The recent “Grapefruit Guide to Glamorous Moments Poll” by the Florida Department of Citrus revealed that 75% of women surveyed consider job interviews to be the most important moment to look good, followed by wedding day at 69%.

Other days that women want to look their best include: weddings of friends, first dates, class reunions, holiday parties and a night out.

The most common goal, cited by 83% of women, was having great hair at a “glamour event.” The survey participants included 1,050 women ages 25-54. The research was conducted by Richard Day Research, Inc.

Beauty or Money?

It seems that the women surveyed chose beauty. Are you surprised?

Almost half of the women would rather lose $5,000 of income than gain 20 pounds, and 81% would rather lose two dress sizes than meet an admired celebrity. Plus, 38% of women would chose wrinkle-free skin over a new car.

Short-term Dieting

Almost all of the women surveyed considered diet and nutrition important for preparing for special events, but most of them opt for short-term fixes instead of long-term goals. While more than half of the women dieted for special events, 64% stopped the diet shortly after the big event.

Carrie Latt Wiatt, nutrition consultant to Hollywood’s elite, recommends a different approach:

“By maintaining a healthy lifestyle which includes physical activity and choosing the right mix of foods day-to-day, you can increase your chances for success in achieving benefits like a healthy weight, reduced risk for disease, shiny, healthy hair, and smooth skin. This lifestyle also helps you sustain results over time.”

Wiatt recommends eating fiber-rich foods (like grapefruit) which help you feel fuller. She also praises the grapefruit’s ability to support more youthful skin through collagen production. For snack time, Wiatt suggests pairing a favorite fruit or veggie with a serving of walnuts, which add protein, omega-3 fatty acids and a nice crunch!

You can read more diet tips from Wiatt at the Florida Grapefruit site.

(Image via Florida Grapefruit)

Post from: Blisstree

When Do You Long To Look Your Best?

While I shall still be very much a part of the Splendicity family – you can find me at EBeautyDaily, ShopaholicsDaily, and the hair channel over there – this shall be my last Blistree Relationships post.

The absolutely fabulous Kelli DesRochers will be taking my place, and she will have some fun contests coming up for you very soon – along, with, I’m sure, tons of fun relationship/sex chat!

I, however, will be sure to comment all the time with updates on my own (nonexistent) love life.

Speaking of my love life, I watched He’s Not That Into You last night…two times. (The beauties of In Demand cable!)  I realized, after the second watching, it actually ain’t all that depressing…it’s actually rather inspirational! I couldn’t help but identify with though.

And while i realize it’s six months too late to write a review of this movie, I’m writing something of  a revelation – a burst of clarity, if you will.

Basically, this is the first movie ever that I’ve seen that’s actually truly about love. As is it really is. And it’s also about dating – and the ugly truth behind it. Us women have to stop lying to ourselves. If a guy wants to call you, he will. If he likes you, he will make the effort. And if he doesn’t, that means he’s not interested.

And this seems SO obvious to me, now, after seeing the movie, and yet, simultaneously, I’m consulting my friend’s magic 8 ball for its views on if the guy who hasn’t called in two weeks is maybe possibly interested after all.

I most identified with Ginnifer Goodwin, who played a serial first-dater (by no fault of her own beyond delusional optimism.)  Gigi (Goodwin) has no defenses, gives too much, talks too much and spends a lot of time sitting by the phone.

That is me!!

And so, much like when I know that carbs are bad and yet eat a bagel, I know that I am crazy and a walking cliche, and yet…am doing nothing different. I’m inspired, but still hoping that I, too, will be the”exception”.  I wonder how any of you have responded to the movie?

Image: Sxc.hu

Post from: Blisstree

He’s Not That Into You – In a New Light

Image by
Getty Images
via Daylife

Ya gotta love PlentyOfFish for being free so all the wackos can get on it.

I met this guy, right… he’s pretty much okay looking, just not what I’d be on the hunt for (I like DARK hair, darkest brown or black. I like tan or olive complexions. I like tall men. I like men where I can imagine myself wrapped up in their arms and feeling small and safe) but he was ok looking.

We chatted online for a day or so, and we had a lot in common. The fire department thing, the mixed Italian heritage, very similar values on work and family and marriage. I thought that this was too good to be true (and I think he kind of did to) so we just really had to meet fact to face.

