“What really is behind a temper outburst? A temper explosion is not something that just blows up out of nowhere, a storm without a cause. It is actually a surface manifestation of inner hostility, of the emotions we often call ‘resentments’ in AA. I’ve learned that I am subject to moments of rage only if I allow myself to wallow around in a swamp of resentful, self-pitying thoughts. It is easy to become outwardly angry, for example, when I have spent several hours thinking about past mistakes, or going over how badly someone treated me in the past. I can also become angry over rejections or setbacks, or just about anything that threatens my security. I find, too, that considerable surface anger can be generated by reading or hearing things that arouse my indignation.”

I can identify with this completely.

That “split-second” fuse they told me about when I lost my temper existed because I gave the thing that I resented so much continuous, hopeless, thought. I couldn’t change it yet I thought somehow, some way, I could do something about it. Like, my father. Didn’t change him in the least. Nor did it change all those bosses. And it never changed my wife. Never changed the finances or the electric company either.

Working on changing my thinking changed something – me. I’d love to wish I could go back and fix all those things but my thinking has changed. Today I understand I can’t change the past and there’s a good reason for that.

“Be still and know He is God.”

Post from: Blisstree

Anger and Wrong Thinking – Partners

God, keep me from thinking I must share in every meeting, no matter the topic. Keep my mind free from the recital of endless details and give me wings to get to the point. Remind me to guard confidences and to keep still when I feel it is necessary to speak up for someone’s own good.

Release me from the need to straighten out everybody else’s thinking and program. God, I ask for the grace to listen to newcomers. Please help me to remember the patience with which others listened to me when I was new.

Please seal my lips to giving advice, and help me to remember to share only my experience, strength, and hope.

Remind me that my purpose is to fit myself to be of maximum service to You and to the people around me. Help me to remain teachable. Teach me (again) the lesson that, occasionally, it is possible that I may be wrong; and remind me, please, of the freedom that I gain when I am able to promptly admit I am wrong and make amends when necessary.

Help me to remember the difference between making amends and just saying, “I am sorry.” Help me to be a worker among workers, a friend among friends. Please keep me from being a bleeding deacon, and help me to walk the path towards being an elder statesman/stateswoman. Keep me ever mindful that I cannot manage my own life through my own unaided will. I know that I am not a saint; please show me the way to seek You so that I may continue to grow along spiritual lines.

Remind me, please, of Rule 62 to not take myself so damn seriously (It is so easy to take myself way too seriously). Keep me free of gossip, character assassination, and judgment. Remind me that I am not perfect (even though I have humbly asked that my character defects be removed) and shortcomings still arise unexpectedly, to cause damage to others and to myself.

Help me to walk with faith and acceptance, to see good things in unexpected places and talents in unexpected people, and give me the grace to tell them so.

Help me to see that You love each of Your children, and that You do not need my opinion of them or suggestions on what they might deserve.

Thank You very much. Amen.

[Source currently unknown at posting. If you know the source, please pass that info on in the comments. Thanks]

Post from: Blisstree

Old-Timers Prayer

Why?

I think the last paragraph of the preface of the Fourth Edition says it well;

“All changes made over the years in the Big Book (A.A. members’ fond nickname for this volume) have had the same purpose: to represent the current membership of Alcoholics Anonymous more accurately, and thereby to reach more alcoholics. If you have a drinking problem, we hope that you may pause in reading one of the forty-two personal stories and think: “Yes, that happened to me”; or, more important, “Yes, I’ve felt like that”; or, most important, “Yes, I believe this program can work for me too.”

We’ll be waiting for you…

Post from: Blisstree

Yes, That’s Me

From Chap. 11 “A Vision For You”

“For most normal folks, drinking means conviviality, companionship and colorful imagination.

It means release from care, boredom and worry. It is joyous intimacy with friends and a feeling that life is good. But not so with us in those last days of heavy drinking. The old pleasures were gone. They were but memories. Never could we recapture the past. There was an insistent yearning to enjoy life as we once did and a heartbreaking obsession that some new miracle of control would enable us to do it. There was always one more attempt – and one more failure.”

I might add – ad infinitum… the failures seemed to be neverending themselves.

I’d like to suggest that if your drinking is no longer convivial, if your drinking has chased all your companions away, if your imagination is as exciting as a pet rock, you might not be “normal” and you might have a problem with booze.

There is a way out! BTW – Normal? It’s a setting on a washing machine…

Post from: Blisstree

Normal? What The Hell Is Normal???

9) “Keep that phone running hot. Other alkies are feeling as restless as you during the festive season. They will appreciate a ‘how are you doing?’ call just as much as you will appreciate talking to them.”

