The main thing to remember is that if you want it to work, then make it a priority.  Set aside just a few minutes every week to keep in touch.  I’ve moved around a lot over the last ten years, so here are some ideas for maintaining long distance friendships:

• Scheduled monthly or weekly phone calls – Plan a specific day each month or week to call each other.  Even if you don’t think you have much to say, it helps you to keep each other updated on just the small things in your lives.
• Frequent emails – If you are more of an email person (like me) shoot out little emails frequently.  Just send a few sentences, weblinks, articles, or images that remind you of something you would have shared if you still lived in the same place.  Again, keeping in touch about the small things maintains a better friendship than just summarizing your life once a year.
• Yearly trip – Plan far in advance so you make sure that all of the friends can adjust their schedules accordingly and take advantage of the lowest prices possible.  I know a lot of people who have been planning yearly trips with the same group of friends since college, and it definitely lasts through the years!  Usually you probably travel with your spouse/significant other, but plan a trip with your long distance friend to meet up in a foreign place.  You will get to spend lots of quality time together.
• Instant messaging – There are many interfaces out there, but choose one that is paired with your email so whenever you are reading your email you can also take a moment to say hello to your friends.  This is definitely the best way for me.
• Birthdays and holidays – Make a special effort to remember these days.  Sometimes you might even spend them together, but if not then be sure to make a phonecall.

I purposely did not include social networking sites like Facebook because I don’t believe that these are ways to really maintain a friendship…in fact, I think they are the opposite.  If you are reading updates about someone’s life through a website then you will have no reason to actually contact them to ask important questions and catch up.  You probably know all about what they do everyday, but don’t actually have any personal interactions.  These are good for peripheral friendships, but not for your closest friends.

The main thing to remember is just that it only takes a few minutes out of every week to show a friend that you are thinking about them.  I know it’s super hard when you have the life happening around you to handle also, but close friendships are important to maintain in your life, even if they take a little extra effort.

Let me know if you have any special ways that you have maintained a long distance friendship that has lasted over the years…

Image: Flickr

Post from: Blisstree

How to Maintain Long Distance Friendships

I appreciated the email – it’s preferable to being blown off – but today I started thinking about it again. I sometimes over analyze things, but I’ve also been known to jump into something when I should take my time.  I was just in a very serious relationship and I’m not looking for something like that right now. I’d like to meet a nice guy for dinner, movies, hikes – fun stuff. I want to take my time getting to know someone.

This man, he is separated and getting serious about someone that he only met a few days ago. This gives the impression that he is someone who does not like to be alone. That may appeal to some people, but not to me.  I’m pretty independent.  Or maybe I’m not ready yet and I’m making excuses.

What do you think?  Does a man who isn’t even divorced yet, but decides to get serious about someone after only a few days set off any warning bells for you?  Is it possible that I dodged a bullet by going out of town to visit my family, rather than dating this guy?

Post from: Blisstree

Dating and Dodging Bullets

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This tip is for all patrons of online dating sites. It’s quite understandable when we get into this frenzy of creating profiles in all the free online dating sites we’d come across or putting up notices on online personals. The more places we can get our profiles accessible to other online daters, the better right? Right!

However, be careful not to spread yourself too much. You might reach a point wherein you might find it difficult to manage all these profiles/accounts you’ve created. Instead of connecting, you might end up missing the notes or pings sent your way.

So, be sure to always check for messages. Somewhat similar to regularly checking your email. Find ways to check them as efficiently and regularly as possible so you can timely respond and connect with a potential mate.

Remember, these messages can be a start of something bigger than online dating. Hmmm. Can you guess what that can be?

Post from: Blisstree

Quick Tip: Check For Messages

Courtship has been practiced in different countries, in various ways, for hundreds of years now. And one of the most romantic acts in my book is the old fashioned love letter on parchment.

People nowadays rely on getting hook ups in bars, clubs or wherever. The whole concept of “pursuit” has slowly becoming extinct. They call it “the chase” now and the goal isn’t really a commitment or a serious relationship but, er, something else. Faint are the traditions or practices, which usually accompanies courtship and that includes, writing love letters on parchment back and forth.

I loved the feeling when I first received a love letter back in highschool. What made it extra special was the fact that the sender was a guy I was crushing on at that time. It was sent under an unusual circumstance, which I really don’t want to get into but to cut it short, it didn’t end good. Ah, well — kids. LOL.

What really brought this on, though, is the memory of the last time I got a letter from a guy [I'm not entirely certain if it really was a love letter].

Holding the paper and seeing the inked hand-writing, caused a lump in my throat. Yea. It has to do something about feelings and stuff. Heh. But I had to approach it with a lighthearted demeanor simply because, like how it is traditionally, women aren’t suppose to make their affections known until the man has proven himself. Call me old fashion. Teehee.

