But Fully Fertile: A Holistic 12-Week Plan for Optimal Fertility points out that this aversion could be counterproductive to your own efforts at reproduction.

Just like laughter and optimism tend to be contagious, and, conversely, hanging out with someone who is perpetually b*tchy can sour your own mood, some yoga gurus say,

If you want a baby, surround yourself with babies and pregnant women who are throwing off the vibration of babies and pregnancy. Expose yourself to them and allow those vibrations to be magnetized to your aura so that you are surrounded by positive and fertile pregnancy energy.

I dig that advice. Especially since I just said farewell to my eight month pregnant pal (who humored me with a big belly-to-belly rub to enhance the baby vibes) and we are hosting another expecting couple and their almost two year old for the holiday weekend. Babies everywhere!

What do you think about this advice? Does surrounding yourself with baby/pregnancy aura make sense to you, or is the presence of so much fertility sometimes a little too much to bear?

Post from: Blisstree

Rub Some of That Baby Aura on Me

So many women who are trying to conceive wonder if quitting their jobs would reduce their stress, and, therefore, enhance their chances of getting pregnant…Here’s the problem. So much of what we do for a living shapes our ego identity…

This got me to thinking…

Am I defined by my job? Is what I do from 9-5 Monday through Friday (and then some) what I choose as the most important part of my identity?

For me, that answer is no.

I like what I do. I care about the work that I do. But if someone were to ask me, “who are you?” I probably wouldn’t refer to the job that pays me until much further down the list.

At the same time, I had a hard time with posting during Celebrity Week because I didn’t want to define hard-working women by their fertility and methods of conception above their careers and considerable accomplishments.

So then, what defines me?
A few months ago, I made the conscious decision to stop using the term “infertile,” because I don’t think it’s productive or helpful to define myself as something I don’t want to be.

The other evening, on the eve of our anniversary of ten years together, my partner and I sat on our little balcony, popped open a bottle of champagne (FET cycle hasn’t started yet) and started listing our favorite moments, times, events, things from the last ten years. Everything from life-changing experiences (trekking to Macchu Picchu) to mundane moments that have simply stuck in our collective memory (shared jokes, strange friends).

We were there until the sun went down.

Ladies, this little celebration was so affirming, so energizing, so necessary.  Not only did it remind me that I am not defined by my lack of ovaries, it gave me example after example after example of how wonderful my life has been, and is, in so many ways.

And that there is more to life than the next cycle, the next shot, the next two week wait. Those things are a part of me, but they aren’t all of me.

Beyond fertility, what defines you?

Post from: Blisstree

What Defines You? Is It Your (In)Fertility?

If you haven’t noticed, I am loving this book. Just loving it. It is at my bedside. I read at least a few pages every day. It soothes me. It makes me feel just a little more in control of my destiny by allowing me to accept that I am not in control of some aspects of it. Does that make sense? When I first received a copy to review, I had every intention of using it as a future Freebie Friday gift.

I am really sorry ladies, if you want this book you will have to pry it from my hands, or get one for yourself. Because I refuse to part with it.

I love the actual feel of the book. (Sorry, I do judge a book by its cover, and the quality of paper it is written on, and the size and the heft of it in my hand…) I love the things I have learned about my body and my self. Most importantly, I love the way reading Fully Fertile makes me feel. Peaceful. Content. More ready to accept a child into my life, even if its not in the way I originally dreamed.

When I showed the book to my (very pregnant) best friend when she was over for a visit, she remarked, “This feels like something that reaches beyond fertility. These lessons feel like they are for your whole life.”

