Topic: family issues

Health Scares: 5 Smart Things My Mother-In-Law Taught Me

My mother-in-law has had a few serious health scares recently. Well, one wasn’t so much a scare as it was full-on breast cancer. (Luckily, they caught it early; she had surgery; she’s in remission; and is fine now.) But the other was an actual scare, and it sure was scary: A few weeks ago they found a small tumor on her brain behind her eye. There was talk of a biopsy and, perhaps, brain surgery. Thankfully, the neurosurgeon determined that he’s quite certain the tumor is benign, harmless, and will just sit there for the rest of her life. It’s not painful, so they’ll just watch it and give her another MRI in three months to make sure it hasn’t grown or changed. Health crisis averted. Still, as the Editor-in-Chief of a health and wellness website, I thought about what her recent health experiences could teach me (and you), especially with Mother’s Day just two days away, and the birth of my own first child just four-and-a-half weeks away. So here are five important health lessons I’ve learned from my mother-in-law’s recent health scares that — fortunately — turned out to be false alarms: More »

Health Lessons from Mom: Why My Mother Raised Me to be Vegetarian (Not Self-Righteous)

When I first told my mom I was writing about “health lessons from mom” in honor of Mother’s Day for Blisstree, she said:

What I learned from my mom was: Everything is better in bacon grease, though a half-cup of Crisco is a workable alternative. And…a meal is not a meal without meat. Obviously, I rejected all her culinary and dietary advice.

Which is pretty much true. I didn’t have my first piece of meat (or lick of bacon grease) until well after I turned 20, owing to a childhood of vegetarianism, courtesy of Mom. When I was growing up, being vegetarian wasn’t trendy, or even well-accepted, but my Mom didn’t seem to care. The first meat I saw pass through my mom’s kitchen came a few years ago in the form of dog food, and even that seemed like a cosmic shift in her relationship with meat. Years before Oprah caught onto the trend, my Mom was training me to answer for my diet during lunch room debates, and teaching me how to gracefully decline the cold cuts during snack time at day care. But until now, I’ve only really known a couple of basic facts about my mom’s choice to raise me and my brother on beans and leaves More »

Flashback Friday: Florence Henderson and Mr. T on Mother’s Day

It’s now time for Flashback Friday: The Mother’s Day edition. Frankly, I can’t imagine a Mother’s Day weekend during which I didn’t watch Mr. T’s Treat Your Mother Right at least half-a-dozen times. In fact, I’ve already watched it twice today. (If you don’t know what the hell I’m talking about, read on.)

In honor of all you special, beloved moms (and non-moms) out there, I present to you three funny, cool, cheesy, and/or vintage maternal-related videos that are available on YouTube. Because what would Mother’s Day be without Legos, Florence Henderson, and Mr. T? (If your mom is the computer-savvy-type who has a sense of humor, forward this post to her, but don’t expect that to replace the flowers you should be sending her on Sunday. Or the brunch reservations you should be making.)

So watch these short videos in good health as much as you like, but just don’t forget to call your ma on Sunday — or else she may kill you. For in the wise rapping words of Mr. T: “She’s a queen, second to none. Take care of Mother. You only get one.” More »

Mother’s Day Musings: My Mom Has Nothing to Do With Blood or Biology

For obvious reasons, we’re writing about our mothers this week on Blisstree (and particularly about any health-related lessons we may have learned from them). And while I could write about my actual mom (a damn fine woman, if I do say so myself), right now I’d rather celebrate someone who doesn’t have her own holiday: My non-mom.

You may have a non-mom in your life, too. A non-mom is anyone who (obviously) is not your biological mom, but with whom you share a maternal-like bond that doesn’t have anything to do with bloodlines, biology, race, religion, or even geographical distance. If you have a non-mom, you know exactly what I’m talking about, and you know how lucky you are. (Especially if you have both a mom and a non-mom.) But even if your life doesn’t contain a non-mom, I’m hoping somehow you’ll be able to relate.

