Unlike a child who has an IR-3 visa, a child who enters the country on an IR-4 visa will not receive their American citizenship until their adoption is complete in the United States.

Post from: Blisstree

What is an IR-4 Visa?

There are five great reasons to re-adopt your child.

1. A Legal and Binding Birth Certificate

Life a marriage certificate, your child will often need a copy of their birth certificate. They will need it for their driver’s license, their marriage licence, bank accounts, etc. It will make the process much easier to have a birth certificate from a state department.

Anyone have difficulty getting a marriage license from an island wedding?

2. A Legal Name Change

For children born in countries like Guatemala a legal name change most likely needs to be completed. This is the time to do so.

3. Not all States Recognize a Foreign Adoption Decree (and even I did not know this).

There are 18 states, DC, and four U.S. Territories that have no statutory provisions for international adoptions. So, they do not have to recognize an international decree.

• Alabama
• Arizona
• Kentucky
• Louisiana
• Michigan
• Mississippi
• Nebraska
• Nevada
• New Jersey
• New York
• Rhode Island
• South Dakota
• Utah
• Virginia
• West Virginia
• Wyoming
• American Samoa
• Guam
• Puerto Rico
• U.S. Virgin Islands

4. What if you move to one of those states?

We were lucky to move out of one of those states but we made sure that our will prefaced our son as our adopted son, Alexander, to ensure that he would be seen as a legal heir.

5. Nostalgia

In my heart, the Russian and Guatemalan birth certificates for my boys are precious. I certainly don’t want them stained because someone as Little League spilled coffee on them.

Post from: Blisstree

Five Reasons to Re-Adopt in the U.S.

However, AJ apparently had H Pylori since near birth and the bacteria have caused him chronic Gastritis, an inflammatory response to the infection that actually damages the lining in the stomach. In his case, he can no longer tolerate any gluten or casein and high acid foods like tomatoes.

The most unfortunate thing about H Pylori is that it can come back, especially if the bacteria is embedded deep into the stomach lining like AJ’s probably was.

Now, because we have experienced all of this before we made sure that Gus was tested for H Pylori (and all of the other parasites that can come with internationally adopted children). Of course, Gus is positive for it…and so, again, is AJ.

What we found out this time, though is that it is more common in the U.S. than we originally thought.

Additionally, we also found that it is harder to eradicate it than we wanted and we don’t know who gave it to whom. It looks like it is not a case of the “cart before the horse” but rather, a joining of two brothers with the same illness. The bacteria seems to be transmitted by saliva or by fecal matter from poor sanitary conditions. In fact, it can be from flooding, sewage water, (or lack of clean water), or personal hygiene. So, both boys could have come in contact with the bacteria in their first homes. But, realistically, we will never know. All we do know is that we have to get rid of it.

Post from: Blisstree

H Pylori, The Second Time Around; More Prevelant Than You May Think

According to John Klosek, Phd. the severity of a language delay can depend on a child’s age, native language, and the culture. In the Maine Adoption Placement Service’s Musings, Summer 1992, Klosek has some helpful tips to aid parents in teaching their children the new language.

1. Talk about everything that is going on as it is happening. Make everything understandable but don’t oversimplify. “That is a blue balloon” works just as well as “That blue balloon”.

2. Speak a little slower but not so slow that it is distorted.

3. If your child is old enough to read and writed label common objects in the house just like if an English speaking child were learning to read. They will pick up print faster this way.

4. Make language learning reciprocal if they speak the other language. You can learn too!

5. Play games like Hangman, Simon Says, Go Fish, etc.

6. Get computer games.

7. Find other children with the same language background for them to play with. It will make them more comfortable.

8. Make sure your school has a bilingual program AND that they are tested in their native language.

9. Understand that most children will go through a silent period.

AJ went through a very long silent period due to trauma and stress. It is very common with children who are learning a new language. Many will come out of the silent period with many words because they have been soaking up language. AJ did not, unfortunately. He just did not understand language at his young age.

I believe that most of his first two years were silent due to ear problems and because his care-givers spoke at him so he never truly understood Russian. To make a language transition would have been much too difficult for him. He had to start at square one. And, I believe he did.

