I know we’ll continue to hear this in meetings – ““I was a functioning alcoholic – I had a job, went to work, made money,” etc. etc. And I know those folks will hold fast to that belief. So be it.

Dr. Bob knew…

Pages 175-176;

“I developed two distinct phobias. One was the fear of not sleeping, and the other was the fear of running out of liquor. Not being a man of means, I knew that if I did not stay sober enough to earn money, I would run out of liquor.”

What Bob did was exactly what I did – substituted.

“Most of the time, therefore, I did not take the morning drink which I craved so badly, but instead would fill up on large doses of sedatives to quiet the jitters, which distressed me terribly.”

I had found a different “sedative” but it worked the same.

Then;

“This routine went on with few interruptions for seventeen years. It was really a horrible nightmare, this earning money, getting liquor, smuggling it home, getting drunk, morning jitters, taking large doses of sedatives to make it possible for me to earn more money, and so on ad nauseam.”

Yeah, functional.

Post from: Blisstree

Dr. Bob, Phobias and Functionality

God, keep me from thinking I must share in every meeting, no matter the topic. Keep my mind free from the recital of endless details and give me wings to get to the point. Remind me to guard confidences and to keep still when I feel it is necessary to speak up for someone’s own good.

Release me from the need to straighten out everybody else’s thinking and program. God, I ask for the grace to listen to newcomers. Please help me to remember the patience with which others listened to me when I was new.

Please seal my lips to giving advice, and help me to remember to share only my experience, strength, and hope.

Remind me that my purpose is to fit myself to be of maximum service to You and to the people around me. Help me to remain teachable. Teach me (again) the lesson that, occasionally, it is possible that I may be wrong; and remind me, please, of the freedom that I gain when I am able to promptly admit I am wrong and make amends when necessary.

Help me to remember the difference between making amends and just saying, “I am sorry.” Help me to be a worker among workers, a friend among friends. Please keep me from being a bleeding deacon, and help me to walk the path towards being an elder statesman/stateswoman. Keep me ever mindful that I cannot manage my own life through my own unaided will. I know that I am not a saint; please show me the way to seek You so that I may continue to grow along spiritual lines.

Remind me, please, of Rule 62 to not take myself so damn seriously (It is so easy to take myself way too seriously). Keep me free of gossip, character assassination, and judgment. Remind me that I am not perfect (even though I have humbly asked that my character defects be removed) and shortcomings still arise unexpectedly, to cause damage to others and to myself.

Help me to walk with faith and acceptance, to see good things in unexpected places and talents in unexpected people, and give me the grace to tell them so.

Help me to see that You love each of Your children, and that You do not need my opinion of them or suggestions on what they might deserve.

Thank You very much. Amen.

[Source currently unknown at posting. If you know the source, please pass that info on in the comments. Thanks]

Post from: Blisstree

Old-Timers Prayer

“We must change playmates, playgrounds, and playthings”

Page 100-101: “Assuming we are spiritually fit, we can do all sorts of things alcoholics are not supposed to do. People have said we must not go where liquor is served; we must not have it in our homes; we must shun friends who drink; we must avoid moving pictures which show drinking scenes; we must not go into bars; our friends must hide their bottles if we go to their houses; we mustn’t think or be reminded about alcohol at all. Our experience shows that this is not necessarily so.
We meet these conditions every day. An alcoholic who cannot meet them, still has an alcoholic mind; there is something the matter with his spiritual status. His only chance for sobriety would be some place like the Greenland Ice Cap, and even there an Eskimo might turn up with a bottle of scotch and ruin everything!”

Which is effectively telling us that saying, in AA, that we must change our playmates, playgrounds and playthings isn’t necessarily correct – to the Basic Text of Narcotics Anonymous, which tells us (pg. 16);

“The ultimate weapon for recovery is the recovering addict. We concentrate on recovery and feelings not what we have done in the past. Old friends, places and ideas are often a threat to our recovery. We need to change our playmates, playgrounds and playthings.”

Thoughts?

Post from: Blisstree

Who’s Willing To Tackle This?

Sure, its nice to make all those wonderful plans, goals and resolutions – isn’t it? You sure sound good!

Um Hmmm – until roomie brings the meeting back to reality.

Okay, my God doesn’t have a problem with me making plans. That’s because He reserves the right to change them when He feels it is necessary for the reason He feels it is necessary, because He loves me.

Understand? Got it? LOL

Yeah, I know, it sounds nice to romanticize all those good things we’re aiming for this coming year. Heck, I hope we all achieve every last ounce of happiness we can.