Helen was my non-mom. I hesitate to tell you that she was also our housekeeper when I was growing up, because then you might get the wrong idea. More »

10 Hilarious Mother’s Day Someecards Just In Time For Sunday

Mother’s Day can be a complicated affair. First of all (and most importantly), you have to remember it in time. Then you have to decide what to do, get, buy, or where to make brunch reservations. Plus, you may have to grapple with the added bonus (read: burden?) of a mother-in-law who also expects her due. And what about grandmas — do they count? Yesterday, one of my colleagues and I were chatting on the office elevator about how she’d just picked up two Mother’s Day cards to send to both of her grandmothers. Wait a minute, I thought. Since when did it become standard practice for Nana and Grammy to horn in on all this faux-holiday action and annual mom worship?

All of this is why Blisstree appreciates the genius of someecards. Not only are they consistently hilarious, but they’re also free to send and receive. Which means you can email as many of them as you like to as many mother figures as you have in your life (including Auntie Mabel, your computer-savvy elderly neighbor, or your friend who just recently gave birth or adopted for the first time). Even better: If you end up almost forgetting Mother’s Day (as some of us are likely to), you can send someecards at the absolute last minute and still come off looking like the world’s greatest daughter or son to Mommie Dearest — as long as she has a wickedly good sense of humor.

So click through our gallery of ten of our favorite someecards celebrating the often very-tricky-to-navigate holiday that falls on the second Sunday of May, along with my own personal commentary on each one: More »

Mental Health Take: Why I Like Men Who Cry

There sure were a lot of male crybabies on last night’s season finale of America’s Next Great Restaurant on NBC. Of the three final contestants, two of them (Joey and Jamawn) were reduced to sobs and tears at several edited points during the show. (These moments were related to the surprise arrival of the contestants’ wives, kids, siblings, and/or friends at the end of their long and arduous restaurant competition, so I don’t blame Joey or Jamawn for turning on the waterworks. On the other hand, Sudhir, a new American citizen, native of India, and creator of Spice Coast, consistently held his emotions in check, which was one of the reasons why I would’ve chosen his concept as the winner.) But I have to say that watching those two tough guys weep openly on several occasions did make me realize how infrequently I’ve seen the men in my life cry. And because Joey and Jamawn are both fathers, I couldn’t help but specifically think of my own Dad.

My Dad was a self-made businessman who came from absolutely nothing, grew up indigent in one of Washington, D.C.’s worst neighborhoods, worked hard, built a successful company from the ground up, and, financially speaking, did very, very well for himself — without the benefit of a reality TV show, celebrity investors, or multiple chances to succeed. More »

5 Ways to Avoid Communication Breakdown In a Relationship

The Walkers are the worst communicators ever. If you’ve never had the dubious pleasure of seeing an episode of ABC’s Brothers & Sisters, featuring the Walker family’s antics and dramas, then you’ll just have to take my word for it. Odd that a big family who spends so much damn time on their cell phones talking to each other (often on irritating three-way calls) has such chronic difficulty actually saying anything important to one another, particularly when the timing really matters.

Last night’s episode was a perfect TV example of how poor communication skills can really do a number on relationships in real life. Justin wasn’t being straight with Nora (his mom) about two major life events (involving her ex-boyfriend and an unknown grandchild), and, for that matter, neither was daughter Sarah (albeit about a different issue). But Nora’s no saint, either: She wouldn’t reveal a shocking, life-changing secret to Sarah, even though (or because ) it would mean Sarah would find out that her father wasn’t actually her father. Meanwhile, Scotty was keeping something that I’d consider to be pretty important (locating stolen baby, anyone?) from his husband, Kevin. And Uncle Saul was trying to get Sarah and Luc to sign a pre-nuptial agreement, but only by approaching them furtively and individually. More »

Hall Pass: Instead of Husbands and Wives, Take a Break From Toxic Friends and Family

Hall Pass is basically the big-budget (and not nearly as entertaining) version of last fall’s indie flick The Freebie, which I blogged about on Blisstree a while back. The flawed, rom-com Hollywood logic in both films goes something like this: Couple has been married for a while, ennui sets in, husband’s eye wanders, wife gives husband a week off marriage in order to rekindle the spark (or, in the case of The Freebie, the couple gives each other one night off work/marriage), hilarity ensues, lessons are learned. On screen, this simplistic concept either works (couple realizes how good they have it) or it doesn’t (couple breaks up over infidelity and moves on), but in real life, things tend to be more complicated (and feature fewer Hollywood celebrities).

