for my torso to shrink

or the shirt to lengthen 2 inches.

I’ve got this crazy entitlement issue with my shirts. I feel I should be allowed to move my arms without showing my stomach.

The one with the pink scarf too. My mother bought them for me and it feels ungrateful to admit they don’t fit. What’s the statute of limitations on this?

My torso not only has to shrink for the striped one to fit, but my boobs do too. I’m holding out because shrinking boobs is a possibility.

I invested an entire quarter, that’s 25 cents at a garage sale, in the brown shirt.

That’s worth losing a few inches of torso isn’t it? Have you ever seen a shirt that has the ability to grow?

This is when frugality becomes a mental health issue.

Post from: Blisstree

Incredible Shrinking Torso

I keep these earrings – without their match – because . . .

After several years and a move to a new house in a new city I’m hoping to find it’s pair.

Because it’s dear to me and extremely expensive? (It’s mostly cheap crap from Claire’s Boutique.)

There’s one lapis earring up there that I liked so much I actually wore it (at least twice) with a different earring hoping to bring back that asymmetrical fashion of the 80s. I lost its pair around 2001.

Perhaps I’ve internalized my grandparents’ depression-era “waste not, want not” philosophy a little to deeply?

I wonder if Joshua over at Junk Creation can do something cool with a bunch of broken and matchless jewelry.

Post from: Blisstree

Singleton Jewels

I see Mommy’s butt crack! I see Mommy’s butt crack! I see Mommy’s butt crack!

She sang as she ran around me laughing and pulling down her britches to show her own butt crack. Zack, her 20-month-old brother, yanked his own pants down to show of his own crack and danced behind her, echoing,

 Mama Ba ack! Mama Buh Cack! Mama Cack!

That’s it, I’m buying a decent pair of jeans! I laughed. Apparently, I’ve become ridiculous in my refusal to pay real money for jeans that look good on me.  

I lost some weight and that deserves a reward, I’m so frugal my last three pair of jeans cost $1.50 each and I am sick, sick, sick to death of walking around in jeans that make me look and feel like a plumber. I should feel entitled to bending over without showing the world my crack.   

Remember I wrote about that website Zafu.com where they ask you a bunch of questions about how jeans fit you, how you wish jeans would fit you, how tall you are and how much you weigh?

Zafu scans their database of all the jeans in the world and tell you, scientifically or magically, which brand and style of jeans will fit your specific body the best.

I tested it and it works. My report came back that Lucky Brand Dungarees Easy Rider in short size 29 or 30 would fit me best of all jeans in the whole world.

This week on my trip to Atlanta, I scouted out the recommended jeans and wow! I love them. 

Thank goodness they were having their twice annual 50% off sale or I never would have dared buy a pair.  Even at 50% off, I promise I have never spent this much money on a pair of jeans.

Of course, my exact perfect pair were not on sale, so I bought the runner-up, Lucky’s Classic Riders, and I’ll need to hem them. Evidently, I can only only overcome frugality about half-way.

From now on I’ll be able to scavenge for them on Ebay, Ross, TJ Max, thrifts stores and garage sales.

Zafu.com - go try it and see which jeans are best for you. They also have a bra tool – so you can find the perfect bra.

Post from: Blisstree

Lucky, Lucky, Lucky Me

I feel this is too much information. There is little I can do about it, short of being a Purell addict or avoiding public areas. I already have enough to worry about.

That said, I totally get why the world might be grossing you out if you’re a Purell addict or a germaphobe yourself. 

While not a germaphobe I never, ever put my purse on the bathroom floor. It’s sick and wrong.

Anne of Stylagio sent me a handy little “accessory” called a ClipChic so I never have to. I try not to think about germs that might be in a restaurant where I’m eating, but you might have issues about putting your purse on the floor.

I’ll hook you up with this gross piece on ABC News about what kind of funky sick crap (literally) is on your purse – but my advice is don’t read it. You’re saner if you don’t know. If you know, you’ll have issues and you’ll have to buy this purse hook. You could just buy it and take my word that your purse is a haven of icky.

ClipChic are under $20 and come in lots of colors and weigh next to nothing, which is important, because I think we’ve discussed before how a heavy purse is bad news. They’re actually kind of cute and feel good in my hand.

Maybe you know a germaphobe or neurotic Purell junky who can’t live another day without one? They come in a really pretty black bag and gift box.

Post from: Blisstree

Germaphobe Gift

You can find your perfect jeans or bra fit by answering a short survey about your personal body type, so they claim.

The site will break it down by how likely the jeans or bra are to fit you, price range, length, style of leg, etc.

My perfect fit jean is a Lucky Easy Rider for around $100, according to Zafu.

If it works it would save a lot of miserable trying-on in a florescent dressing room. If I limit what I try on to the most likely fit, what a huge time saver.

It will also be handy information to carry around should I find a pair in a discount store like Ross, a thrift store, garage sale or clearance rack.

They offer the same service for the perfect bra fit. My perfect fit is a Calvin Klein or Betsy Johnson demi or extreme plunge, both $58. If I see them at Ross for $5, I might try one.

According to Zafu, Maidenform, which would fit me almost as well and only be $30.

Who wants to try out the free bra and jean matcher and then report back how well Zafu’s service works?

Post from: Blisstree

Perfect Fit

I heard Sarah Jessica Parker, say on Oprah, that her new line Bitten includes no low-waisted jeans because she’s over it. I’ve been over it since they were in.

Hallelujah!

Let’s face it, during the low-waisted trend I’ve been non-16. I’ve been doing feminine things like having babies and nursing them and lugging them around on my hip, which often causes shirts to ride up. Such things are not conducive to wearing low-rise pants, the sole intention of which is to let a little tummy show. No thank you.

Bitten offers such jeans for less than $20, and I’m dying to try some on. But, I’d have to drive three hours to the nearest Steve and Barry’s, no online store.

I love Sarah’s fashion manifesto: It is every woman’s inalienable right to have a pulled-together, stylish, confident wardrobe with money left over to live.

We probably shouldn’t amend the constitution to add that, but it’s a great principal to build a retail fashion line on. It’s so inclusive.

I ran in to Old Navy to see what their new denim collection was all about.

For those who can pull it off, they still carry a low-waisted and a mid-waisted style. (Oddly enough the mid-waisted jean made my belly sit like a flat tire right on top and were worse than the low-wasted jean.)

The Sweetheart has stolen my heart, sitting just below the waist. On the website they have a Goddess fit, which is at the natural waste, but my store didn’t have that style to try on. 

There are three beautiful things about an Old Navy pair of jeans.

• Sizes run big so I can celebrate that I’ve made it down to a size 10! That makes me feel like all this exercise and eating right has paid off.
• They make a “short,” in most sizes.
• The regular price is $30.

Post from: Blisstree

Death to Low-Waisted Jeans