Scarlet, my actively online-dating friend, had another dating adventure this week. While visiting  “back home,” an older brother of a guy we grew up with made a tentative dinner date with her. They had previously chatted (briefly) on Singlesnet.com, but only in a friendly way, not flirty. She was not impressed with his inability to commit to a time or place.
Scarlet asked around and heard that he was “a pretty boy,” “too old,” and had “man boobs,” so when her mom hurt her wrist, she was presented with the perfect excuse to cancel the date. “Canceling” meant she just didn’t …read more

I posted in How To Succeed When Meeting the In-Laws about using rules about etiquette, that your parents drilled into your brain while growing up, when meeting your significant other’s family.  A lot of people don’t believe in etiquette anymore, but I think that it creates a set of standards to fall back on when you find yourself in new and awkward situation.
Etiquette is not something that should rule your life…Remember Countess Luann De Lesseps from Real Housewives of New York?  Now she took it too far.  But I do believe that there is a place for etiquette in relationships …read more

It goes without saying that weddings – and who we invite to them – are a personal thing, and no one really has the right to tell us what to do.
That said, when we are NOT invited to a wedding we really feel like we should have been invited to…what is our recourse?
Without going into a long and winding tale, an old friend of mine is getting married next month – a friend who as soon as he got into this current relationship, basically began to ONLY spend time with his girlfriend, and disappeared off the radar. So, to that …read more

It’s funny how etiquette changes. We tend to think of technology (and the Internet) as updating the way we communicate with people, but what about things like compliments. Has giving compliments really changed all that much?

When I first thought about this question my answer was “not really.” Then I spotted this article about giving compliments in the age of plastic surgery. I suppose walking up to someone and saying, “You look so much younger! Did you get a facelift?” probably isn’t going to win you any friends.
The women in this article said she went …read more

Finally! After much consternation and carping on my part about the lack of proper e-mail etiquette these days, comes music to my ears.
In the words of manners expert Letitia Baldridge in this week’s The New York Times Sunday Styles Section:
“…we need to have grace in our lives, and I’m not talking about heavenly grace. I’m talking about human grace…”
Ms. Baldridge is referring to how we compose, and more specifically how we sign-off on our e-mails.
Your salutation should be warm, friendly, appropriate to the situation or environment you are in…and above all it should be polite and friendly.
This article was …read more

When I was working in London, my boss once said to me “you are such a waif”.
I guess he meant that I was skinny…but for some reason, having worked in American offices, such a comment might have been considered unacceptable…and I took it as an insult.
Fast forward to today, a colleague of mine, who works for a HUGE, American bank, recently told me about a comment he had made, which his boss overheard.
I won’t say here what the comment was, for fear of insulting readers…but let’s just say that my colleague’s utterance included a color…which in American coloquilasim could mean …read more

Someone help me to understand something. HOW, in this age of communication overload — i.e., phones from which you can download music, movies..send (the obnoxious) text messages, oh–and make phone calls…it is possible for people to ignore you when you send them an e-mail??
This week, almost every person from whom I’ve needed information, answers, creative materials, bills, schedules or just a simple “hiya”, has not returned my e-mails. I swear I can hear the crickets chirping, it is so quiet out there.
It tells me that those who do not return my communiques, believe their time is more important than mine. …read more