She did this every afternoon, I learned.  About the time her children, during their school years, would have come home from school, she became restless, walking the hallway and insisting she must get home before the children did.  Some instinct made her aware that it was afternoon.  Her mind took her back to that era when her children were young.  (They now are adults with children of their own and are responsible for her care.)

Mother’s School Memories 

           My mom never insisted, while at the nursing home, that she had to get home before we children arrived from school.  However, she sometimes related her school teaching memories.  Mother had been a teacher in a one-room school before we children were born. (That was during the era when married women generally weren’t hired and definitely had to give up their position when they became pregnant).  However, Mother enjoyed teaching and encouraged my sister and me to attend teacher’s college and get our degrees (wich we did). 

Often, I found that Mother’s memories lapsed back to her teaching days, her days at teacher’s training school, or her own days in school.  She reminisced about walking with her sister and brothers to attend the one-room school house in Milan, New York.  (Yes, she did walk three miles, because I’ve measured it.  Also, it was uphill much of the way home.) 

Record the Memories 

            While Mother still could verbalize her memories, I wrote some of them down for our family history, to share with future generations.   Who didn’t have to walk three miles to school! 

Perhaps when your family member thinks it’s time for the children to come home from school, or simply reminisce in general, you can get him/her talking about those days.  While they reminisce write or tape those incidents.  Otherwise, they’ll be lost forever.                                             

Post from: Blisstree

Back-to-School in Alzheimer’s Memories

She liked to visit places connected to these days and tell me stories about the times and the people.  Sometimes it wasn’t convenient to make these forays, but I realized, as I provided information today to another researcher, that I had fond memories of taking these jaunts along memory lane with Mother.

Today when asked about my ancestor, the singer, Mme. Anna Bishop Schultz, I recalled researching her with Mother. One day Mother wanted to find Mme. Anna’s grave, along with those of other Schultz ancestors.  So, on a sunny summer afternoon, we took a drive in search of Mme. Anna.  Someone now is writing a book that mentions Mme. Anna and wondered where her grave is.  Because of that adventure with Mother, I could advise the author where to start the research.

We also looked for old home sites.  Mother showed me where her grandparents once lived and where her mother grew up.  It’s simply an overgrown foundation now, but , along with her stories, gave me insight into my heritage.

Another place we visited was the Old Stone Church.  As long as I can remember, the church was unused and roof nonexistent.  Mother recalled the days her family attended church there.  As she reminisced, I could see she was enjoying this outing and I caught a glimpse of her earlier life.

Sometimes it isn’t convenient to take some short drives with Alzheimer’s family members.  However, I look back now and realize the frustrations and inconveniences were short term.  The experiences brought Mother joy and gave me memories and a sense of my family history.

Not all of you will want to search for ancestors.  There will be, though, short term activities you can engage in until your patient is too forgetful to realize.

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Searching for Ancestors with an Alzheimer’s Family Member

At a family history writing workshop, a student remarked that she found putting copies of the Christmas letters into scrapbooks was a great way to begin compiling family memories. 

“What a great idea!” I thought. 

So I began putting copies of my letters into a folder, instead of having them saved here and there.  This morning, I began putting them into acid free sleeves in a three ring binder.

As I read the letters I’d found, I discovered a record of my mom’s Alzheimer’s years…not all the little details, but the dates or months when I moved her to my home, when I used a nursing home for daycare, when the grandchildren visited her for tea parties.  Some letters were more detailed than others.  But it gave me a skeleton outline without my having to wade through other records for this information.

I also read about other family events occurring during those years…the joys and sadness…the births and deaths…the trips we took.  This is another way to save family memories, in addition to the information you might put into journals, scrapbooks, and diaries.  I’ve also left space to add photos, if I decide to include them.

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Another Way to Save Alzheimer’s Caregiver Memories