It’s just not reality to give the impression that all you have to do is stay sober and do a lot of praying and it will all come your way. It just doesn’t happen that way.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Post from: Blisstree

Staying In The Moment

So, my roommate, with twelve years of passionate sobriety, isn’t in touch with newcomers eh? That’s a hoot!

And – he kept his share strictly in the first person! I guess in a way he answered your challenge or somehow explained to you that your whining about your troubles wouldn’t be solved by your brain but rather by working the Twelve Steps and changing your thinking.

You took offense. Too bad. You know why you took offense? He told you the truth. He told you what worked for him in a similar situation. You didn’t like the fact that you’d have to work at changing. You want everything to go your way without having to put in the effort.

Sorry, recovery isn’t at all like Burger King. You can’t have it your way!

Post from: Blisstree

Keep Trying – It Won’t Work

When we were drinking (or using or whatever) and we prayed, how often were our prayers answered to our satisfaction? Now that we’re early into recovery, without having practiced the Twelve Steps, how much do you think our praying has changed?

So, if you’re feeling disconnected after a few months, or feeling restless, irritable, and discontented, and think that prayer is the answer, think again.

Oh no! I said prayer isn’t the answer… Well, not right now because of the way we pray when we haven’t learned how to pray rightly.

Rather than praying “Grant me my wishes” we ought to be praying “Thy will be done.” How many know how to do that? Plus, how many of us realize what placing demands upon God really are? Why? Simply because “we discover that we do receive guidance for our lives to just about the extent that we stop making demands upon God to give it to us on order and on our terms.”

Heck, we don’t even realize we’re requiring God to cough up our desires as we wish them to be. We think we’re actually praying and will thus receive what we want.

How discouraging has it been for you to realize that sometimes God’s answers to our prayers is “no!” Or “not now.”

Folks, the easier, softer way out of our troubles is to change through the Twelve Steps, not to simply ask God to remove our troubles expecting Him to fulfill that request because we asked.

Post from: Blisstree

God Is Not A Puppeteer

I get a big thrill out of looking over a vast sea of faces like this with a feeling that possibly some small thing that I did a number of years ago, played an infinitely small part in making this meeting possible. I also get quite a thrill when I think that we all had the same problem. We all did the same things. We all get the same results in proportion to our zeal and enthusiasm and stick-to-itiveness. If you will pardon the injection of a personal note at this time, let me say that I have been in bed five of the last seven months and my strength hasn’t returned as I would like, so my remarks of necessity will be very brief.

But there are two or three things that flashed into my mind on which it would be fitting to lay a little emphasis; one is the simplicity of our Program. Let’s not louse it all up with Freudian complexes and things that are interesting to the scientific mind, but have very little to do with our actual AA work. Our 12 Steps, when simmered down to the last, resolve themselves into the words love and service. We understand what love is and we understand what service is. So let’s bear those two things in mind.

Let us also remember to guard that erring member – the tongue, and if we must use it, let’s use it with kindness and consideration and tolerance.

And one more thing; none of us would be here today if somebody hadn’t taken time to explain things to us, to give us a little pat on the back, to take us to a meeting or two, to have done numerous little kind and thoughtful acts in our behalf. So let us never get the degree of smug complacency so that we’re not willing to extend or attempt to, that help which has been so beneficial to us, to our less fortunate brothers. Thank you very much.”

Dr. Bob passed away in November, 1950. [Hat Tip To Recovery.org]

Post from: Blisstree

Dr. Bob’s Last Message

****************************************

I’m paying attention. To Mary Christine. To dAAve. To a host of others. And I have to re-tell this story. A story I had the absolute pleasure of repeating to an “oldtimer” sitting on his time at a meeting here a few years back.

Many AA groups on Long Island have group anniversaries each year where they combine an eating meeting, a speaker and a dance afterwards. Really festive occasions.

A number of years ago, quite ordinarily as it had become, we began to hear the announcement, as usual, about this particular anniversary meeting and dance being held that month in our area. Not unusually, we were informed of the speaker and the speakers’ sobriety time. In this case the person coming to speak had 37 years sober. Heck, that impresses me!