Holistic = whole body = whole life

Beth Heller, one of the three authors of the book and founders of Pulling Down the Moon recently emailed me when she noticed Fully Fertile mentioned here at Fertility Notes to let me know that:

we’re encouraging women across the country to read our book together in Fully Fertile Book Groups.  We piloted the program in Chicago last October and it was great!  We have another group up and running in a Chicago suburb and lots of inquiries from folks interested in starting groups across the country.   In the book clubs, women agree to meet for 13 weeks and work through the book together.  They can meet at a coffee shop, the library, someone’s home…wherever.  Each week a woman from the group “leads” the chapter.  We provide a journaling exercise, discussion questions and a group exercise/”ritual” for each week.  What unfolds is a really unique support group experience as women find motivation, friendship and discover their inner goddess.

One of our biggest missions at the Moon is to provide community and sanctuary for women who are struggling to build family.  Folks can contact us through the website if they’d like to start a group or find one in their area.

These reading groups are peer-led and free and participants receive additional discounts on PDtM products and services.

I heart these ladies.

I’m feeling like I should add some sort of note here that lets you know that I am not affiliated with PDtM in any way and I’m not receiving any sort of compensation for my mentioning or promoting their book. I did receive a complimentary copy of Fully Fertile to review, which I feel has been a priceless gift.

Stay tuned for more thoughts on Fully Fertile and how I am incorporating it’s lessons into my current cycle and beyond.

Post from: Blisstree

Start a Fully Fertile Book Club

flows within us and around us, giving all things life, animation, warmth and form. Similar to electricity, Qi is invisible but its effects can be seen. When the Qi is flowing in harmony, the body is able to take care of itself. However, the flow of Qi can become obstructed or unbalanced.

And balancing and freeing up that Qi is a big part of what acupuncture can do for you – get it flowing smoothly again throughout your body and more importantly, to those baby-making parts that need it. But you don’t need to rely on those little needles to get your Qi back in check. There are lot of things you can do to help.

Perhaps I shouldn’t say “do” because what restores your Qi isn’t necessarily doing, it’s just being. More from Fully Fertile:

most of your daily activities deplete Qi. Working, playing, worrying, and exercising all cost us some Qi. We develop or cultivate our Qi by eating nutritious, well-cooked foods, meditating, practicing Tai Chi or yoga, walking for pleasure, appreciating art and music and other types of restorative or non-activities.

In other words, its about finding a balance.

Fully Fertile recommends keeping a Qi Drain/Qi Gain journal, if only for a week or so to recognize which side of the equation is off for you. It didn’t take more than a few lines for me to figure it out.

Lately, I had been feeling a lot of anxiety related to work and multiple pending projects, and that had begun to seep into my personal life, I am sure to the detriment of my fertility (and my relationship with Michael). “You are being awful,” he said to me at one point last week. And I couldn’t argue. Do you ever have those moments when as words are actually coming out of your mouth you think to yourself, wow, I am being an *sshole, but you keep talking anyway? I was having a lot of those moments. So reading this chapter and really thinking about that balance and working towards even-ing it out again couldn’t have come at a better time. I was putting so much of my time into doing, that there was really no time left for being. Every time I sat on the couch with Michael, I felt guilty. Every moment I wasn’t at my computer I was seeing as a lost moment, when really it is the opposite.

So this is what I have been doing to cultivate my Qi:

• I went kayaking – a smooth, midweek, peaceful jaunt up the river and back, through the reeds. Being in the water is my ultimate meditation and I think I somehow forgot that;
• I bought a kayak - in the hopes of not forgetting that again;
• I spent all of Sunday morning sitting on my balcony in the sun reading a book (guess which one) and gently reminding myself that Monday didn’t matter, at least not yet. This moment in time was for me; and then
• I spent Sunday afternoon playing with my in-laws dogs and basking in the sun. Weekends are not made for working. This is my new mantra

This week has been easy to fit in some Qi time because my boss has been on vacation. Let’s see if my resolve and my balance maintains once she’s back.

What are some things that you do to cultivate your Qi?

Post from: Blisstree

What are You Doing to Cultivate Your Qi?

Tonight around 7 p.m.

I went to a yoga class that absolutely kicked *ss (and kicked my *ass to boot). It was fabulous. It was wonderful. It was hard!!! Holy crap is your body supposed to do that? Frankly, I was amazed at what my own body was doing. I had no idea.

