More than a decade after the Internet revolutionized dating — about two million Americans met their spouses online, by one measure — the sites face a new challenge: keeping these couples together. While most sites started out focusing on dating, they are increasingly using their success in the marriage arena as a marketing tool — making the stakes higher if these unions start to go south.

While many happily married couples say they may never have found a mate offline, there are already indications that meeting a spouse on the Web comes with its own set of potential pitfalls. Some divorce cases, for example, highlight false claims made in the online profiles that led to the initial attraction. In addition, of course, there are the natural perils that can come with getting to know a person virtually instead of the old-fashioned way.  Full Article

Do you really think that it matters whether you meet a person online or the old-fashioned way – when it comes to some being less than honest in the image they impress upon you?

I don’t believe as many people intend to be “dishonest” in their profile building in the online dating arena, but rather, they build a profile based on how they view themselves.  Precisely why I think it’s important for everyone who places an online profile to have friends or a trusted family member review it for little bits that may seem exaggerated or untrue to the outside world.

 As an example, if a person says they are “average size” they very well could be “average size” in their world – but that may mean large or even thin in your world.  It might be worthwhile to stress in no uncertain terms early in the email exchanges, precisely what it is that you seek or what it is that you know you should avoid. 

 After you walk down the isle is not the best time to begin sharing those little quirks. 

With that said, I don’t think online dating businesses should place so much effort in the “keeping marriages together forever” aspect.  At some point, the business has to say they did their part and leave it up to the couple to do theirs.

Post from: Blisstree

Mismatched via Online Dating

When I was very small I spent a great deal of time with them due to my older brother being so ill.

There were so many nights that I’d have my grandma brush my hair and tell me about the time when she and grandpa met.

Grandma was working in an old time fountain shop when a sailor walked in off the street one day. There was no conversation exchanged other than the typical, ordering, paying and leaving. When grandpa walked out the door my grandmother turned to her friend and said, “That’s the man I am going to marry.”

Later that day grandma went and broke off her existing engagement and waited a very long 6 months or so till that sailor would come back in town.

He did and they dated a very short time and married. They were married 54 years when grandpa passed away. Prior to this he had survived 7 heart attacks and even World War II. They had five children including my mother.

The night grandpa passed away I was able to be there. I stood back in the corner of his hospital room feeling almost as if the space around grandpa’s bed was sacred space and should not be disturbed.

I heard my grandma and grandpa whispering to each other a bit and then I heard grandma lean over and say, “it’s ok, you can go now.”  And within a couple of minutes of my grandmother giving him her blessing and a kiss on the cheek - my grandfather was gone.

This was a man that held onto the woman he loved even through his own pain. He could not and would not leave her until she assured him she would be ok. He was always so concerned that some relatives would place my grandmother in a nursing home and take all she had left. Grandpa was an intuitive man because that’s exactly what did happen.

Today my grandmother lives in a nursing home dying a slow, painful and very lonely death. She doesn’t remember much, which is so sad – when she can’t remember the greatest love story I have ever known.

Perhaps that was one of the biggest challenges I faced when I was single and dating.  I had always had the perfect love, the perfect marriage – the perfect husband to compare everyone to.

The one comfort I have in the man I chose to marry is that he was one that both grandma and grandpa both approved of. 

In honor of my grandparents and the inspiration they were to me and so many who many be hoping for a love that powerful…I wanted to share the tale of Frank and Carrie.

Post from: Blisstree

The greatest love story I know…

I was fortunate to be part of the group to whom she relayed her very cute love story.

Frida grew up in a very traditional Greek Family in Australia, which means they’re very conservative and strict. She had 4 other sisters and they weren’t allowed to go out with boys. They were oftenly accompanied by their father to wherever they wish to go. The night she saw Blondie was an example of such a situation.

Frida and her sisters, together with their father, went to the cinema. She saw a man with blond hair, which explains the nick name Blondie, and immediately took a liking to him. She was totally smitten, she told us. But the guy didn’t notice her at all. Since they were not allowed to chat up any guy, the night passed without any hope of meeting this man. So she went home disappointed but still exhilirated with the feelings she have for this guy,which seem to be growing steadily even if she hardly knew him.

Frida would occasionally see the man around town but failed meet or speak to him for fear of her father. She just spoke of Blondie and her feelings for him to her mom, claiming that she has fallen in love with this man.

