And the “trick” remains the same (I know – its not really a trick);

Don’t die, don’t drink and keep on keepin’ on.

From Ralph -

“Dear Mark,

“Congrats on your anniversary. If a knucklehead like you can get sober and stay sober, well, there’s still hope for a knucklehead like me.”

That’s right… this is why we “celebrate” the miracle of sobriety, so that others might know it works and have hope!

Thank you all

[Hey! Mr P. - Congrats to you too! Now... talk about a knucklehead 8O]

Post from: Blisstree

A Long Way To Go…

“We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it” – a promise many of us have learned to live by… thankfully.

There were posts in 2006 that I’d consider favorites and then there were entries that generated a bit of controversy (or were generated by controversy that I created).

Here are a few beginning with my beginning in April;

Change – Where I introduce myself to you…

Are You Co-Signing BS? – Keeping meeting topics on task

Meeting Makers Make It? – Nothing Changes If Nothing Changes

Happy Anniversary! – We celebrate the sober anniversaries of my good friend Larry W. here in Savannah and my new friend JJ “up there” in Boston.

The First Deadly Sin – Proud folks in AA willing to deny or re-write the program of recovery. Amazing…

Computer Eyes – Children deserve at least one sober parent, or two – please…

Self-Supporting, Self Sacrifice, Unselfish Constructive Action – Given bad information which led to an informative and worthwhile discussion.

Utilize Don’t Analyze – Clearing up a possible mis-perception, hopefully.

Anger – That “old suit of clothes” I wear so poorly today.

AA Is Not Big Business – Even our trusted servants are held accountable.

How Do You Feel About This? – Contradiction or contentiousness?

No Monopoly – AA has its critics yet never says it is the end all/be all of recovery.

Twelve Qualities of Sponsorship – Help to be a sponsor – proper helpful sponsorship attitudes and principles.

Sometimes I Just Wanna… – Comment spammers need to die!!!

A New Day – Taking an offline job to make ends meet (or to make someone else happy)

An Application Of Recovery Principles – b5media gets venture capital and the ill folks of the blogosphere show up

Let’s Have A Meeting! – Is someone breaking traditions at your home group?

The Eleventh Step Prayer – Once again, the tool needed at a time of emotional disturbance

Established For Future Generations – Leave your personal, non-recovery agendas at home when you come to a meeting.

The Fundamental Spiritual Awakening – Practicing The Presence of God.

A Disease Of Perceptions? Personal troubles and possible solutions as a result of the Twelve Steps.

Enjoy and follow along with the rest of our Science and Health folks at Breastfeeding123.com where Angela will be compiling a summary of the day’s writings.

Post from: Blisstree

Nor Wish To Shut The Door On It

Like the sponge I am I’m looking all over the site and I see this;

“A.A. does not promise to solve your life’s problems. But we can show you how we are learning to live without drinking “one day at a time.”

And, since Gary and I have been discussing the improprieties of First Step meetings I felt like mentioning this once again. Folks – in our Preamble, it does not say problems! It says “that they may solve their common problem and help others recover from alcoholism.”

Not: “help others recover from bankruptcy,” “help others recover from depression,” “help others recover from divorce,” or a myriad of other difficulties we attempt to solve in meetings or privately.

First Tradition – Unity! Singleness of Purpose. Helloooooooo… Personal recovery depends upon AA unity.

“He learns that the clamor of desires and ambitions within him must be silenced whenever these could damage the group. It becomes plain that the group must survive or the individual will not.”

Which is to tell all you hot shots out there that want to be president of AA that it isn’t about to happen. BTW – why would anyone want to be president of a group of drunks lol? Plus, those of you who aren’t lawyers, doctors and mental health professionals ought to put your fake credentials back in your closets okay? Thank you…

Post from: Blisstree

Their Common Problem!

Sound funny? Not really… It’s Theme Day at The Science and Health Channel. The Theme is Food.

Through the years I’ve heard various theories and stories about using alcohol in foods and having the alcohol burn off, therefore I need not worry. Well, as usual, I still need to maintain constant vigilance and look at this theory one more time with the help of the AA History Lovers Group and The Grapevine Volume 47 Issue 3 August 1990.