Unlike the morning classes taught by a very new-agey, very talky and slow-moving lady, tonight’s class was fast-paced, incredibly challenging and not for the stiff. I was forewarned by a yoga-fiend friend that this particular instructor was very hands on. Think you are at your maximum capacity in that stretch? He’ll push your legs down a little further, readjust you arms so you can reach a little further. Being a newbie to class, I received lots of little adjustments (which I absolutely appreciated). My friend had also told me he was very good.

And he was. (and cute too!)

Oh sorry. Did I say that? I was just focusing on the here and now, like he told me to and the here and the now was a very handsome man pushing my heels down a little further into downward dog.

In college, my freshman advisor advised me to choose classes based on the professor rather than the subject matter. She (rightly) steered me clear of the old geezer teaching the Hemingway class. “He’s so old and crotchety; you’ll want to shoot yourself by the end of the semester.” And steered me towards a fabulous Japanese Fiction class taught by a brilliant and patient woman I will never forget (thank you, Professor Viswanathan). I suppose the same can be said for yoga – it is really all about your teacher.

What’s even better is that we covered a great deal of poses discussed in Fully Fertile: A 12-Week Plan for Optimal Fertility, my current favorite book, meant to enhance fertility.

Bonus.

So, I need a “do over” for my yoga poll. Have you taken it yet?

Post from: Blisstree

A Yoga Epiphany

But now I am ready to crack them open again. Start where I left off. And, most important, share what I’ve found with you.

You might recall my little teaser about Fully Fertile: A 12-Week Plan for Optimal Fertility a month ago. This book, created by the founders of Pulling Down the Moon, a Chicago-based holistic fertility center, really does intrigue me. The book is divided into three sections: the first dealing with the body, the second the mind (dealing with stressors, disappointment, etc) and lastly, the spirit and by that, they mean exploring the value of breath, meditation, visualization and, if you’re into it, prayer. I am not going to let this book collect any more dust. Look for a review soon.

I also have a similarly titled tome called The Mind-Body Fertility Connection: The True Pathway to Conception (oh, and I have more than one…future freebie friday item, hmm?) Once again, be on the look out for a future review.

In the meantime, let me share with you a great new site called All Thumbs Reviews, brought to you by some fantastic bloggers Lori and Chicklet. Their latest review is of The Fertility Journal: A Day-to-Day Guide to Getting Pregnant, which based on Chicklet’s assessment, some of you may find quite useful, others not so much. Chicklet gives it one thumb up, one down and has issues with the design, size and overall lack of bibliographical info for the numerous facts and figures it shares. But, I encourage you to go to the full review to read, you know, the full review.

Hey, you have entered the latest Freebie Friday giveaway, right?

Post from: Blisstree

Summer Reading – Some Fertile Words

From a mystical standpoint, the breath is believed to bring prana, or life-energy, into the body. This life-energy is considered divine, the spark that illuminates all beings. When we are full of prana, we are healthy and at peace mentally and spiritually. For fertility, it stands to reason that we want to maximize prana.

that sounds reasonable to me. How do we gain prana? According to Fully Fertile,

• Deep, mindful breathing
• Eating non-processed, organic foods
• Interaction with/contemplation of nature
• Prayer

How do we lose it?

• Stress
• Physical Illness
• Obsessive thought (what? are you saying thinking about something you want 24/7 isn’t a good idea? oh.)
• Strenuous exercise
• Poor diet, too little/too much food

Its funny, I decided to give yoga a second chance just to get more mindful of my own body and the mind/body connection, you know, to get my head right. I really hadn’t been thinking about it (at least not consciously) as a tool to facilitate my fertility. But the more I read, the more it seems it could do just that.

Bonus.

What are your thoughts on yoga? Weigh in on Fertility Notes’ latest poll.

Post from: Blisstree

Maximizing Prana for Fertility’s Sake