• Gaining Approval – You obviously want the guy friends to like you.  You know their opinion matters, so you want it to be a positive one.  But the stress that comes with that usually makes it really difficult to act yourself around them.  Focus on being relaxed and don’t go overboard with trying to impress them.  A small impression is better than a bad one, so don’t work too hard at getting them to like you…you will end up not acting like yourself.  If you are loving and good to your boyfriend, then their approval is irrelevant.

• Possessiveness – A lot of times you will feel like you want your boyfriend all to yourself.  Why does he need time with his friends without you?  Can’t you all hangout together?  It is a healthy part of a relationship to develop some independence.  There are things that he enjoys with the guys that you probably don’t enjoy in the same way, so give him space.  You will want some times with your girlfriends without him around as well!

• Detective Work – Be careful not to use your boyfriend’s friends as a way to find out about his exes and his past.  If he hasn’t shared something with you, then it’s not a good idea to try to find out from his friends…it will just create a completely messy situation for everyone involved.  Their loyalty is to him not you, so everyone will be confused and angry and suspicious.  Yes, they have probably known him for a long time and know lots of tidbits about him that you will never know, but leave the past in the past.

The relationship you have with your boyfriend’s guy friends is important to maintain in a healthy and balanced way.  Most importantly just love your boyfriend for being a good friend to his friends by respecting his time alone with them.

Image: sxc.hu

Post from: Blisstree

Dealing With Your Boyfriend’s Guy Friends

Thoughts? Opinions?

Uh, violent reactions perhaps?

I’m one of them who thinks that it is possible to be just friends with a guy. But I have to admit that if we are to bring “attraction” into the equation, it can definitely complicate the friendship. Hands down. Especially when everything’s one-sided. Ugh. Train-wreck.

Here’s the argument.

I actually went ahead and did what the he said I should do to “ease my doubts” about this theory. I asked the questions and I got an almost-verbatim set of responses.

• ME: question
  HIM: yep?
  ME: do you have any girl-friends who you want to only ever stay friends with?
  HIM: yep
  HIM: is this for dating dames or something?
  ME: yes sort of
  ME: why wouldn’t you want anything more with them?
  ME: pssst
  HIM: hmmm…
  HIM: well, I’m not attracted to them…
  HIM: they’re not attracted to me…
  HIM: either of those reasons.
  ME: do you have any girl friends who you’d like to get together with?
  ME: psssst!
  HIM: well, with ****, but just for [coughs].
  ME: just a simple yes or no will do
  HIM: yes
  ME: but you answered my next question

Weirdness. After that conversation, I’m finding myself inching towards the belief that all men do think alike. No exception. Hahaha.

Here’s a way to validate the claim.

I guess we, the women, can continue to think that our guy friends remain unaffected. According to the logic used, we’ve got 3 good points we can use as criteria then just apply the process of elimination. However, it won’t affect the fact that we’ve already proven that the initial statement made in this post is true.

The presence of attraction dooms the friendship between man and woman.

Tip: If you’ve never considered this guy friend of yours before, perhaps it’s a good time to do so. Especially if you can come up with a positive answer to the “why not?” question. However, if you already know for certain that it’ll never happen then you’ve got to re-think the friendship. Sad but it’s only fair, right?

You can also check out:
The Friend Zone
When do you call it a date?

Post from: Blisstree

In the Spotlight: The Guy Friend