I don’t need to issue my husband a Hall Pass for several reasons: 1. He’s too busy. 2. He’s too tired. 3. He’s too cranky. (I’d feel like I’d need to call the imaginary-sex-partner-woman to apologize for him in advance.) And 4. He doesn’t have that philandering quality about him. Likewise, my husband needn’t give me a Hall Pass for the following reasons: 1. I’m too busy. 2. I’m too tired. 3. I’m too cranky. And 4. I’m 28 weeks pregnant, and what guy in his right mind would really be into that? So I’d like to suggest handing out a different type of non-sexual Hall Pass for real life situations: Starting now, I’d like us all to take a week off from our toxic friends and family. (Think of it as giving them up for Lent.) More »

The Parent Trap – If you find yourself liking your in-laws better than your bloodline, here’s how to handle your family issues, diplomatically. (Salon)

What We're Reading:

Modern Family Infographic: Marriage In 2011

One of the most popular New York Times articles over the weekend, “What ‘Modern Family’ Says About Modern Families,” contemplates why the hodgepodge families depicted on one of television’s most popular shows are so well-loved. The author suggests that fans connect to the show’s portrayal of our (sometimes dysfunctional) relationship with technology and media; that the characters’ confessional interviews with the camera reflect our own running monologues, updated regularly on Twitter and Facebook. But in conclusion, the article suggests that many of us love the Pritchett-Thacker family so much because under the surface of their oddball characters, technologically-advanced snafus, and unconventional relationships, they’re acting out the very traditional family values that even we modern viewers crave. More »

Christmas Gift Guide Roundup: Presents for Everyone!

Just in time for all your holiday shopping expeditions this weekend (in stores or online): We present a gallery of ten of our best Christmas gift guides all in one convenient place. Now all you have to do is check your list twice.

Gift Guide Gallery: 6 Co-Worker Presents

Holiday Gift Guide: 10 Sex Toys and Advice From Sexologist Dr. Carol Queen

Gift Guide Gallery: 8 Christmas Presents for Men

Christmas Gift Guide Gallery: 8 Stocking Stuffers for Women More »

Health Horror Stories Aren’t Good Facebook Updates

Is announcing serious health problems on Facebook apropros – or just annoying?

We’ve all had casual conversations about the annoyance (and, often, idiocy) of Facebook oversharers. They usually peter out and involve tips on how to change newsfeed settings, concluding with a loose consensus that it’s irritating to get constant reminders of how your life choices have differed from those of your high school friends since graduation. But when I heard about the tragic story of Shana Greatman Swers, it forced me to stop and seriously contemplate whether it’s appropriate to share health-related personal details on Facebook. More »

Holiday Tips for Single Women

Check out this post on being single during the holidays by Doree Lewak on Lemondrop.

There are roughly 55 million single women in the U.S. Many of them are with-it, smokin’ and smart — and many with their finger on the pulse of life. But when that certain finger is ringless, even the most self-assured single can dread the shame and rebuke of facing disappointed family during the holidays — especially when the really hostile ones who found the unlocked liquor cabinet constantly undermine you, demanding to know why you can’t scare up a date. It can be downright soul-crushing when you come home empty-handed –– literally! — no ring on that finger, watching family members’ faces crumble in disappointment that you’re back another year without any engagement bling.

Family gatherings during the holidays are always a crapshoot: They can either lift the dark cloud hanging over you because you’re sans date, or they can remind you of the reason that you come home only once a year: You don’t need your family pointing out how alone you are. More »

Christmas Gift Guide Gallery: 8 Stocking Stuffers for Women

Christmas stockings are underrated. The best presents are inside them: Makeup, perfume, tights, scratch-off lottery tickets, jewelry, candy, underwear, and, of course, chocolate Santas. We love stockings because they’re way more fun to open than the presents under the tree. (Take that, sweaters.) Plus, Kris Kringle has room to fill our stockings with many lovely little things, and we can take our sweet time opening every single one of them over a hot cup of coffee. But because some people have trouble coming up with inventive stocking stuffer ideas, we created a gallery of eight stocking stuffers for women (and bourbon lovers). A few items are even eco-friendly, and all are lots of fun. Just make sure that sock is plenty big and long – and can bear some serious weight. More »

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