I believe that it was in January that I stated I would tell you all The Bebe’s name once we were out of Family Court and had the DNA results. It looks like it is finally that time. And, to be honest, all I want to do right now is breathe a sigh of relief, as we were kicked out of Family Court and sent back in after getting a new document.

But, all is well now in Guatemala. we are finally in PGN and awaiting a interview with the birth mother, one of the new requirements with the new officials. According to the Guatemalan Law it looks like they are not supposed to be able to imposed new restrictions but are choosing to do so anyway.

I understand that they want to insure the children and birth mothers are being treated fairly but it seems all so superficial to me, as if they are trying to create problems that really are not there.

Post from: Blisstree

The Name? Oh, That…

My “unofficial sources” (meaning list serves and other adoptive parents) are telling me that Birth Mother and Foster Mother interviews have already been scheduled and will be conducted according to entry date into PGN.

Apparently, grandfathered cases are not being processed under the old adoption process but rather being scrutinized however the new officials want to.

But, according to some adoptive parents, the birth mother simply has to come for a third sign-off (and interview) that is scheduled by the court and that PGN is actually moving quickly.

There is also speculation that PGN workers are creating this delay because once the grandfathered cases are all through there will be little work for them and many will be out of jobs. However, some also state that most of the original PGN workers have been replaced due to corruption.

 Note: At this time I have not had any official word from my agency. They tend to hold back until they have ALL of the pieces together so that they can give the right information.

Post from: Blisstree

Birth Mother Interviews Scheduled in Guatemala

I do hope that this is simply media farce but I know that sometimes this can be all too real. Media tends to over examine events like this and make it into a mass hysteria event for ratings and page views. At this point our agency has not heard anything about a suspension and there are only two media reports so I don’t even know if this is real.  Please read this post with an objective mind and do some more research of your own before you “freak out”.We were told last week (via our representative in Guatemala who specifically went to PGN to confirm) that Guatemalan officials would not close or suspend adoptions because they wanted to proceed with adoptions plans. However, this morning, officials state that they want to suspend adoptions for at least a month to review paperwork of all pending adoptions. They are specifically looking for irregularities in paperwork.

I understand that Guatemala officials want to ensure that cases are official and that their children are protected but do they really have to shut the entire process down? Why can’t they simply double check each case as it passes through PGN? Then, after all cases have been processed through PGN they can halt all adoptions and facilitate an entirely new adoption process with safeguards for their birth mothers and children.

To me, that makes sense because no children get stuck in the system, waiting in foster care for their families.

Here is the Guatemalan paper, Prensa Libre.

On a Side Note

For all of you waiting to bring your children home please remember that this is absolutely NOT your agency’s fault and please don’t hound them to get something done, as they can’t really do anything. Please don’t make their job any harder than it is to bring you information and help you through the process. Allow them to gather information and do their jobs…vent on your own time, not to them.

Post from: Blisstree

Guatemala Adoptions Halted?

The new Attorney General Baudilio Protillo Merlos took over on April 24, 2008. The new Sub Attorney General is Flory de De Leon. Apparently de De Leon is holding off making any critical Constitutional Court rules and Merlos has requested an audit of in process cases.

So, what does this all mean?  Cases that were ready to go will be delayed.

Additionally, PGN  is on hold until agreements are settled. See Guatadopt for meeting updates.

Currently, our case is in Family Court. It got reviewed and kicked out for a Certificate of Citizenship paper. Our representative/lawyer got the requested document and resubmitted the case to the same court so we hope that it will end quickly and we will be on to PGN.

Post from: Blisstree

Guatemala in Trouble Too?

Prospective adoptive parents must receive receipt of “pre-approval” from the Department of Homeland Security’s U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Services (DHS/USCIS) office in Guatemala before their attorney can submit their dossier to the Guatemalan authorities. After obtaining clearance from a social worker under the supervision of a family court to proceed with a potential adoption case, the attorney submits the case to the Guatemalan Solicitor General’s Office (Procuradoría General de la Nación, PGN) for review.

So, now that we are close to the end of our DNA and Family Court…any ideas on what his name is?

Post from: Blisstree

What Do You Think His Name Is?

The Bebe is three months old now and 12 pounds and 60 cm so it seems that he is just about 50% across the board according to US standards. Interestingly, this makes him a rather large Guatemalan baby.

Typical head circumference for Guatemalan boys is different than US children. If our son has a circumference of 39.7 he falls into the 50th percentile, which is typical for Guatemalan children.

Adoptmed.org has a fabulous site for growth charts from several countries.

We are still waiting for Family Court to finish, as the social worker in Guatemala is still working on it. And, we are still waiting for DNA to finish with the US Embassy. After that we will enter PGN.

Post from: Blisstree

Bebe Update!

The attorney presents all documents, photos, and medical test results to the US Embassy.

·         The Embassy reviews the file and gives approval for the DNA testing, which is carried out by authorized medical personnel and analyzed by an approved laboratory in the US, under strict chain of custody procedures. 

