Teens About Dating Violence