It’s important to remember that work life is separate from real life.  Whatever drama might be occurring at home, you never want to bring this to the workplace or let it affect your work in any way.  This is why a quick friendship with a co-worker can be a little tricky.  The behavior that you display in your personal life is definitely not the behavior that you would display at work, but does that mean that you can’t go out for happy hour with co-workers and let off steam about your frustrating work week and completely annoying other co-workers?  But that is so fun!

My advice is to be cautious and keep your guard up for a little while.  Just as you wouldn’t want to jump into bed with one of your co-workers (that is a topic for another day!) because of obvious risks, you want to remember that ruined friendships can also create similar problems to those caused by ruined relationships.

Be social and participate in work events.  Be friendly and meet people.  Talk about issues that are not private and that don’t divulge information that could be used against you at work.  Try to bite your tongue about talking about other co-workers until you know this is someone you can really trust.  Most importantly, don’t drink too much if you go out!  You want your head to be clear so that you can control what you are saying and avoid making a fool of yourself.

Remember that success in your job is extremely important, especially in this economy, and you don’t want anything to jeopardize that.  Friends are important, and it is definitely a huge possibility that friends you meet at work could be some of your best friends for life, but move slowly in these relationships.  Don’t put too much trust in anyone too quickly or you could put yourself and your job at risk.

Image: llawiet on flickr

Post from: Blisstree

Can Co-Workers Be My Friends?

For this particular post, LawyerMom (writer Julieanne’s Mom) was at the helm and she advised someone who had an unfortunate, drunken, after-hours, hook-up with a co-worker. I mention it here, because Holiday Party Season is upon us – my own mom had her work party last Friday. Luckily, Mom was able to handle her margaritas and not embarrass herself (or anyone else). Thanks Mom! 

On to the girl’s details………..

“A terrible lapse in judgment, I know — but I hooked up with a guy I work with after a group happy hour. I regretted it immediately, but the worst part is, he doesn’t. He won’t leave me alone and constantly references our awful, awkward tryst. I’m starting to dread going to the office, and I hardly get any work done because I’m so focused on avoiding him. Now what?”

LawyerMom explains that this hook-up could do a lot more than embarrass a girl. If the news gets out, then she could be subject to termination. LawyerMom advises checking her employment agreement or employee handbook. Some companies have rules against dating within the ranks.

The next step is to look at where they both stand in terms of office hierarchy. If he is superior to her, then it could a case of sexual harassment. LawyerMom says………

“…you have to take some immediate steps. First, reiterate to this guy that the encounter was a mistake and that any advances from him are unwelcome.

Next, even though it’s mortifying, you have to let HR know. Your failure to notify them about a superior’s bad conduct may affect your ability to pursue further remedies. Document any further advances, and keep HR informed. If he continues to harass you, consult an employment lawyer ASAP.”

If she and Hook-Up are equals, then she will have to bite the bullet and talk it out. She needs to make it clear that she is not interested in taking anything further and that she will not tolerate any further intrusive behavior. If it continues, she needs to talk to Human Resources.

If Hook-Up is a subordinate, again they need to have a serious discussion. State clearly that she has no interest in pursuing anything further.  She needs to be firm.

“If your subordinate continues to pursue you, you may want to quietly let a colleague know so you have some evidence that you stopped it.”

LawyerMom goes on to preach some common sense  – don’t drink on an empty stomach and limit your alcohol consumption. 

Mom knows best. Always.

Post from: Blisstree

Mom Knows Best – Avoid the Office Hook-Up