·         The birth mother and child are escorted to the embassy-approved doctor where their identities are verified and saliva samples are collected for DNA analysis.  The child’s thumbprint is taken and put into the adoption case file.  To verify the child’s identity, US Embassy personnel compare this thumbprint to those taken when the birth was registered or when the birth mother signed custody of the child to the attorney. The birth mother’s identity is verified through her original cedula (photo identification card), a photocopy of which was entered in the adoption case file at the time the birth mother relinquished custody of the child to the attorney. The birth mother’s thumbprints are also taken. A polaroid photograph is taken of the birth mother holding the child on her lap and is attached to the DNA file. The birth mother and foster mother sign forms attesting to their identities, and the birth mother signs her consent for the DNA analysis.

·         The laboratory sends a copy of the DNA test results (with photos) directly to the US Embassy in Guatemala, and to the adoptive parents and adoption agency.

·         The US Embassy reviews the test results and all supporting documentation. If all documents are in order, the US Embassy/BCIS provides the attorney with the Consentimiento (consent form), which is required before the PGN will authorize the attorney to prepare the final adoption decree.

We are now waiting for the Family Court documents to be finalized (if you read last week’s post the Birth Mother attended family court last week). I can’t imagine how hard that was for her…seeing her child again, officially relinquishing him, telling her story to a social worker? She even took (perhaps) a picture with him to send to us…for him to have. My only hope is that she had someone with her to comfort her and to offer her peace. In my heart I hope that it was his birth father (so that he could at least see him, smell him, touch him) but I know that life is not always like that.

From Guatadopt:

The Family Court social worker reviews the dossier, interviews the birth mother, schedules appointments with the birth mother and foster family, and may visit the child in foster care or the orphanage. During the interview with the birth mother, the social worker explains that: (a) the adoption is irrevocable, (b) she will lose the patria potestas and guardianship of her child, and (c) she may never see the child after the adoption is final. The social worker asks the birth mother if anyone in her family can care for the child, and determines if the birth mother has voluntarily, freely, definitively, and irrevocably granted her express consent for her child to be adopted. The social worker writes a report that summarizes the facts of the case and attests to the birth mother’s reasons for deciding that she cannot parent the child. In most cases, the social worker recommends that the Family Court judge approve the adoption. The court reviews the social worker’s report and makes its rrecommendation. The birth mother appears before the notary and signs her second consent to place her child for adoption.

We know that The Bebe’s birth mother did attend family court, that she did sign her second consent to place him for adoption, and that the DNA is a 99.9 percent match. On our end, the news is good; the process is moving right along and we can’t wait to welcome him into our home.

On her end? I don’t know how that feels but this triad is bittersweet.

Post from: Blisstree

99.9 Percent, a DNA Match, and a Bittersweet Triad

Adoption, relinquishment, loss, abandonment, neglect, abuse, are full of grief.

Infertility and miscarriage are full of grief.

And no one type of grief can trump the other. 

I have read so many posts (and I’m not going to link them) and angry and hurtful comments this past week and I am ashamed at some of the words people have said to each other. The kinds of things that people will write because they can’t see the hurt in each other’s eyes or hear the anguish in their voices when they talk about relinquishing their child or having social services take him away, or they don’t know what it is like to never be able to conceive, or they have never experienced a miscarriage (or 6), or they have never been told their child has been “given” to someone else.

I have lived through the grief of infertility and it sucked. And I have seen and felt the grief of my own son. And that was even harder. He has still not come to terms with his own birth mother issues (and I certainly don’t expect him to at 4 years old) and we have learned that we can not talk about his Russia Mama (we can only talk fleetingly about Russia).

However, I can’t imagine what it would be like to make an adoption plan for a child and I don’t understand how other people can trivialize it or dwindle it down to the “see ya, have a good life” mentality that  the movie Juno seems to have done (note: still have not seen it…just going off of reviews). And I can’t even imagine AJ’s birth mother never thinking about him or The Bebe’s birth mother never thinking about him (who is with him this very day in Family Court). How could that EVER be possible?

The one thing about life is that no one person can ever outsmart grief no matter what the source because grief comes from the core of a person, from the very soul. And no matter how hard one tries to outsmart it and push it away it will fester and breed, and fight to get to the surface.

Post from: Blisstree

You Can’t Outsmart Grief

Post from: Blisstree

Family Court and DNA…Today!

And so is Mama?

While the Bebe grows 3 pounds and 3 inches his Mama is growin’ a little too while waiting for him to come home. I can’t exactly call that pregnancy weight though can I?

Is it adoption weight, waiting weight, baby weight?

I’m not too worried, though. I lost over ten pounds when AJ came home. I don’t think I EVER sat down (or slept).

An update on the Bebe…DNA and Family Court are being scheduled and we are, thankfully, registered with CNA. It looks like things are moving but it still looks like he won’t be joining our family until at least fall.

On a side note: I’m at Props and Pans reviewing Lemonsquare’s new CD for kids..and its a giveaway!

Post from: Blisstree

New Pics of The Bebe!