Now, at age 5 his language skills qualify at about age 4.5. He has been home with us for almost 4 years.

Post from: Blisstree

New Language for Adoptive Children

They told me that that having children was supposed to be easy. That attachment and bonding came so naturally that there was no need to work on it, that children were resilient and that they would just blend right into our lives.

That was not so with AJ. Life was very difficult. I remember, very clearly, the first time he got into the silverware drawer, despite the baby-proofing. He tried to stick a corn-cob holder into his eye. He had no knowledge of what it might do.

With Gus…it has been seamless. Like, I guess it is supposed to be. Oh, we have the sleepless nights and the teething but we don’t have the attachment fights, the sensory issues, the horrible feeding problems and the sickness so horrific that he is miserable.

If someone had told me that adoption was supposed to be this way I would have told them they were lieing, that adoption is the hardest thing in the world.

I am so glad it’s not.

Post from: Blisstree

Is it Supposed to Be This Easy?

I have been exhausted from travel and interrupted sleep, suffering from headaches and my own ear infection, and have done, in my opinion, nothing but laundry, change diapers, and feed Gus since returning home. Not that I’m complaining or anything…

But Friday morning I hit a wall. After two school snow days AJ had another day off because of conferences and I had a day downtown planned. Unfortunately Eric and I spent Thursday night up with Gussie (darn molars) AND AJ (darn nightmares) and I woke with a horrible migraine.

Thankfully, my parents were scheduled to babysit for the day and WANTED to still take them even after I canceled a fabulous event. They took the boys, I took a three hour nap, and I dreamed about meeting Monica Potter.

I watched Trust Me last week in preparation for the event and loved it. The ad world, two smokin’ men, and wit? How much better can you get?

Ah, with Monica Potter as a lead…it can get better. She’s a mom of three, (yes, a REAL mom), a star, and a person. And yes, she probably needs a break on some days just like I do. And, she is probably just as glad to get the break. I just wish my break didn’t come on a day that I had a chance to meet her.

Photo courtesy of Beth from I Should be Folding Laundry…babies are Ivy of Adventures in Babywearing and Asher of Sarahviola.org. Event planned by Beth Feldman from Role Mommy.

Post from: Blisstree

Trust Me, I Needed a Break

When we traveled to Russia we actually had a family doctor who was from Poland who MADE us take Cipro everyday we were there. I think that saved us from some of the issues AJ had or from some of the things we could have picked up.

When returning home with your child the first thing that needs to be done is a visit to the doctor, of course. At this visit he/she MUST be tested for ova/parasites as well as for bacteria. A complete list is at A Healthy Me and EVERY child should have EVERY test even if non-symptomatic.

We actually fired our first pediatrician because he flat out refused to test for H Pylori. I requested he test for it after AJ remained symptomatic 6 months after returning home. He had tested negative for every ova/parasite but had ALL of the H Pylori symptoms. He even had black tarry stools, which can be consistent with either constipation or H Pylori. In his case it was actually both. He was in so much pain from the infection that he just would not go anymore…making everything 10 times worse.

AJ developed severe gastritis that lingers today (he was 2.5 when the H Pylori was found and treated). Our GI told us that it was one of the worst cases he had ever seen and it was one of the youngest patients he had ever had with H Pylori. A year later he still had inflammation and gastritis.

He is doing much better today (age 5) but still has issues with the constipation. The H Pylori also caused a lifetime of lactose intolerance by breaking off all of his villi, the brush border in the intestines that break down lactose.

Next Monday will be the next installment of this series.

Post from: Blisstree

Parasites, an Adoption Series: Returning Home

We were traveling to a country we had never been before, we did not know the language, and we were going to be meeting our son for the first time. Our stomach’s were in knots. Lucky for us, our agency planned a three day stop-over in St. Petersburg to sight-see. It broke up the trip a little and really allowed us to relax and get to know the country.

Before you board that plane headed to the international country of your choice, prepare yourself.

1. Be prepared to travel on short notice and be prepared for unexpected travel arrangements. We did not have to travel on short notice but when our flight was canceled out of Detroit (and we told the airline of our pending court appearance) they were happy to switch us to another airline, first class. Our trip to Guatemala was very short notice but because we had traveled to Russia two years before we knew many of the items to take. We did not know, however, the area we were traveling to or the language. Big mistake on our part.

