Scarlet asked around and heard that he was “a pretty boy,” “too old,” and had “man boobs,” so when her mom hurt her wrist, she was presented with the perfect excuse to cancel the date. “Canceling” meant she just didn’t call him back.

He called her the next day with a “Thanks a lot, you missed a wonderful time at the lake,” which was funny because he never invited her to the lake in the first place. He must have been confusing her with a different date.

She swore off online dating again, as in “Michelle I am so done with that,” and then some guy from her list of Facebook friends asked her out. What is this woman’s secret?  Every time she turns around, she gets asked out. And I mean that literally, as one of the men who asked her out did so after driving by her in a parking lot – she was chatting with coworkers and he liked her ass.

Here’s what she has to say about the cancelation, “I did not want to be a hook up. Man boobs aside, a man should make a date-date, not a ‘call me and we’ll hook up,’ offer. If a man wants to date you, he puts more effort into it than that. ”

That makes a lot of sense to me. Good manners go a long way toward making the right impression.

Image credit: Michelle Smith

Post from: Blisstree

Manners and Pretty Boys

Etiquette is not something that should rule your life…Remember Countess Luann De Lesseps from Real Housewives of New York?  Now she took it too far.  But I do believe that there is a place for etiquette in relationships and you just need to find where that is.

Again, I strongly believe that etiquette lends its support when you find yourself in awkward situations.  Here are Dr. Phil’s Seven Keys to Dating Etiquette:

1.  Dress the part. Don’t dress too sexy.

2.  Be on time or your date might wonder, “What was more important than getting here on time?”

3.  Mind your table manners — and if you don’t have any, get some!

4.  Focus 100 percent on your date. Turn off your cell phone and other messaging devices.

5.  Check your emotional baggage at the door. Don’t go burdening your date with all of your problems.

6.  Sweat the small stuff. Listen to what your prospective mate has to say.

7.  Follow up. Do something that let’s your date know, “Hey, that was a lot of fun.”

Post from: Blisstree

Dating Etiquette Tips from Dr. Phil

That said, when we are NOT invited to a wedding we really feel like we should have been invited to…what is our recourse?

Without going into a long and winding tale, an old friend of mine is getting married next month – a friend who as soon as he got into this current relationship, basically began to ONLY spend time with his girlfriend, and disappeared off the radar. So, to that end, we’ve hardly spoken in a year…but before that, would talk all the time, and never had a falling out or any complications of any sort.

All our mutual friends are invited to the wedding. Every last one. And so, my not being invited feels almost like an exclusion, more than simply a matter of numbers.

The wedding will be really small, it’s to be a brunch held in the garden of a nearby restaurant, and so, numbers are limited, to be sure. The mutual friends are closer – my best friend is also friends with the bride, and the other friends have known him longer and better.

I may not have a leg to stand on, and in fact, I realize I have no right to complain – but I still feel just sad! Like it’s high school again, and I was the only one not invited to the cool afterprom party.

Alas.

Image: Sxc.hu

Post from: Blisstree

Where’s My Invite?

When I first thought about this question my answer was “not really.” Then I spotted this article about giving compliments in the age of plastic surgery. I suppose walking up to someone and saying, “You look so much younger! Did you get a facelift?” probably isn’t going to win you any friends.

The women in this article said she went from an “A” to a “C” cup and now people come up to her and tell her “nice boobs.” Harsh.

And yet sometimes I see people on TV and wonder how far they really want to go with plastic surgery. You see some celebrity and they look so completely overdone that it does illicit a shocking response. But when you see someone in person, you have to remember your manners. The article recommends keeping all the questions to yourself unless the person in question brings it up themselves, and even then, don’t just blurt out some comment like, “Are they real?”

But you can still wonder silently!

Image: sxc.hu.

Post from: Blisstree

Etiquette in the Age of Plastic Surgery

Finally! After much consternation and carping on my part about the lack of proper e-mail etiquette these days, comes music to my ears.

In the words of manners expert Letitia Baldridge in this week’s The New York Times Sunday Styles Section:

“…we need to have grace in our lives, and I’m not talking about heavenly grace. I’m talking about human grace…”

Ms. Baldridge is referring to how we compose, and more specifically how we sign-off on our e-mails.

Your salutation should be warm, friendly, appropriate to the situation or environment you are in…and above all it should be polite and friendly.

This article was helpful for me…I am sometimes guilty of ending my notes with the cold and rushed-sounding “Best, Kim.”

From now on, no matter how busy I am, recipients will receive a “Warm regards, Kim”. Unless I’m mad at you…:).

And if you’d like a more expansive understanding of online etiquette, visit NetManners.com.

Post from: Blisstree

Manners and Protocol For Modern Day Correpondence.

I guess he meant that I was skinny…but for some reason, having worked in American offices, such a comment might have been considered unacceptable…and I took it as an insult.

Fast forward to today, a colleague of mine, who works for a HUGE, American bank, recently told me about a comment he had made, which his boss overheard.

I won’t say here what the comment was, for fear of insulting readers…but let’s just say that my colleague’s utterance included a color…which in American coloquilasim could mean cowardice.

And when he told me what he’d said, I bowed my head in utter disbelief.

Not at his actual comment because I knew what the joke was supposed to mean. — It was more his misjudgement in his choice of words…and also the fact that he didn’t seem to understand who was around him when he said it.

It was a slip up…he is not racist, nor is he a biggot…but he took it for granted that everyone in the office would understand his joke in the way that HE thought it was intended.

(Someone else in his office was scared of something that had to get done.)

I have to imagine this particular term came into being during an ugly period in American history.

My colleague’s boss advised him, in one of the best ways that you can respond to such a miscalculation in ethnic etiquette: “Please be aware of where you are.”

I guess my point is that I understand how difficult it is in today’s work place to understand and to be sensitive to every cultural and ethnic point of view, but we (Americans) have to try to be more intelligent and caring.

Post from: Blisstree

How To Insult Your Colleagues.

This week, almost every person from whom I’ve needed information, answers, creative materials, bills, schedules or just a simple “hiya”, has not returned my e-mails. I swear I can hear the crickets chirping, it is so quiet out there.

It tells me that those who do not return my communiques, believe their time is more important than mine. Or…that my messages are just plain dull.

I understand that we are smothered by communication all day long…but in business, if someone takes the time to send you a note…you must reply.

And I don’t mean…”hi.” I mean a thoughtful response that a) acknowledges your request or observation or whatEVER. b) provides solutions or insight in an effort to keep a project moving forward.

It’s just good etiquette.

Post from: Blisstree

E-mail ettiquette