We meet up this past Sunday for coffee at Panera, one of my favorite places. He’s cuter in person than in his photos, still not my “ideal” but what the hay, sometimes a girl’s gotta sacrifice somewhere. (Kidding! Seriously, he was okay looking.)

He opened doors, paid for coffee, all was nice. We talked a lot, and I got a little nervous when he started mentioning his brother and drugs in the same sentence, but I thought, “Okay, that’s his brother, not him necessarily.”

Then, I’m in the middle of a story, and he gives me this death stare and says, sternly as if to scold me, “You’re LOUD. You’re LOUD. Quiet down.”

Uh.

Hm.

Okay, then.

Now I’m insulted but I figured whatever, I’m not going to change me for you, and now you owe me dinner, bitch.

So we go to dinner, and I’m trying to be more accepting. I really seriously tried.

He then says to me, “You LOOK like the kind of girl who’d date a black guy.”

I say, “Excuse me? First, why would you say that? What about my appearance makes you think that?”

He says, “Well, it could be those ghetto fabulous earrings you’re wearing for one thing.”

Uh.

Hm.

Okay, then.

So I tried to change the subject, I asked him if he could name all the members of The Beatles. He said, “Uhhhh Paul McCartney. But I don’t give a shit. So whatever.”

I said, “You seriously can’t even give first names?”

He says, “No, and I think it’s really weird that you think that’s so important.”

Uh.

Hm.

Okay, then.

So then after dinner, I’m ready to just go home. He talks me into going bowling. I figured it’d be a good release of negative energy to throw a 10-pound ball down the lanes into some pins, so I agreed. Plus I was bored and wanted to see what crazy crap would come out of his mouth next.

Oh – incidentally… the ENTIRE NIGHT, his CrackBerry was out in front of us, and whenever it vibrated or beeped, he’d pick it up, text something, and put it down. This happened about every 5 minutes throughout the night. SO EFFING RUDE, GUYS. I don’t care how important you think you are, the first time you meet a new girl, put the damn thing away.

End of the night, post bowling (and post him rubbing my shoulders and making a grazing motion across my ass) he gave me a hug, kiss on the cheek, and I was done.

Next morning I get a text: Good Morning, Sunshine!

Okay, color me confused, but why the hell was this guy interested in someone he accused of being too loud, wearing “ghetto fabulous” earrings, who looked like she would be the kind of girl to date a black guy (as if he felt that would be a bad thing).

So I decide to have an IM conversation, again, mostly out of curiosity. He then goes on to start getting all sexual in the convo, and proceeds to tell me that if it’s “been a few weeks” he won’t hesitate to start making phone calls to get someone to come over and take care of the problem.

Uh.

Okay.

Now I’m done.

So I explain that I’m pretty happy not being a bar whore or a booty call, and he’d better get off the computer with me and on to making his important calls.

He tells me he was kidding. Riiiight.

I’m on the phone with him later on, as he’s trying to convince me to give him another chance, because he really likes me, blah blah, and I’m hearing all this rustling noise.

I ask him what he’s doing, he tells me “texting”.

AAAARGH!!!!

So I asked, “What the hell is that damn important, when you’re on the phone with someone, to text back?”

Are you ready for his answer? Don’t have any beverages in your mouth when you read this next line, okay?

“It was a buddy of mine who was looking for something and I’m sure you can guess what I’m talking about but anyway I told him where to get it.”

Yes, all in one breath like that.

I flipped out. “DRUGS!?! YOU’RE DOING A DAMN DRUG DEAL WHILE YOU’RE ON THE PHONE WITH ME!? ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND? DUDE, YOU’RE SICK! I’M DONE, HAVE A WONDERFUL LIFE, LOSER.”

He tried to call back after I hung up on him. I didn’t answer. What a fucking fruitcake!

And people wonder why women are choosing to be single mothers these days… people wonder!!!

Post from: Blisstree

Crazy First Date #77: Insulting CrackBerry Addict

Joanna Goddard, who writes Smitten: Sex, Love & Life: at Glamour.com  asked her readers to submit photos of themselves in their favorite First Date Outfits.  What followed was pretty much what I expected -quite a few skirts, mostly of the shorter variety, as well as some jeans.  The ladies look more quirky-fashionable than the ladies in my small hometown, possibly bordering more along the lines of the Japanese college students who live across from me.  (Those girls are adorable).  The comments that accompanied the outfits were interesting and the impression that I gathered they are trying to get across is “I’m fun,” “I’m an individual,” “I’m not like every body else and if you don’t like that get lost…….”  Basically, every lady likes to stand out from the crowd, likes to look special, and unique. 

