Last year I republished “Patterns and Characteristics of Codependence” from CoDA. These are the Recovery Patterns of Codependence.
Codependence

Recovery

Denial Patterns
I have difficulty identifying what I am feeling.

I am aware of my feelings and identify them, often in the moment.

I minimize, alter, or deny how I truly feel.

I embrace my feelings as being valid and important. I am truthful with myself.

I perceive myself as being completely unselfish and dedicated to the well-being of others.

I keep the focus on my own well-being. I know the difference between caring and caretaking.

I’ve been in contact with someone who has a family member with a gambling problem. Since it appears right now that the family member isn’t willing to do what it takes to get help the person who is suffering from the actions of the gambler becomes the priority.
Here is a way out…
Gam-Anon
“The self-help organization of Gam-Anon is a life saving instrument for the spouse, family or close friends of compulsive gamblers. We come into the group feeling alone, frightened, helpless, desperate and ashamed. We hesitated to share problems and failures, fearing none could understand. The Gam-Anon group is warmly accepting …read more

It is time to pay attention to ego. Plain and simple. Practice Steps 2, 3, and 11. Then, by God’s grace, be myself.
Referencing comments from the crosstalk topic and conference approved literature, there is a quote from one of my older posts that Glenn C. put together at Hindsfoot;
“I am trying to avoid sounding overdramatic about this issue, but an A.A. which no longer follows the traditional A.A. program laid down by the good old-timers, will lose its heart and spirit, and its power to transform human lives and lift lost souls out of the miry pit where they had …read more

As a reminder;
The Tablemate was an early A.A. set of beginners lessons entitled ‘Alcoholics Anonymous: An Interpretation of the Twelve Steps,’ put out in the form of a little pamphlet. It was (and still is) the most successful set of A.A. beginners lessons ever devised.
And I’m drawing content from the Hindsfoot site, laboriously prepared by Glenn C. and others… We moved into Discussion No. 3: Inventory and Restitution Part I then Inventory and Restitution Part II, Inventory and Restitution Part III, and now, Discussion No. 4 – Active Work.
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Step No. 12.  Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of …read more

Buddy T. offers to help you at About.com.
Al-Anon Quiz – Are You Troubled By Someone’s Drinking?
“Millions of people are affected by the excessive drinking of someone close. Many times people who are close to alcoholics do not even realize how much they have been affected by someone else’s drinking.”
Buddy offers you this quiz to help you decide whether the Al-Anon Family groups might work for you.
One specific question that rings a bell with me – “Do you feel that if the drinker cared about you, he or she would stop drinking to please you?”
Buddy also offers you a resource for …read more

As a reminder;
The Tablemate was an early A.A. set of beginners lessons entitled ‘Alcoholics Anonymous: An Interpretation of the Twelve Steps,’ put out in the form of a little pamphlet. It was (and still is) the most successful set of A.A. beginners lessons ever devised.
And I’m drawing content from the Hindsfoot site, laboriously prepared by Glenn C. and others… We moved into Discussion No. 3: Inventory and Restitution Part I then Inventory and Restitution Part II, and now, Inventory and Restitution Part III.
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Step No. 10. Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.
In coming …read more

As a reminder;
The Tablemate was an early A.A. set of beginners lessons entitled ‘Alcoholics Anonymous: An Interpretation of the Twelve Steps,’ put out in the form of a little pamphlet. It was (and still is) the most successful set of A.A. beginners lessons ever devised.
And I’m drawing content from the Hindsfoot site, laboriously prepared by Glenn C. and others… We moved into Discussion No. 3: Inventory and Restitution Part I recently, and now, Inventory and Restitution Part II.
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Step No. 8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.

As a reminder;
The Tablemate was an early A.A. set of beginners lessons entitled ‘Alcoholics Anonymous: An Interpretation of the Twelve Steps,’ put out in the form of a little pamphlet. It was (and still is) the most successful set of A.A. beginners lessons ever devised.
And I’m drawing content from the Hindsfoot site, laboriously prepared by Glenn C. and others… We now move into Discussion No. 3: Inventory and Restitution (I)

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Step No. 4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
The intent and purpose of this step is plain. All alcoholics have a definite need for a good self-analysis …read more

As a reminder;
The Tablemate was an early A.A. set of beginners lessons entitled ‘Alcoholics Anonymous: An Interpretation of the Twelve Steps,’ put out in the form of a little pamphlet. It was (and still is) the most successful set of A.A. beginners lessons ever devised.
And I’m drawing content from the Hindsfoot site, laboriously prepared by Glenn C. and others… We are now in Discussion No. 2: The Spiritual Phase (III) (see part I and part II)

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Step No. 7. Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.
The meaning of this step is clear: prayer, humility.

As a reminder;
The Tablemate was an early A.A. set of beginners lessons entitled ‘Alcoholics Anonymous: An Interpretation of the Twelve Steps,’ put out in the form of a little pamphlet. It was (and still is) the most successful set of A.A. beginners lessons ever devised.
And I’m drawing content from the Hindsfoot site, laboriously prepared by Glenn C. and others… We are now in Discussion No. 2: The Spiritual Phase (II) (see part I)

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Step No. 5. Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
1. There is nothing new in this step. …read more