Few weeks later, one of her sisters come rushing into the house one day bearing news about who else bought the shop across their house but Blondie, himself. Frida couldn’t believe it until she saw him move in and set up the shop, herself. She was deliriously happy.

Soon after the shop opened, she would always make an excuse to buy Fish and Chips from his shop, even if they’re having Roast for dinner. She’d claimed that she prefers Fish and Chips instead and of she went to buy them herself. This gave her the opportunity to get to know Blondie better. They graduated from the usual greetings to occasional conversations about each other’s interests, one of those were the music that they listen to. He started lending her his albums until she had quite a few in her room that she listens to.

However, here comes the day when Frida’s father caught wind of what was going on and went to speak to her about it. Well, it was more like her father telling her that she wasn’t allowed to speak to Blondie or go to his shop ever again. She was devasted but she knew she had to obey her father but she requested that she’d return all the Blondie’s albums, which were still with her.

And that she did. Frida went to the shop bearing the albums and upon seeing him, she placed them on the counter and said, “I’m just returning your albums. Good-bye.” The confused Blondie asked her to wait and tell him what it meant. She couldn’t begin to explain but she did her best. He then told her, “You must know that I have feelings for you. And if it’s alright with you then I will ask your father for your hand in marriage .” She was 19, he was 21.

And they’ve been married for 32 years. Amazing, isn’t it? Seeing them together that time, I can say that they still love each other very much. It was a wonderful sight and very encouraging for a single woman like me.

Yes, folks, this is a true story. Can you imagine meeting your future life partner in the most commonest of places? And even if you are in a hopeless situation, it wouldn’t hinder love from happening. Frida and Blondie never went on a date, never had that long-engagement or even have the boyfriend/girlfriend relationship but it worked out anyway.

I really enjoyed hearing this story.

If you have a love story to tell, do share it with us. It just might help someone else find hope in finding real love. Just send us an email at sasha@b5media.com.

ªNot his real name

Post from: Blisstree

Frida’s Story

Dawn Ricci is an expert who knows something about infidelity. She’s a private eye who’s been in business tailing cheating spouses for 14 years.

“In a three-month period,” Ricci said, “there were 211 women who hired our company to follow their husbands. There were 109 men that we were hired by to follow their wives.”

If Ricci’s business is typical, it looks as if men are cheating twice as much as women. But Ricci said women are catching up quickly.

Evolutionary anthropologist Helen Fisher says she doesn’t believe women are naturally more monogamous than men.

“I think we’re going to come to find, as women become more economically powerful and express their sexuality more during the course of this century, that women are just as adulterous as men,” she said.

Fisher’s evidence begins in the bird world.

“Warbler females seem to have a call or a song that they give out when their husband is out of town in order to attract extra mates,” she said.

And in most mammalian species, Fisher said, both the male and the female are totally promiscuous

According to Fisher, it’s rooted in the Stone Age. “Millions of years ago, if a woman had an extra lover, she would get extra meat from that male. She could get extra protection from that male,” she said.

And she could get extra sex as well.

20/20 spoke with a woman, who asked to be identified only as Jennifer, who was happily married for five years, but was until recently seeing another man. She said no one, including her husband, can provide everything — especially good sex.

“You need one that their touch makes every hair on your body stand on end and just makes your heart race a million miles an hour and you haven’t left the bedroom,” she said.

And when she would leave her lover after a night of passionate sex, she said she didn’t have an empty feeling or wonder when she would see him again.

“Complete opposite. It was like, ‘I just had amazing sex, and he’s gone, thank God. I have the bed to myself. ‘ ”

Jennifer is human proof that women today may not be more monogamous than men. Since her lover moved away, she’s been looking for a new sexual partner through an online dating service for spouses who want to fool around.

That’s what keeps Ricci in a business that is growing.

Source

Personally, I believe that everyone has the ability to cheat, the ability to suppress that urge or temptation is another thing. Though I have personally never cheated on a partner, I have been in the position where I was falling out of love and the temptation became increasingly stronger and more difficult to avoid.

Following my divorce, I forced myself to take a year away from dating – regardless of how long you’ve been in any relationship or marriage, there’s still going to be a period of readjustment – of getting in touch with who you are, what you desire, what you need and much more.

Post from: Blisstree

Are Women Naturally More Monogamous Than Men?