It felt almost like a slow drumroll as the date closed in and I developed some excited anticipation as did many others. We arrived at the meeting place, did the usual hello’s, saw friends from other groups we hadn’t seen in a while, chit-chatted, and finally ate a fine meal furnished by many volunteers. Eventually the time came when we were asked to find our seats for the meeting and it began. First the readings, the obligatory stories about the group and its history, the announcements about coming events in the area then lastly, the introduction of tonight’s speaker. As I recall it wasn’t too long-winded. Just basically “so and so” from “their home town” who has graciously accepted the invitation to share their 37 years of experience, strength and hope with us this evening. Cool…

A well dressed lady approached the podium. I don’t think I was alone sensing something, something wrong. I’d seen a fair number of speakers approach the podium by now and this just wasn’t right. The suspense did not last long. Once she arrived at the mic, she stated her name like we do and then said something along the lines of “thank you all for inviting me to speak but I’m not sure you’ll want me to stay up here when you hear my first statement.” The feeling began to clear.

Next she offered what amounted to an admission and an apology, saying she knew we expected to hear someone with 37 years sobriety tonight but that she was no longer that person because as of that day she then had 114 days. Wow…

I guess I might say that I’m thankful everyone was too stunned to react poorly because what happened then is one of the most important lessons I’ve learned in recovery. She proceeded to ask permission, receiving it without sound, to tell us exactly how this came about. And then she explained in detail how she worked the program backwards, beginning with cutting back on meetings.

Mary Christine tells us about a man who slowly stopped going to meetings and what he thought as the process grew worse in his head. This sounds soooo similar to what we heard that night years ago and I’ve not forgotten it. I’m not very good at telling jokes, perhaps dAAve has this one in his arsenal – about the alkie who got a flat on a lonely country road, had no jack, saw a farm house a quarter mile away, walked towards the farm house and went through so many negative thoughts that by the time he got to the front door to ask for help with his flat tire he instead cussed the farmer out and told him to keep his f**ing jack!

That ladies’ story about how she worked herself, thought herself, right out of recovery into her next drink is a story I never want to forget. I can’t retell it in its entirety simply because you’d have had to have been there to truly understand. Myself and about 250 others were there.

The deal is to never, ever rest on our laurels because alcohol is a subtle foe! No matter how much sober time I may have I am only one stinking thought (f it) away from that next drink. For me, what has become of paramount importance, is to maintain a conscious contact with the God I understand (the one who loves me unconditionally) and tell that God each and every day that I am thankful for the gift of sobriety and I will do what I can to pass it on. I will continue to make meetings, no matter what. BTW – for those of you who don’t know (and without an explanation except for – this is about to change, thankfully) I make 3-5 meetings a week and haven’t had a drivers license for almost 8 years. Please, don’t go anywhere near telling me or anyone similar to me that you are having trouble making it to meetings. That is just a lame excuse!

I have no idea what has happened to that lady but I certainly owe her a debt of gratitude (and that group for letting her talk) for what she said that night. You never know where what you need will come from…

Post from: Blisstree

37 Years – 114 Days

LET ME OUT!!!

A free man… a free child of His… and I will be forever grateful.

This picture was taken a “number” of years ago lol. You’d never know, unless you’re here, how well I clean up but I have.

Nope, don’t quite look like that anymore. Can you believe that, until recently, I was wearing some really nice Hart Schaffner and Marx suits to work? Miracles. God works miracles…

Oh, btw, I’m the one waaaaay in the back by the tree (haha). Oh, and this is St. Patrick’s Day, 2002 in Savannah. My best friend and I had gotten new ink the day before.

From page 28 in AA’s 12&12;

“Any number of A.A.’s can say to the drifter, “Yes, we were diverted from our childhood faith, too. The overconfidence of youth was too much for us. Of course, we were glad that good home and religious training had given us certain values. We were still sure that we ought to be fairly honest, tolerant, and just, and that we ought to be ambitious and hardworking. We became convinced that such simple rules of fair play and decency would be enough.”

Today is the second anniversary of the day I put down my last cigarette – yeah!

Post from: Blisstree

God Opened The Gates Of Hell

Once again, from Came to Believe;

Heard At Meetings

“Many people pray as though to overcome the will of a reluctant God, instead of taking hold of the willingness of a loving God.”

Wow – oh heck yeah…

“It is wise to pray for the future, but not to worry about it, because we can’t live it until it becomes the present. The depth of our anxiety measures the distance we are from God.”

And I was taught that if God seemed farther away, I ought to check who really moved.

“If we have the opportunity to help in some practical way when our loved ones or other people we are concerned about are in trouble – let’s do so. If there is no such opportunity, let’s pray for them and believe that, in so doing, we are helping to connect their minds to God’s influence. But let’s not expect same-day service. The important part is not to cancel pur prayers by later worrying. (There is a vast difference between being concerned and worrying.) Long-distance, unconditional faith is the best kind.”

Post from: Blisstree

Not To Cancel Our Prayers