Gossip Image: sxc.hu

There may be nothing wrong with the e-mail, but has more private details than you feel the world should know.  It also has the potential of offending any people you may have mentioned.

Some people have no qualms about airing their clean and dirty laundry, their innermost feelings, family secrets, their financial challenges on social sites where the whole world has access.  Even if you’ve only admitted specific people as your friends, posting to them, replying to them expands the circle of people who have access to your information.  Also, those friends may decide to make it more public without your permission.

So…teach your children that if they want privacy, they need to be very careful about what they post and to whom they post.  Young people, as well as older, don’t seem to realize the ramifications of the Internet and how it can spread information you don’t want made public or in the way you may have expressed it to a close friend or relative.

The same goes for text messaging.  You may find that someone is posting your private texts to them on social media.  They simply want to share, but perhaps it isn’t something you want shared with everyone.  They really should ask your permission because, by copyright law, you own what you wrote and pictures you took.  However, most people are ignorant of this.

The lesson seems to be….THINK before you write to ANYONE or post anything.  What you write and pictures you take may reach the world without you wanting them to.

Post from: Blisstree

Privacy No Longer Private on the Internet

I was one of the last people to jump on board the facebook train.

My profile picture was the question mark for about a year before I let the social media world know what I actually looked like.  At first I really didn’t care much for the site. I would randomly check in, seldom comment on anything and almost never update my status.

Then, it happened.

I discovered that my ex-boyfriend was on facebook.

flickr

We had a bad breakup and did not remain friends, which was one hundred percent my call.  We had one of those tumultuous on and off relationships that ran on for about a year too long before I finally mustered up the nerve to cut him off, cold turkey.  I could’ve used an intervention.  Yes, he was my addiction.

It had been a while since I’d even thought about him, but then there he was writing on a mutual friend’s wall, his shiny profile pic with him and some mystery girl smiling into the camera.

I wear my emotions out there for the whole world to see.  Seriously.  I’m really bad at pretending that I am okay when I’m not.  I have no emotional poker face.  I didn’t need a mirror to know that my face instantly flushed red.  My heart actually started hammering; vibrating my chest and pounding in my ears before plummeting straight into my stomach.

It was like being hit by a truck.

I wish that I could say that I just brushed it off.  That I simply logged off and went about my day.  But that was not the case.  I logged in, probably twenty times a day and all of a sudden I found it very important that I have a profile picture up, that I had some masterful status that would showcase that not only am I happy without him but that
I’m having fun and have a great career and guys are all over me and I’m hilarious and irresistible all wrapped into one.  Not an easy feat, by the way.

This might be old news to you.   You’ve probably facebook stalked a person or two in your time, checking to see who writes on their wall, what their status is and what they are commenting on, etc

But have you ever stalked someone that you didn’t even have as a friend?!

It was seriously the ultimate low in my life.  Looking at his friends list to see who he was friends with, going through their pictures to see what he’s doing and more importantly who he’s dating.

Sure, it would have been nice to see if he got fat or something, but it was the girl that I was interested in.  What is with us girls and being so competitive?  And to top it all off, I was the one who ended it with him.  Why did I even care?

Well, the good news is that I eventually did stop caring.  And the addiction went away, but just like I had to quit him, I had to give up facebook cold turkey.  Just completely cut it off.  No random pokes to people or quick looks at my inbox.  Nothing!

And I just want to put this out there that I think this generation has the hardest time when it comes to dating.  Sure there are countless dating sites and social networks and it just seems that there is a limitless supply of ways to meet new people.  But with all those outlets, just comes more ways to be rejected.  If he doesn’t call you, he can
always email you. Or send you a facebook message or write on your wall or even tweet you! What if he doesn’t do any of those things?  Then you’ve just been phased out in like, ten different ways!  It never ends!

And it’s just more ways to see what your ex is up to, too.  It’s almost impossible for this generation to successfully move on from relationships.  One cannot be blissful without being ignorant, and I would just rather be ignorant to all of my exes love lives, thank you very much.

Moving on, I still have a very love – hate relationship with “the book”.  Almost every day I grapple with completely taking down my entire profile and am always openly envious when I hear that someone has actually mustered up the courage to do it.  I’ve changed my name and still rarely update my status.  My privacy settings restrict all of my pictures and videos and no one can see whose wall I’m writing on.  So, tell me… what is the point in even having it?