Apparently alcohol has more staying power than some have thought or believed.

“Many of these items are contrary to AA philosophy. Their publication here does not mean that the Grapevine endorses or approves them; they are offered solely for your information.”

“Don’t blame Julia Child for leading you astray: We all were convinced that the alcohol in the sherry she so liberally added to dishes would cook away, with only the wine’s flavor left behind. But now, it turns out, we can’t have our brandy and eat it too, because alcohol, as recent research reveals, has tremendous staying power.

At the request of the U.S. Department of Agriculture, food scientist Evelyn A. Augustin of Washington State University in Pullman, along with her husband, Jorg A. Augustin of the Food Research Center at the University of Idaho in Moscow, recently tested six recipes to determine the fate of the alcohol called for. Their results, reported at the latest annual meeting of the American Dietetic Association, were a big surprise to everyone. They found that the burgundy in pot roast Milano, for example, doesn’t completely disappear even after two and a half hours of simmering on the stove; that a dish of scalloped oysters, baked at 375 degrees for 25 minutes, retains 45 percent of the alcohol in the dry sherry used; that Grand Marnier sauce, which is removed from the heat when the called-for liqueur is added, gets hot enough to lose only 15 percent of its alcohol.

Especially surprising, though, was what happened–or didn’t happen–to the brandy in the cherries jubilee. The recipe calls for dark sweet cherries to be mixed with corn-starch and heated in a chafing dish to thicken. One quarter of a cup of brandy is then ignited in a separate pan and poured over the cherries. But even this intense flaming process, the Augustins discovered, burned off no more than 25 percent of the alcohol. They tested the recipe several times, and on each try the flame died, while 75 percent of the alcohol survived.”

Post from: Blisstree

Staying Power – Constant Vigilance

The Re-socialization View Of Recovery

This view of recovery is…

‘…highly social and involves the use of informal community resources that provide a sobriety-based framework in which one can stop drinking and maintain sobriety.’

William L. White – “Slaying the Dragon”

“In the Re-socialization View of recovery, the biggest problem of the addict is not a need for spiritual experience, nor is it underlying psychological stressors. Instead, the Re-socialization View believes that the addict’s biggest problem is using. When the using stops, the addict’s biggest problem becomes how to stay stopped. Solutions to these problems are fairly straightforward. ‘Don’t use, go to meetings, ask for help.’ ‘Keep coming back.’ ‘Meeting makers make it.’ ‘90 meetings in 90 days.’ These and other similar slogans outline the program of the Re-socialization view—just keep going to meetings.”

Now, please give this serious consideration,

That Ain’t In The Book!

For example;

“Don’t drink and go to meetings.”

Page 34, paragraph 2: “Many of us felt we had plenty of character. There was a tremendous urge to cease forever. Yet we found it impossible. This is the baffling feature of alcoholism as we know it—this utter inability to leave it alone, no matter how great the necessity or the wish.”

I may not share this with all, but there is one thing that really stands out and strikes me about the Re-socialization View of Recovery. Can you perceive what it is?

Post from: Blisstree

The Re-socialization View Of Recovery?

Relating to The Traditions, John says;

“What am I supposed to do when I see a tradition is being broken at my meeting? Who is responsible for upholding the traditions? Who sees to it that the group understands that a tradition is being broken?”

Please, feel free to comment… John – much thanks!

Post from: Blisstree

Lets Have A Meeting!

“When we habitually try to manipulate others to our own willful desires, they revolt, and resist us heavily. Then we develop hurt feelings, a sense of persecution, and a desire to retaliate. As we redouble our efforts at control, and continue to fail, our suffering becomes acute and constant.”

I often still, make efforts to control others. It is in my nature. I have made enormous progress with it through the years and have even asked God to remove it. It still is…

This specific passage is of very large importance – for me. It distinctly rings out when it says “our suffering becomes acute and constant.” One of the definitions of acute is: intense. Intense suffering? Yep!

There are a lot of “things” about AA that I would love to “fix” or change. That is also in my nature. Why would I want to “fix” or change anything? Fear. It is very simple. Fear. Firstly, I don’t want to lose what I have (self-centered) and I don’t want others to die. Both thoughts scare me. And – thankfully, they scare me. When I was drinking, I cared very little about life – yours or mine. Today, that is no longer true.

