I think that his messages are an attempt to see where we stand, if I’m still open to …….whatever he’s planning to dish out this next go ’round. I’m not open to anything.

Well, okay, that’s not totally accurate, because if he did make some grand gesture like moving to my town, I’d be open to at least listening to him, but since that’s not going to happen, then I’m back to my original decision – closed, not open.

This last message told me that he’s been speaking to a mutual friend from our past (actually more of an old boyfriend on my side). He said that he told this friend about my kids – their names, ages – about my work, my writing, “you know…. little stuff.”  My family, my work, my entire life – he considers that “little stuff.”  He is a dumb ass and obviously does not get the distinction between what does and does not matter, what is and is not little stuff.

For so long, I thought he was The One That Got Away. Now I realize that things happened just the way that they were supposed to. He came along at a time when I wanted to begin dating again, but was just so scared. Due to our shared past – he was my first love in high school – I felt like I had a safe place to learn how to be in love again. When I look at it that way, our relationship did just what it was supposed to do, just what it did when we were kids, it taught me about being a partner, it reminded me what I have to offer.

I found this today, for The Relationship Column, by Dr. Jeffery Low and I think it explains what I’m trying to say …

If a relationship is meant to be, it will be. If someone is truly “the one,” then you can’t ruin it. The two of you will simply love each other through whatever arises, and work out the problems. If it ends, then that’s what was meant to be. Just because you are very attracted to someone, or think they’re the one for you, doesn’t mean it will work out. Healthy, positive relationships can last a week, a year, ten years, or a lifetime. The value of a relationship is not measured by time, but by the love, joy and learning generated while it lasts.

If you haven’t had a chance yet, don’t forget to enter my book giveaway.

Image credit: Michelle Smith

Post from: Blisstree

If A Relationship Is Meant To Be….

If you are new, then let me introduce myself – I’m Michelle. I’m currently single, after a 1 -1/2 year long relationship. It was a long distance affair and my boyfriend was my first love – we gave it a second try more than 20 years later. Apparently, it didn’t work for him, as I have not heard from him for the past 4 months. He’s had some issues due to the economy – in particular unemployment – but there is no excuse for that sort of bad behavior. I reached out, as both a friend and a loved one and he ignored my attempts. 

I picked up a copy of He’s Just Not That Into You, by Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo, yesterday. (If you’ve got a Target near you, you can find He’s Just Not That Into You for 20% off the publisher’s price.) A single friend of mine has been telling me to read it for ages.

I went straight to the part that has to do with The Disappearing Boyfriend. According to the book, this sort of guy is really, really isn’t into me, because he failed to leave even a post-it saying goodbye. Although in our case, I think it would been more like a text saying, “Can’t do it – good luck.” Instead, I got nothin’.

Until a couple of days ago when he sent me a friend request on Facebook.

Would you judge me if I said that I okayed it? I waited a full day to do so. Does that earn me any points?  I am not a bitter ex, not really even an official ex in this case, but part of me wants this man to see that I’m not moping, that I’m busy and active and have friends that are not him.

So, I might be updating my Facebook status a little more than normal. Any excuse to say, “Life is good,” works for me. 

Image credit: Barnes and Noble.com

Post from: Blisstree

Dating Dames Is Now Relationships

My friend, Jackie, went on a lunch date the other day and while she did not spark with the guy, she did say that he was nice and someone she’d want for a friend.  She said that he seemed my type. For some reason, this really caught my interest. I guess it’s because I trust Jackie, she has a great built-in BS detector and if this guy did not set it off, he’s probably okay. Now she is trying to decide how to approach him with the idea of maybe meeting me. (I nagged her a little).  She only went on the one date with him, maybe it’s not appropriate….. I don’t know. What do you readers think? 

I like to meet new people, but when it comes to dating new people, I get very nervous. Nervous is not the greatest frame of mind to be in when meeting a new man for the first time, but if it wasn’t the first time, I wouldn’t be so nervous. Right?  One of those Catch 22s for sure.

With that in mind, the first date jitters, I decided to take on The Snarkstress’s Challenge and update my look. 

First I purchased a couple of cute, casual, but stylish tops - this is one of them ……………..

click here to see the other one, then I read over this list of First Date Beauty Tips, that Shannon, of Makeup Minute has gathered.

Thanks for the help, ladies!  I was really in need of an update.

What do you do to get ready for a first date? What do you think of my two First Date top choices?

Image credit: Forever 21.com

Post from: Blisstree

Challenging Myself To Overcome the First Date Jitters