Please, make sure you put them on silent mode or vibrate during meetings, okay? But keep your phone charged at all times for the next week or so!

Funny – I never thought I’d be hooked up to the world 24/7 yet I am today. And it can be irritating especially when you self-centered alkies want to talk at the same time my boss wants some work out of me but it remains my lifeline. So I make sure it is charged every day when I leave home.

How many of you remember when we used to tape a quarter on the back of the white chips we gave out at beginner’s meetings? I’ll bet there are those of you who remember quarters being dimes eh? Then we told the newcomer to put their sponsor’s phone number on the other side.

And it worked…

Post from: Blisstree

Tips For A Sober and Joyous Holiday Season – Keep ‘Em Hot and Charged!

If you do attend a drinking occasion, watch your drink. People who do not understand alcoholism may think it is “funny” to put something in your drink. Hold onto it or keep it where you can see it. After a few years of practice, I have finally discovered that I can actually survive for long periods at a party without having a drink of any sort in my hand! These days, I get a drink if I am thirsty, drink it, and put the glass down. I do not have to wander round holding the damn glass all night these days!

Get your own.

Post from: Blisstree

Tips For A Sober and Joyous Holiday Season – Constant Vigilance

7) You may need more meetings in the festive season than you ordinarily do to remain on an even keel. I certainly do. Plan this ahead, particularly if you are traveling to somewhere you do not ordinarily attend meetings. Know ahead of time where the meetings are, have a detailed map that shows the location of the meeting, and know how you are going to get there. Don’t bet your life on a meeting that may be closed on Christmas Day. If you are going from the city to a country town, obtain a detailed map: street signs are going to be a bit thin on the ground, and street numbers may not be there at all. Similarly, whereas the public transport is frequent and reliable in a city, you may have to make other arrangements in rural areas. Whatever arrangements you make, be careful about accepting family promises to drive you to meetings. They may not understand that your life may depend on you getting to a meeting NOW, not “tomorrow.”

I believe this is one case where God will not chuckle if you make plans.

Post from: Blisstree

Tips For A Sober and Joyous Holiday Season – Be Prepared In Strange Territory

Would you like some kind of special recognition? Allow someone to clue you in (because obviously you don’t have a clue), you’re simply not that important!

That’s right! If you noticed, as you strolled into the meeting, we’d already begun without you… so, no, we didn’t need your presence in order to start this meeting.

Now that you’re here – do the newcomer a huge favor, okay? Don’t shuffle your chair around or whisper to your buddy. The readings are being read and the newcomer is trying to listen. You wouldn’t want the newcomer to miss something that might help them stay sober today on your sorry account, would you?

And you want respect…

Post from: Blisstree

Sorry I’m Late

6) The only people who will persist with offers of drinks are people who have a problem. Often, it is the problem that you and I know a bit about. Try this four-stage fall-back when someone persists:

• “No thanks”
• “No thanks, I don’t want one.”
• “Look, I have told you twice already I do not want a drink.”
• “I can’t understand why you are so interested in whether or not I am drinking-you don’t have a problem with the booze, do you?”

Trust me, that will be the last you hear of them. Whatever you do, do not explain. That only makes them worse. You may have already discovered that social drinkers cannot understand our explanations of alcoholism. That is because those explanations are not true for them. Their bodies do not react the same way to the infusion of alcohol that ours do. Whatever we say about drinking can never make any sense to social drinkers, because their bodies just don’t work that way. For the same reason, when they are talking about what they call “drinking”, They’re talking about one or two glasses of booze. They’re not talking about the three-week blackout that many of us describe as “a little drink.”

“No, I’m starting to feel it.” That’s what a social drinker tells the bartender when they ask if they want another. Did you ever tell a bartender, “No, I’m starting to feel it?” I thought not…

Post from: Blisstree

Tips For A Sober and Joyous Holiday Season – I’m Not A Social Drinker

5) You do not have to EXPLAIN that you are not drinking. After a few years now, I am getting quite good at this. At the works Christmas party, only ONE person asked me if I would like a drink (he was on his way to the bar and offered to get me one). I said “No thanks” and he carried on without another word. The trick is to say “No thanks” in a firm, neutral voice. If you sound nervous or uncertain, social drinkers think you are asking them to talk you into having a drink, so they will try. If you simply say “No” firmly, in a neutral tone, they will accept that you know your own mind (if only they knew…) and not raise the subject again.

Of course, the wisest thing to do if at all possible, is to not go to the company’s Christmas party. BTW – what is a social drinker? I don’t know – never was one…

[Remember to know your own glass!]

Post from: Blisstree

Tips For A Sober and Joyous Holiday Season – No Explanations Required