Bottomline, though technology presents a lot of avenues for communication, like mobile calls or sms messaging or instant messaging, nothing beats love letters on parchment. It’s a lot more personal. You can be sure that the guy put in a considerable effort in producing such a letter — picture the scene in the movie, Kate & Leopold, wherein Hugh Jackman’s character wrote a letter of apology to Meg Ryan’s character. He used a quill! Wasn’t it romantic?

I’m simply refusing to accept that we’ve reached the end of the age for love letters. The idea makes me sad.

Your turn. How do you feel about sending and receiving love letters? Or do you just prefer hitting the send/receive button of your Outlook? Or perhaps you prefer brevity or mobility — and are more inclined towards instant or SMS messaging, respectively?

Post from: Blisstree

Where have all the love letters gone?

This powerful statement comes from Lance Mason, Founder of PickUp 101, during National Singles Week. As one world’s most sought after dating coaches for men, Mason flat out advises men never to buy a woman gifts (or even dinner) as a way to generate attraction, saying “It’s a loser strategy.”

Mason states that buying a woman gifts to win affection is not only absurd, it’s terrible advice, especially during National Singles Week. Mason believes that this kind of advice just feeds the myth that the way to a woman’s heart is by spending money on her. “I can teach any man to be more attractive to women.” Mason says confidently. “I can teach him how to get the women he desires attracted in less than 60 seconds, and he won’t have to spend a dime on her,” he adds.

Some of the other non-traditional teachings of Mason and my thoughts on those ideas are:

1. Never get a phone number! Get a date instead. If you can’t get a date when you are with her in person you can forget about convincing her on the phone days later.

I don’t agree with this statement.  There’s nothing I detest more than being put on the spot and face-to-face at that.  I think it’s important to see just how interested the guy is in calling the girl first (throw that three day rule out the freakin’ window already), get to know one another a bit and then set a date.  But to arrange a date upon first meeting, that’s just a bit too pushy to me!

2. Never ask a woman what she wants to do. Always lead. Women hate a man who’s wishy washy, but they will never tell you to your face. She just won’t return your calls anymore.

I don’t think it’s so much about asking her what SHE wants to do as it is about asking what she wants to do ALL the time!  Be creative!  Show the woman YOU have the ability to plan a date all on your own.  But certainly don’t discount the impression that asking her what she want’s once in a while will leave!

3. Never plan long dates. In fact the shorter the better while you are getting to know each other. This also makes it easier to do free things and not feel the pressure to spend money on her.

This is the only point I agree with.  It’s great if a planned ’short’ date turns into a long date, but don’t start off with that plan! 

I also find it an attractive quality when a man could impress me with a cheap or free date rather than going straight for the wooing with expensive dinners, etc.

It takes a great imagination to come up with a low cost date plan and that in turn shows that he has an imagination that will keep my attention on various other topics as well.

Granted, Lance has a few great points, but to categorize all men, women and their dates into one list of rules is just not possible.

Every date is going to be as unique as the individual.  While I agree that buying gifts early on in the relationship is a big fat NO NO ~ there are many women out there that identify a man’s interest by the gifts they receive.

That’s just my two cents and then some.

More on Lance Mason and PickUp 101

Post from: Blisstree

Dating Expert Warns Men Buying Gifts and Dinner is the Worst Way to Attract Women

The article does point out the obvious, that getting a phone number doesn’t always mean success – for several reasons that I find difficult to digest really, but they are solid reasons nonetheless.

The article goes on to draw on the successes of getting email addresses rather than phone numbers.  Given the technology possibilities of modern times, I’d have to say darn near everyone has access to email.  There are several positives to scoring a woman’s email address versus a phone number – the main one being what’s initially said can be carefully thought out and composed – avoiding all those initial meeting or conversational blunders.

So – ladies – I’d like to know what you think.  Hop over to Dr. Dating – check out the little guide at How to Get A Woman’s Phone Number And Email Address Within Three Minutes – read the complete article and instruction and let me know – if a man were to approach you in such a way, would you be likely to give him:

Your email address

Your phone number

Both

The cold shoulder

Have fun, be creative and perhaps shed a little light on just what’s the best approach when a man is hoping to score your contact information.

Post from: Blisstree

How To Get A Woman’s Phone Number And Email Address Within Three Minutes

Liz H. Kelly is a dating coach and author of “Smart Man Hunting: A Fast-Track Dating Guide for Finding Mr. Right.” Her proactive dating strategy has been featured on such shows as FOX News, BBC Radio, Dick Clark’s “The Other Half” and Lifetime’s “Speaking of Women’s Health.” Her dating tips have also appeared in Cosmopolitan, Glamour, USA Today and the Chicago Tribune. Look for Liz online at smartmanhunting.com.

Post from: Blisstree

10 email flirting questions