2. Have a communication plan in place. We learned what we like to call “Toddler Russian”. It was very simple Russian but it allowed us to speak with our son. Everyone else that we needed to speak with spoke English or had a translator for us. Not all countries will have this though so be prepared.

3. Prepare Medically. Check up on your vaccines and be prepared for medical mishaps. We got all of our vaccines before traveling to Russia and made sure to take antibiotics as well as stomach ailments to both Russia and Guatemala. Because of the language barrier you can not always find what you need when you need it. However, hotels are usually pretty good at getting you medication, especially in Guatemala. Russia has a difficult time translating.

4. Some adoption resources say to pack light and buy necessities there. However, my suggestion is to make sure you HAVE the necessities because you never know if you will find them, especially on your first trip. Purchase space saver bags that can be blown out without a vacuum and use them wisely (they work great!). Buying a 2 oz. tube of diaper creme for $8 is not fun.

5. Document everything. I am so glad that I sent daily emails home because it created a journal for me to share with AJ later in life. I took so many pictures I was afraid he would hate the camera but he loves it now.

6. Sight-see if you can. You probably won’t be able to do it with baby or toddler in tow on trip two so do it now. We traveled to St. Petersburg and loved being able to see part of the country. Enjoy. Our trip to Guatemala did not allow sight-seeing because Gus was staying with us in the hotel and he was not legally ours (and therefore we could not leave the hotel). I feel we missed out on a lot of the culture. I plan on going back sometime.

7. Know where you are going. When we traveled to Russia I knew so much about Russia and Arkhangelsk that I was practically a walking encyclopedia. When we traveled to Guatemala on our first trip it was a last minute trip because we had originally been told there would not be a referral. I didn’t know a thing about the area.

8. Buy souvenirs on your first trip if you can. Don’t try to purchase things with a baby or toddler in tow.

9. Don’t bring siblings. This is a time for bonding with your new child and a sibling will only get in the way and demand attention. You will want to focus your attention on your little on, get to know them, deal with medical issues, and find time to relax (if you can).

10. Photo copy all of your documents. Photocopy your passports, visa card, ID, drivers license, dossier, health insurance card, airline tickets, etc. and keep them in a safe place. We carried one copy of everything each in case we were separated. I know this may have been overkill but we felt better knowing that if one of us was injured or lost we both had all of the information we needed. In retrosepct it was smart because we were in a car accident and may have needed them.

11. Bring enough entertainment for yourselves in case the televisions don’t work or you can’t leave the hotel for some reason. On our trip to Russia we brought a DVD player and several movies, books, playing cards, crosswords, etc. We did the same for our trip to Guatemala. You never know when you will be stuck someplace and have absolutely nothing to do or have to entertain a cranky toddler. Baby Einstein and Winnie the Pooh came in handy on our second trip to Russia.

12. Call your bank and Credit Card company to let them know you will be traveling internationally.

13. Pack clothing for dual purposes and pack detergent. You can wash clothing in sinks so pack light on the clothing.

14. Pack convenience items. Use pre-soap dishwash rags, Huggies pre-soap baby wash towels, breakfast bars and prepackaged goods, take and toss items, ziplocs, etc. They are your BEST Friends.

Post from: Blisstree

International Adoption Travel Tips, Trip One

He is now 8 months old, knows the word no, can sit up, babbles, and I think he might just have dimples.

He is a heartbreaker, isn’t he?

Post from: Blisstree

Heartbreaker…New Pictures

I’m going to link you to several different agencies so that you can get an idea of how they do things differently. Our first agency, Adoption Associates, was fantastic at processing paperwork and “crossed every t” before papers went overseas.

Our second has done the same (and I won’t ever mention our second agency until we have finished our adoption).  AAI was extremely thorough when it came to keeping us informed, answering our questions, and getting us information about AJ and our other referral (oh, did I ever tell you about that?).

 JSCIS

Adoption. about 

Adoption Associates 

International Adoption Help 

Cradle of Hope 

Wasatch International Adoptions 

Post from: Blisstree

International Adoption Process