I’m fully over stalking people and I really don’t care about what other people are doing, so what is keeping me there?

Seriously, I think facebook is my new addiction.  I’m in a relationship with it.  But, how do I break up with it?

Post from: Blisstree

“In a Relationship” with Facebook

If you’ve entertained thoughts of reconnecting with a love from your past, here are some things to think about.

*What is your motivation?  Also important – how healthy was your relationship? Don’t proceed unless there’s a chance for something positive. Nobody wants to re-live a bad relationship.

*Make sure he’s single before making any sort of romantic overture. In fact, I’d go so far as to say, make sure he’s been single for awhile.

*Start slow. I think that’s good advice for any new relationship. Dating an ex is not like dating someone new. It’s very easy to feel comfortable and speed things up. Be careful.

*Talk about old times to test the waters. Is the spark still there? Yes?  Good, but remember, be careful. Cosmo says, “…take it slow and trust your gut.”

To read the entire article, click here.

Image credit: Michelle Smith

Post from: Blisstree

Should You Reconnect With An Ex?

When I was in college, the Internet was just catching on. There was no Facebook to contend with. I was able to date Facebook-free. It seems less complicated, right?

New research published in CyberPsychology & Behavior says that the more college students hang out on Facebook, the more likely they are to feel jealousy toward romantic partners. Researchers found that students who spent time on sites like Facebook could be exposed to tidbits of info about their partners that makes them jealous. That jealousy may lead users to spend additional time on “online surveillance” to find out even more information that may provoke jealousy.

Sounds like a mean cycle uncovered by researchers Amy Muise, Emily Christofides and Serge Desmarais from the University of Guelph in Ontario, Canada.

Dr. Brenda K. Wiederhold, Editor-in-Chief of CyberPsychology & Behavior says that this research on college-aged people provides a good starting point to look at how social networking sites may affect other adult relationships as well.

(Image via stock.xchng)

Post from: Blisstree

Facebook Cause of Relationship Jealousy?

A Petland employee in Akron, Ohio, has been let go from her job at the nationwide pet store chain after allegedly drowning a pair of rabbits in a back room of the store, and then posting the pictures to her Facebook.

Elizabeth Carlisle is shown in the picture holding up two wet, dead rabbits with a big smile plastered on her face. Who took the picture? Her manager, of course. Carlisle wrote in her Facebook:

“[T]he manager took the pic for me. [S]he reminded me that there were people outside as [I] was swearing at them to just hurry up and die but then she was so kind as to take this picture.”

After being questioned by a friend, the charming Carlisle posted that the reason they killed the rabbits was because they had been allowed to “attack and eat each other” while in the store’s care.

Petland confirmed the reports in a press release and closed down the Akron store indefinitely (WARNING: news story has an image of Carlisle holding up the dead rabbits) after all the animals were removed and Carlisle was fired:

“Petland is saddened and outraged at this gross violation of Petland’s animal care standards. It is Petland’s understanding that the employee was instructed to contact the store’s consulting veterinarian, and instead, defied the orders and store policy and acted on her own. She was immediately dismissed and the case is now being handled by local law enforcement.”

Carlisle is currently facing animal cruelty charges and will appear in Akron Municipal Court on August 17th.

Petland has also been under fire for years over accusations that their puppies come from puppy mills.

[image: flickr]

Post from: Blisstree

Petland Employee Fired for Animal Cruelty

Dogtime.com has set up their own Facebook application to make it even easier and more convenient for people to “donate” to their cause.

The Dogtime.com site itself is a great resource for finding a dog to adopt, and even offers sections and articles on things like dog training, dog breed info, and even free e-cards and coupons and sample offers.

Dogtime’s Facebook application, called Save A Dog, furthers their welfare practices, letting users earn points that can be redeemed for real food for real shelter dogs.

The application costs nothing to use and aside from a little bit of time requires no other donation.

[image: flickr]

Post from: Blisstree

Use Facebook to Save a Dog

Bil-Jac has been collecting hundreds of entry photos for the contest since May via Facebook and Twitter, which were then carefully pared down to 12 finalists by Bil-Jac.