It’s been awhile since I went out on a First Date.  My outfit plan was usually comfortable, but with more effort than I’d normally do. I have a pair of brown pants with a tiny green stripe on them. They are soft, just a step up from jeans, and have some stretch. I love to wear them on First Dates and I’d pair them with a tank top, a green cardigan, and brown leather slip-on shoes. Oh, who am I kidding??  The shoes are flip flops.  I always wear flip flops, but they are made of leather and have a wedge heel, so I call them my Dressy Flip Flops. 

The theory behind the cardigan was that the color would bring out the green in my hazel eyes and would cover any tummy stick-out when I sat down.  The last thing that I want to worry about during any date is my muffin top.  Also, green is my favorite color.  Basically I’m wearing the going-to-town version of my bedtime best – pjs, robe, and slippers.  If I’m comfortable, I’m going to be less focused on what I’m wearing and more able to focus on making good conversation.  I’m a busy mom and I no longer have the time or energy that it takes to be high maintenance.  I want to make a good impression, but I also want to make this clear at the beginning, so if that is what someone is looking for, well they can keep on looking.  My checklist goes like this like this: I’m clean, I smell good, my skin is soft, I’m ready.

How about you?  What do you wear on a First Date?  What impression are you trying to send with your outfit?  

Post from: Blisstree

Looking Great For That First Date

He was very nice, this guy I met on eHarmony for the first time about a week or so ago. My life is pretty crazy sometimes, and he was sweet, and patient, and had no trouble being the one to “chase” me a little, which is something I’ve secretly wanted to experience more of in my life.

He was born and raised in “The South”, and moved up here to Upstate NY in search of a better career. He was tall, over six-foot, with dark hair and really pretty blue-ish eyes. I finally agreed to meet up with him for dinner, and he took me to a place neither of us had been before, which I think was pretty cool.

I wore a summery dress that I feel utterly fantastic in, with low slingback heels and just a pair of sparkly earrings and a ring on my right hand. He had come from work, and was in a dark green polo shirt and khakis.

We talked, a lot. It was nice, but kind of felt like a battle between who was going to tell the next story. Almost like he couldn’t wait to get stories out of me, and couldn’t wait to share his own. Not that that’s a bad thing, and it can likely be mostly chalked up to some first date jitters, but it was something that stood out to me.

The other thing that really stood out to me, was the fact that I was sitting there the whole time, waiting for that “spark” to happen. I mean, I can hold a conversation with a dirty window if I really want to, so it’s not the ability to communicate “spark” I’m wanting. It’s just… that instantaneous, breath-stealing, arc of electricity that happens when you first lay eyes on someone. No, it’s not a physical attraction thing either. It’s subliminal. Natural. Unpredictable. And yes, I’ve felt it before. Just not this time.

At the end of the date, I offered to pay my half of the meal and being polite and gentlemanly, he refused to allow it. I thanked him, he walked me to the car, I gave him a hug and was on my way.

(Yes, I then picked up the phone and in this order, called my mom, my dad, and two of my best girlfriends. All before I made it back into my driveway.)

The next day there was an eHarmony message, and then later that day an answering machine message. I really WAS busy with a bunch of stuff and the weekend escaped me, as it often does. By Monday morning, I’d also missed another answering machine message, and I realized I needed to say something. But I’ve never had to do that before really. I mean, I’m not a bitch, so I can’t just be all “Yeah, I met someone else, sorry,” or blow him off and not respond, hoping he’ll give up. That’s SUCH a “player” thing to do (and I couldn’t be a player if someone wrote an instruction manual on how). I had to be honest with him.

What he responded with made me feel bad. He said that it was too emotionally taxing on him to get into someone and have them either fall off the face of the Earth or just not even want to try their hand at a friendship. He said he was going to take a break from dating, and eHarmony, and trying to meet someone special. I felt bad for him, because he really IS a nice guy, a great conversationalist, has a good work ethic, and does someday want to be a husband and father. He’s someone’s Prince Charming, just not mine.

