I can relate to what is said in today’s reflection…
“If we still cling to something we will not let go, we ask God to help us be willing.”
It adds;
“When I had taken my Fifth Step, I became aware that all my defects of character stemmed from my need to feel secure and loved.”
And that’s where I identify!
Reading further, the message becomes – I ask for God’s help and somehow (?) I find myself, having decided to walk through my fear, helping someone else who is walking through their fear! In this reflection the fears are identical.
I’m finding it “funny” right …read more

From the AA Grapevine, Vol. 57 Issue 6, November 2000;
NERVOUS ABOUT HEARING HIS FIRST FIFTH STEP, a young priest asked an older priest to sit in on the session. After the AA member had described a few of his experiences, the older priest motioned the young one to step out into the hall.
“Cross your arms over your chest and rub your chin with one hand like this,” the older priest directed him. The young priest tried it. “Good,” said the older priest. “Try saying ‘I see. Yes, go on.’ And, ‘I understand. How did you feel about that?’” The young …read more

And some of us wonder why it doesn’t say “The End” after the Twelfth Step? No doubt because many of us, self included, remain masters of self-delusion years after putting the plug in the jug.
Page 58 (12&12) says: “As we took inventory, we began to suspect how much trouble self-delusion had been causing us. This had brought a disturbing reflection. If all our lives we had more or less fooled ourselves, how could we now be so sure that we weren’t still self-deceived?”
And I feel like saying “Oh Hell Yeah!”

Because I continue to do a “good job” of deceiving me… …read more

I’ve been here long enough and was personally preached at often enough to know that you can’t scare an alkie straight. “Frothy emotional appeal seldom suffices.”
That doesn’t change the fact that alcoholism is a deadly disease. Or a deadly condition or a deadly state of mind, whatever you care to call it. (That’s for those smart alecks who want recovery their way…)
“The idea that somehow, someday he will control and enjoy his drinking is the great obsession of every abnormal drinker. The persistence of this illusion is astonishing. Many pursue it into the gates of insanity or death.”
Last night we …read more

Doctor Bob’s Nightmare, page 175;
“I was between Scylla and Charybdis now, because if I did not drink my stomach tortured me, and if I did my nerves did the same thing.”
Can you relate???
Scylla and Charybdis are two sea monsters of Greek mythology situated on opposite sides of a narrow channel of water, so close that sailors attempting to avoid Charybdis will pass too close to Scylla and vice versa. The phrase “between Scylla and Charybdis” has come to mean being in a state where one is between two dangers and moving away from one will cause you to be in …read more

The Fifth Step in our 12&12 speaks about First Step meetings (perhaps geographically speaking) right there on page 55! Yep! It says;
“We search for an easier way – which usually consists of the general and fairly painless admission that when drinking we were sometimes bad actors. Then, for good measure, we add dramatic descriptions of that part of our drinking behavior which our friends probably know about anyhow.”
Really has it down to a “T.” Furthermore…
“But of the things which really bother and burn us, we say nothing. Certain distressing or humiliating memories, we tell ourselves, ought not be shared with …read more

It might not be commonly considered but if you think about it like I did once, you’ll probably believe it also.
Think about that last meeting. How many of those folks who shared were really telling the truth and how many of them were telling us what they thought we wanted to hear from them so we’d think they were okay? How many of those smiling faces were actually dying on the inside but, heaven forbid “I” should let you in, then I’d have to go to work, look at me, and change.
How many of those who quoted the Big Book …read more

That’s right! By telling on his/her disease and being truthful, the oldtimer manipulated the topic at yesterday’s meeting…
You were given cause to think, develop an answer based in the Twelve Steps, and respond accordingly. Did you?
Or, did you believe that the oldtimer was okay, didn’t truly need your help, wasn’t looking for an answer that would not only help him/her but others as well?
Or, did you make one up because you really had no idea what to say but needed to be heard anyway?
What do you think about this?
“How I work my program is none of anyone’s business!!! How anyone …read more

At the beginning of Step Four we found that “Creation gave us instincts for a purpose. Without them we wouldn’t be complete human beings.” Now, at the beginning of Step Five we’re told;
“All of A.A.’s Twelve Steps ask us to go contrary to our natural desires… they all deflate our egos. When it comes to ego deflation, few steps are harder to take than Five. But scarcely any Step is more necessary to longtime sobriety and peace of mind than this one.”
Today, I’d very much like to offer my thanks to Sean A. from L.A., who said this on a …read more

Are you? Bill Wilson was…

 
The Language of The Heart reveals what Bill says about his fourth and fifth steps on page 239;
“Step Four and Step Five, dealing with self-survey and confession of one’s defects, have not been overly difficult, either.
Of course, my self-analysis has frequently been faulty. Sometimes I’ve failed to share my defects with the right people; at other times, I’ve confessed their defects, rather than my own; and at still other times, my confession of defects has been more in the nature of loud complaints about my circumstances and my problems.
Nevertheless, I think I’ve usually been …read more