The winner of the photo contest will win a one-month-for-a-year supply of dog food from Bil-Jac and three online coaching sessions from celebrity dog trainer Joel Silverman. The runner-up will win a six-month supply of dog food and the third place winner will receive one month’s supply.

To participate in the contest, simply visit Bil-Jac’s Facebook fan page and click on the Photo Contest bookmark. You can then vote for your favorite picture once per day until July 31.

[image used with permission from bil-jac.com]

Post from: Blisstree

The Cutest Dog on Facebook Contest

I’ve really enjoyed getting to know Diane again through Facebook. We went to school together (7-9th grades) until I moved to Southern California to live with my dad. When I moved back to town, she moved North to the Pacific Northwest, where she still lives today.

Diane has the cutest grandbabies and when she’s not busy with them, she enjoys cooking and tutoring kids with Dyslexia. If you know someone who could use some guidance with their Dyslexia, Diane recommends checking out Bright Solutions for Dyslexia.

Miso Salad

* 3- 4 cups shredded Napa cabbage
* 1 large cucumber – julienne
* ½ c. Daikon (type of Japanese radish, I found it a winco) optional
* 2 c. Edamame (frozen works well)
* 1 – 2 c. carrots – shredded
* ½ c. red cabbage – shredded
* 2 green onions – chopped
* ½ c. cilantro – chopped
* 2 fresh avocados – diced
* 1 c. Crispy wonton strips (cut up wonton wraps about 6 or so and fry in oil, drain before adding)
* Miso dressing (Red Shell brand recommended)

Combine napa cabbage, cucumber, daikon, edamame, carrots, red cabbage, green onions, cilantro and refrigerate. Before serving add miso dressing and then fold in wontons and avocado. I added some kosher salt to taste.

Good with grilled chicken or blue crab & shrimp (my favorite), or just vegetarian.

Image credit: Sxc.hu

Post from: Blisstree

Diane’s Miso Salad

The article mentions athletic draftees being spied on by potential teams and players forced to leave groups that are deemed controversial. A couple of months ago, I wrote about my new and my ex-boyfriend.  An old friend of both of them took offense with my post. He found it to be “inappropriate” for me to write about them. I told him that writing about relationships was part of my job and the relationship that I was most likely to write about was my own. I was as friendly and respectful as possible – I wanted to be “breezy” about it. 

He de-friended me.  I was not sorry to see him go, as I had talked myself into being open-minded about this guy after something that happened when we were teenagers anyway. I’m of the opinion that he is an ass, but my boyfriend has been friends with him for many, many years, so I know that I’ll have to spend time with him at some point in the future.  I don’t want my boyfriend to be affected by our silliness.

Would this be considered a Facebook Flap, as well?

Post from: Blisstree

Facebook Flap

He is currently back with his ex, who is the mother of his youngest child. They were split for a long time, most of two years, unless of course, they were not and he just said that they were. I would not have known the difference – we live in different states and he was the one who traveled to visit me.

He has her listed as “complicated” on Facebook. Not “in a relationship with.” Just “complicated.”  I think that sucks. Either do it or don’t. Doesn’t she deserve that?

I spent almost a year of our relationship waiting on him. He’d disappear every once in awhile, then come back and be fine. It was confusing and depressing and I think I drove everyone who loves me crazy by putting up with him.

I recently read the book, He’s Just Not That Into You, by Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo. I read it at a point when I had not heard from him for a few months. I wanted to let go, but for some weird reason, I could not. The book opened my eyes.

It’s very simple really. If he does not call you, he’s not into you. If he does not pursue you, he’s not into you. If you have to make excuses for him, he’s not into you. If you have to put any sort of extra effort in and he does not immediately fall all over you, then he is not into you. If he says, “it’s complicated,” then he’s not into you.

I wish that the book was required ready for all women, everywhere. I found it that helpful. And there’s this sense of peace in knowing that yeah, it really IS him and he’s a bit of a jerk. Well, actually, to use my ex-boyfriend’s own words when finally apologizing for his behavior, he’s “a creep.”

If you or anyone you know is in love with a man who is rude or absent or just plain destructive to a woman’s soul, then read this book, because if a man is into you, he’s not going to hurt you. He is going to move heaven and Earth to be with you and you will definitely be sure of his feelings.

Image credit: Barnes and Noble.com

Post from: Blisstree

I Think He’s Just Not That Into Her