I don’t want to go any further before I tell you why I’m writing about this today. I spend time visiting and reading through many other recovery related Blogs and web sites. It is also in my nature to seek knowledge and to play detective to discover wrongs. Another shortcoming…

I see the “debate” over whether or not I am, you are, they are, we are, recovered or in recovery. Of course I’d love to express my very passionate feelings about the topic for me!!! My personal feelings and beliefs cause me to say I’m in recovery and I’d rather not come to a state of mind where I believe I’m recovered. That feeling and belief is not shared by all. Others feel and believe that they are recovered.

The question then becomes – which is right? Nope! Wrong! The question ought to be, can I live and let live? Can I accept that if you believe you’re in recovery and you’re not drinking and haven’t had a drink for a long time (relative term) that is okay? Can I accept that if you believe you’re recovered and you’re not drinking and haven’t had a drink for a long time (relative term) that is okay?

I have no need to belittle or demean your sobriety by calling you names or telling you you’re not what you believe you are because you don’t believe the same way I do. To act that way is old, drinking behavior i.e. – once again, I’m imposing my will on you, I am saying I know better than God. And there’s a place in the Big Book that explains that too.

I’ll continue to subscribe to my sponsors’ principle – that each day any one of us who admits to the disease of alcoholism – doesn’t take a drink, it is a victory over death! I’d really, really rather look at it in that light than find myself suffering acutely because I have some perverse need to impose my will on you and demand that you see it my way and believe you’re “in recovery” and not recovered – or vice versa.

Post from: Blisstree

Live And Let Live – Please…

This time from the First Tradition, #’s 7 and 8;

7. Am I as considerate of AA members as I want them to be of me?

8. Do I spout platitudes about love while indulging in and secretly justifying behavior that bristles with hostility?

Let’s consider the First Tradition – “Our common welfare should come first; personal recovery depends upon AA unity.”

Within the First Tradition in the 12 and 12 is this;

“What in Heaven’s name holds them together?”

“The A.A. member has to conform to the principles of recovery. His life actually depends upon obedience to spiritual principles.”

Purposefully ignoring the argumentative fodder those sentences offer AA opponents, I’ll ask myself these questions relating to the checklist;

Being considerate of others – is that a spiritual principle? Indulging in and secretly justifying hostile behavior – is that a spiritual principle?

I know my answers, how about you? And, if we can, for a moment, also consider what we were like, how does a newcomer know any of this when they’ve just walked in to A.A.?

Post from: Blisstree

How Does A Newcomer Know?

“they were written first in our hearts. For each of us knows, instinctively I think, that AA is not ours to do with as we please. We are but caretakers to preserve the spiritual quality of our fellowship; keep it whole for those who will come after us and have the need of what has so generously been given to us.”

Considering the dilemma I face currently, I especially see this quote;

“But we’ve resolved never to allow either money or the management of our necessary affairs to obscure our spiritual aims. The same loving God whose divine wisdom has shown us that one desperate and shaky drunk, fumbling for a nickel to call for help, looms larger than any ‘organization’ we shall ever have, or need!”

It was within this particular writing that Bill informed the membership in general that “Alcoholics Anonymous is now grown,” meaning that it was no longer within the abilities of the founders and their friends to maintain AA’s valuable assets in trust. He and Dr. Bob were turning over the reins. Bill said;

“So the hour has come when you must take these things into your own keeping. We ask that you guard them well, for the future of Alcoholics Anonymous may depend on how you maintain and support these life-giving arms of service.”

The establishment of the General Service Conference of Alcoholics Anonymous was about to begin. They passed the legacy on to those who’ve eventually passed it on to us!

In keeping with [my perception of the tone] of Bill’s writing and as a result of talking to one of our 32+ yr. oldtimers after our home group last night, what stands out extremely loud from Bill’s thoughts in Nov. 1950 is this;

“The Traditions also say that our trusted servants shall never govern; that they shall always be directly accountable to those they serve.”

