Looking back now at pictures of me then, I wonder what in the world was wrong with me.  Why didn’t I like the way I looked? Why didn’t I feel good in my own skin?

Poor self-esteem.

Many years later, after the birth of my son, I started gaining weight. I stopped stepping on the scale. I took down my full-length mirror. I hated to look at myself. I started viewing myself in a mirror that only showed my shoulders to the top of my head.

I started gaining weight. I kept eating and self-medicating myself with food. Something strange happened, though. During this time period, even though I was heavier than I’d ever been, I fell in love with myself.

I know that probably sounds weird, but there’s no other way to describe the transformation I underwent. As fat and unhealthy as I was, I slowly began learning several important things:

• To love myself for who I was, not for what I wanted to be.
• To stop trying to fit into the mold others wanted to put me in.
• To say no when I meant no, and yes when I meant yes.
• To live my life for me, and not according to what others expected of me.

Of course, even though I was going through a tremendous emotional change, I was also eating myself into oblivion. I remember the day I caught a glimpse of myself in a full-length mirror again. I was mortified. I didn’t look like ME.

I felt great. I loved myself (finally!). I was enjoying life again. But the woman matching my stare in the mirror definitely did not look like me. Once again, I found myself right back where I started–uncomfortable in my own skin. Only now I have the tools I need to change that for myself.

Roundtable:

• Do you like what you see when you look in the mirror?
• Is your weight reflective of how you feel about yourself?
• Have you noticed your weight going up/down in relation to where you are, mentally?

Post from: Blisstree

Do You Feel Good In Your Own Skin?