Finally! After much consternation and carping on my part about the lack of proper e-mail etiquette these days, comes music to my ears.

In the words of manners expert Letitia Baldridge in this week’s The New York Times Sunday Styles Section:

“…we need to have grace in our lives, and I’m not talking about heavenly grace. I’m talking about human grace…”

Ms. Baldridge is referring to how we compose, and more specifically how we sign-off on our e-mails.

Your salutation should be warm, friendly, appropriate to the situation or environment you are in…and above all it should be polite and friendly.

This article was helpful for me…I am sometimes guilty of ending my notes with the cold and rushed-sounding “Best, Kim.”

From now on, no matter how busy I am, recipients will receive a “Warm regards, Kim”. Unless I’m mad at you…:).

And if you’d like a more expansive understanding of online etiquette, visit NetManners.com.

Every year, as soon as I start to see Halloween decorations, I begin to examine the past year in terms of my goals, my accomplishments and my disappointments.

I know we still have several months to go before year-end, but I can’t help reflecting — maybe it’s the shift in temperature? (And when did those goofy blow up balloons become so popular?)

I discovered recently, that my saved e-mails also offers an opportunity for me to reflect:

• The shameless self-promotion note to the editor of Vogue (Thanks for nothing Ms. Wintour.)
• Ideas that never came to fruition.
• The horrible missives between my colleague and myself.
• The notes that should have never been sent, after a fine bottle of Pino Noir.
• The one-word notes?! Thanks, sorry, whatever.

But thankfully, my past year in e-mail also shows the history of some of my successes: A feature piece in More Magazine, a prestigious stationery award, and a very distinctive debut at an industry trade show and most recently learning how to sort of blog.

And there are 3 (well, 2.5) more months to go…isn’t that something wonderful to to relfect upon?

Several years ago, while working at a large financial institution in NYC, I was given the responsibility to put together a marketing campaign directed at several hundred of the bank’s financial advisers.

In order to reach these folks, I had to get my hands on a one complete list of names. A complete list did not exist because many of the sales people did not work in one locale.

I did everything you would think to do: made phone calls, sent e-mails, visited colleagues in various locations in the city, had endless meetings. No one could either get me a list or give me the name of the person in charge of The List.

When I asked my manager for help, she remarked “…you’re a vp, you should know how to get this done…” So, I was on my own…and guess what? It turned out to be a mess.

This week, here at b5.media, where I’m lucky enough to contribute, I was experiencing mind-boggling technical difficulties with this site.

Read more

How many times have you used or heard the phrase at work — “it was just a mix-up in communications”?

When we’re young and starting out in our careers, we want to be heard. We want everyone to know how we think, what our plans are and what our contributions are to the firm. We’re probably overly communicative.

Then when we hit supervisory or managerial status, (yay us, right?) something happens to our communication skills…they become lax. As our responsibilities, the expectations of others and just everyday stress increase, we somehow forget that there are others who depend on our voice in order for them to get their job done.

Here’s a common dilemma: Normally, you and someone who reports to you have a great relationship…generally, you’re both on the same page. You both understand the trajectory of the business goals…the importance of getting Sr. management’s blessing.

Then suddenly, as if out of the blue, you start demanding or, rather, surmising that certain tasks be completed in a more compressed timeframe. But here’s the rub…you didn’t tell anyone that this was your expectation. So from the perspective of those who work for you…you seem insane and unreasonable. Or maybe they think, you think…it’s not your job anymore to keep folks in the loop.

We’ve gone over planning, listening and organization at great length here. What we’ve not delved into is communication. And I don’t mean e-mails, phone calls, text messages (don’t get me started)…I mean engagement…really bringing your team into your thought process.

Here’s my advice and it’s pretty low-tech…call up the stationery supply folks in your firm, have them send you a stack of legal pads, or better yet, one of those presentation boards on which you can write down ideas with a marker. (the non permanent kind, guys.)

Plan to have brain storming sessions once a week…get those ideas, drawings, graphs in front of everyone…then discuss and start dividing repsonsibilities.

The most important aspect of this exercise is to set realistic timeframes and deadlines. Then ask one person on your team to collect weekly status updates from each team member, put it together in one document and send it to you.

In any case let your expectations be known. If you don’t, your staff will think you don’t care about what they go through all day to accomplish your goals.

Are you an e-mail chatter box? Do you keep your inbox full rather than empty? Do you suffer from e-mail addiction? Do you know how to give the “e-mail brush-off”?

Did you know that how you manage your inbox says a lot about you? For example, “…if you keep your inbox full rather than empty, it may mean you keep your life cluttered in other ways,” says psychologist Dave Greenfield, who founded the Center for Internet Behavior in West Hartford, Conn.

Often, I would walk by someone’s desk and notice that he or she seemed to have thousands of unanswered e-mails. I can remember feeling inadequate; as in–I’m not important or popular enough to be getting all of that mail.

But then I realized that those with the over-stuffed inbox could be “e-procrastinators”…making the decision to deal with old e-mail tomorrow or the next day…similar to those who leave bills unopened for months and months. Read more

Someone help me to understand something. HOW, in this age of communication overload — i.e., phones from which you can download music, movies..send (the obnoxious) text messages, oh–and make phone calls…it is possible for people to ignore you when you send them an e-mail??

This week, almost every person from whom I’ve needed information, answers, creative materials, bills, schedules or just a simple “hiya”, has not returned my e-mails. I swear I can hear the crickets chirping, it is so quiet out there.

It tells me that those who do not return my communiques, believe their time is more important than mine. Or…that my messages are just plain dull.

I understand that we are smothered by communication all day long…but in business, if someone takes the time to send you a note…you must reply.

And I don’t mean…”hi.” I mean a thoughtful response that a) acknowledges your request or observation or whatEVER. b) provides solutions or insight in an effort to keep a project moving forward.

It’s just good etiquette.

Oh please, just admit it — you know who you are, and you know what your problem is — you or someone you know has a very specific electroninc dependency…and it’s got to stop.

Sneaking around, checking potentially IMPORTANT e-mails, leaving that stupid blinking light on 24/7, even in the blackness your room as you sleep (or your partner tries to sleep)…oh, and the bzzzzz that scares the dog toward having a mild stroke — I’m begging you…take a break and get some help.

It’s your Blackberry and there are steps that can be taken. Read Adam Bryant’s thoughts on this supremely disturbing affliction in this Sunday’s New York Times.

And for goodness sake, it’s Memorial day…I promise, it’s just spam. No, it is.