Without making an assumption, hopefully, since it is more than 24 hours since I contacted the “trusted servant” who may have offered me wrong information that I used for a possible article in the Grapevine and I may be ready to “assume” an answer is not forthcoming, I will prepare to rescind the article from consideration for publishing.

Yes, there most definitely is a reason for me to put that in writing here, now.

How is your sober day going? I think I’ll start mine all over the moment I publish this entry

Post from: Blisstree

AA Is Not Big Business

A few years ago, when Dr. Paul was interviewed, I believe I heard that he said the trick is to be in God’s world.

I am of the school that believes that not every action is acceptable, much behavior is unacceptable by its nature and is not of God’s world.

I also believe in the existence of a lower power.

All that being said, if you’re not of the same beliefs, that’s cool. I’m not here to ask you to be. I am leading up to a sequential series of “events” which have contained within them, principles necessary to recovery from alcoholism on an ongoing basis. Those events have revolved around the issue of – the use of, contribution of, spending of, saving of, what society at large likes to call “the root of all evil – money,” in Alcoholics Anonymous.

Some of “my” instincts and also the instincts of others, have confirmed, for me, that I am a master of self-delusion as are my fellow travelers in recovery. We all often make mistakes, misperceive, misunderstand and display our judgmental qualities. I have.

And we haven’t had to drink over any of this!

What a concept…

I’d like to offer my personal thanks to John B. from Oklahoma who offered an extensive, well thought out reply to a previous post on the topic. I’d also like to say thanks to Scott and dAAve who offered their comments and displayed their interest.

Then I’d like to challenge each and every one of you to consider that AA is not bullet proof. If it were, there wouldn’t have been a need for Traditions. If Alcoholics Anonymous dies, how many of us will also die. Think that’s too dramatic? Try looking at reality without the rose-colored glasses.

The sequence of events began with our State Delegate issuing “A Challenge To Follow Our Seventh Tradition.” I read it in print and, after much deciphering, came to the conclusion that some of the things he said irritated the daylights out of me because I felt like I was being driven on a guilt trip. (Please notice all the “I’s”). After much additional thought following the first reaction I found that what was really bothering me could be boiled down more simply. He just hadn’t made himself clear enough, hadn’t offered definitive examples of how we all weren’t self-supporting. I didn’t disagree with the principle, I felt misled by the lack of information which led me to feel manipulated for a reason I couldn’t understand. I don’t like feeling manipulated anymore. So, I emailed him and said his argument didn’t hold water because he hadn’t offered us concrete examples of where AA was falling down in its financial responsibilities. Prior to emailing him, I made use of some oldtimers’ experience I was taught. I read and re-read that email many times then ran it past at least two people I trust before I sent it. I was told about writing letters in haste and sending them without the proper thought process and how that got me in trouble so many times. I try not to do that today.

He responded. Very helpfully. We then exchanged quite a few additional emails, having a discussion that eventually led to the writing of what I proposed as an article for the Grapevine.

The funny thing is – along the way through this discussion, we’ve had additional misunderstandings and misperceptions. For ex. he thought I didn’t think that AA needed any additional monies. Not true.

The end result is that we are actually both on the same page. He and I were taught by different oldtimers, go about recovery in some different ways, but when you boil it all down to the basics, have the exact same goal. Recovery. We want AA to be there for the newcomers exactly the way it was there for us when we were newcomers.

To that end, we both believe in the Traditions and principles. In this case – self-supporting through our own contributions. He has his idea how to make it work, I have a different idea.

It is my belief that we are falling down when it comes to our Traditions in general. Those of us who’ve been here for a while, the groups that have been here for a while, the oldtimers, are no longer speaking of nor offering the importance of, our Traditions to the membership as a whole. That is my belief. I’d love to see it change.

It was brought to my attention when I was new. We had Traditions meetings. We shared on them as a group. Our sponsors told us that when we were doing 90 in 90 that it was damn well necessary to go to Tradition meetings. I was told that beginners meetings didn’t count towards my 90 in 90. Perhaps many are here to scoff (to quote a phrase) but I’m sober today quite a few years later – they didn’t lie to me. “It works. it really does.”

“Our common welfare should come first; personal recovery depends upon A.A. unity.”

Post from: Blisstree

Speaking Of Money