So why should I be feeling bad about that? What is it about me, that internalized what this guy said to me, and took it to mean that I hurt him somehow? Why does that bother me so?

Got a “first date” story you want to share?
Email me at lara.kulpa@b5media.com and tell me! I promise to protect the names of the innocent (or share the names of the not-so, if you wish)!

Post from: Blisstree

First Dates #374

Then, I clicked on Body Language – Reading a Mans Body Language – Cosmopolitan.com where I learned that the forehead-to-forehead pose that S and I leaned into for a photo yesterday is a sign of trust. Cosmo covers body language in many different aspects, including casual and serious dating, as well as sex and couples who are on the rocks.

Next, I read How Men Think – Marriage – First Date – Cosmopolitan.com. This made me question what sort of things go through my mind on a first date. I know that I usually am looking to see if I feel a spark, but I try not to judge too quickly. Sometimes nerves get in the way and I might feel more comfortable and attracted on a second date. What do you think about during a first date? Do you have a check list?

From there, I followed a link to 21 Little Sex Moves That Will Rock Your World (and His!) – Redbook. Wow, this is seriously not my mother’s Redbook magazine. Spicy. And explicit, so if you are not truly interested in sexing up your sex life, don’t click on the link.

These articles are from women’s magazines, but they offer information that can be helpful and entertaining to both men and women.

Post from: Blisstree

Dating/Relationship Fun Stuff at Cosmopolitan

Perhaps a little life lesson in How to Get a Second Date would be beneficial to some who might not be able to see what’s happening to cause their lack of returns.

Some key elements I found while doing a search on this very topic are:

• Perhaps you’re going out with the wrong ‘type’ of person
• When conversing, do you ask about them?
• Do you listen or do you carry the entire conversation?
• Are you sending out the wrong or negative signals?
• Are you showing signs of excess emotional baggage in tow?
• Do you talk about ex’s too much?

What are some of the reasons you turn down the offer of a second date?

Post from: Blisstree

Are you the King or Queen of first dates?

I guess that’s what dating is actually for — options. It creates an ideal scenario wherein you get to try out something until you find that one thing that suits you best.

However, it doesn’t always work out that way, right?

I’ve never been in a situation wherein I’m actively “seeing” several people at one time. More often than not, I always end up seeing just one person and that’s that. I’ll find out after a date or two if it’s not going to work out. So, the idea of individuals who actually can date more than one person at a given period of time is beyond me.

I guess that’s how I define multi-dating. Of course, it’s different when you have accummulated a lot of first dates over time. Even if it meant you have indeed dated more than one person, for me, it doesn’t fall under this particular practice. That occurence is actually quite normal. It’s simply — dating.

Do you approve of multi-dating? Do you think it’s healthy? Do you think it’s effective?

If you have experienced or are currently practicing it, would you mind sharing with us, so, we can understand it better?

Post from: Blisstree

Multi-dating: Dating more than one person

Women communicate with hints, body language, sarcasm, and flirting when they’re first getting to know a man (one they like, that is).  They can either directly or indirectly let men know if they’re open to something more serious. 

Men are different (imagine!).  Men generally communicate with sarcasm, humor, cockiness and other “indirect” displays of status.  VERY RARELY will a man be able to honestly communicate to a woman whether or not he’s ready or capable of developing a meaningful relationship.   Aside from their sexual interests, men send very indirect signals about where they’re at.  If you don’t know how to read through the signals men send, then you’ll get the wrong message.  Getting the wrong messages from men causes women more pain and heartache than any other issue around.   You can avoid this pain if you learn to identify a good man from a bad one.

The biggest problem that women have, is they misunderstand the cockiness as a man being like a peacock – flairing his feathers to impress versus – giving the impression that he’s an ass and not one that you should be interested in.

Personally, I believe anyone who is on the outside can view a couple from afar and know who is more interested in whom.  If each person could learn to step outside themselves and view their communications from a distance, perhaps it would spare a great deal of heartache by weeding out the bad seeds early on.

What about you?  Can you tell when a couple is on a first date, who is most interested?  If one is interested and one isn’t?

It seems easy when you’re not in the thick of it, doesn’t it?

Post from: Blisstree

Relying On Your Natural Ability To Judge A Man’s Character