Which can result in the Big Lie…
From “The Language of the Heart,” page 263;
“There are, nevertheless, certain occasions where reckless truth-telling may create widespread havoc and permanent damage to others. Whenever this seems possible, we are likely to find ourselves in a bad jam indeed. We shall be torn between two temptations. When conscience agonizes us enough, we may well cast all prudence and love to the winds. We may try to buy our freedom by telling the brutal truth, no matter who gets hurt or how much. But this is not the usual temptation. It is far more probable …read more

From AA’s Twelve & Twelve, page 86;
“There can be only one consideration which should qualify our desire for a complete disclosure of the damage we have done. That will arise in the occasional situation where to make a full revelation would seriously harm the one to whom we are making amends. Or – quite as important – other people. We cannot, for example, unload a detailed account of extramarital adventuring upon the shoulders of our unsuspecting wife or husband. And even in those cases where such a matter must be discussed, let’s try to avoid harming third parties, whoever they …read more

Doesn’t [always] mean I am guilty…
Listening to newcomers at today’s Noon meeting I heard it again. What I sounded like with the same amount of “sober” time. Especially when I attempted to speak about what my father “did” to me to make me drink. That is until an oldtimer asked me if my father poured any booze down my throat.
From today’s Daily Reflections;
I Am Responsible
“For the readiness to take the full consequences of our past acts, and to take responsibility for the well-being of others at the same time, is the very spirit of Step Nine.”
“The very thing I fear …read more

From today’s Daily Reflection;
“Made direct amends to such people wherever possible”
This reflection speaks of not being able to make amends to those folks who were casual acquaintances. People who passed through our lives briefly or barely. Like those neighbors I used to live near who no doubt heard my late night yelling…
“The only amends I can make to those untraceable individuals, the only ‘changes for the better’ I can offer, are indirect amends made to other people, whose paths briefly cross mine. Courtesy and kindness, regularly practiced, help me to live in emotional balance, at peace with myself.”
Just a personal …read more

“Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.”
First Things First – changing wherever to whenever gives a different meaning…
The Very Spirit;
“The readiness to take the full consequences of our past acts, and to take responsibility for the well-being of others at the same time, is the very spirit of Step Nine.”
Full consequences. Not partial, half, a little bit or just some. Full.
The only exceptions? Cases where our disclosure would cause actual harm.
Not delaying because we are afraid…
“Earnestly asking God’s help and guidance – meanwhile resolving to do the right thing …read more

Today’s Daily Reflections speaks of removing the ground glass in us. Damn – that’s sounds and “feels” painful…
Remember, from the Seventh Step;
“In every case, pain had been the price of admission into a new life.”
I’d asked God for dozens of do-overs, never believing there was any hope. In addition, I sure didn’t exactly perceive that were I to be graced with a new life that, by necessity, it would have to be born through pain!
“But this admission price had purchased more than we expected. It brought a measure of humility, which we soon discovered to be a healer of pain.”
In …read more

Once upon a time when I was a car salesman I lost jobs because I was told I was too honest. Then, and now, I still see polls that show that one of the Top Ten Most Dishonest jobs is a car salesman. So, I’m grateful.
Naturally, I consider that, in “those days,” I was drinking so how honest could I have been? I suppose only my customers could say…
When working an Eighth and Ninth Step there is a lengthy discussion in the Big Book about just exactly how honest we ought to be. The answer, for me, is on page …read more

If you don’t know please ask your sponsor…
From today’s Daily Reflection: “Those Who Still Suffer”
“For us, if we neglect those who are still sick, there is unremitting danger to our own lives and sanity.”
It is my personal opinion (fwiw) that this is a piece of writing that undoes the profundity expressed in meetings that the newcomer is the most important person in the room. I think whoever made that statement up about the newcomer needed to say something they thought made them sound important.
When you get down to reality, in a belief system based on a Higher Power, each and …read more

Keep your big mouth shut!
This, for me, goes a very long way to defining humility.
I was always Johnny-On-The-Spot when someone was troubled, in harms’ way or hurt. It seemed that accidents happened close by and I’d be there to help. But I had a motive despite the coincidental nature of most of these circumstances.
I wanted attention. I wanted someone to pay attention to me, to reward me. Self-centered in the extreme because if I didn’t receive attention or reward I got angry and pouted. Of true humility I knew absolutely nothing.
Then came AA and wise oldtime AA members including Matt …read more

My friend asked and I’ll try…
My first thought relating to how pride aims at the destruction of others comes from the term “character assassination.”
Suppose for a moment that you’ve worked on a project for your company for months finally arriving at what you believe in your heart is a magnificent piece of work.
Your co-worker has also worked on a similar project and has the same feelings about his/hers.
The boss chooses their project for the honors. And you begin a campaign of character assassination maligning anything good about your fellow worker, raising doubt about anything they’ve ever accomplished. You tell everybody …read more