For the next step, Chemistry.com will send you up to 5 matches a day. These matches are suited to your personality, as identified by your Personality Profile quiz. In addition, they will notify you when someone is interested in meeting you.

After that there’s the 1.2.3. MEET Process which is where you get to know members online. You can ask short questions and start emailing at this point.

Chemistry.com has a section called Relationship Central. It’s here that you can find helpful articles on topics like, “Are you Ready to Find the One,” or “Romantic Chemistry, Explained.”

I’m curious if the free communication weekend really gives you a enough time to find someone. A few years back, I tried the Free eHarmony weekend and the process was so slow that I never even got to the email part of the meeting before the weekend was over. If you take part, please come back and let me know how it went.

If you are looking for some online dating guidance, Internet Dating Is Not Like Ordering A Pizza is a big help. Explains the internet dating process and how to best  make it work for you.

Good luck!

Image credit: Michelle Smith

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Free Communication at Chemistry.com

*Date A Cougar. The first thing I have to say about this site is that the front page features a pretty woman in lingerie. Not very subtle, really kind of icky, but it’s billed as “the #1 Cougar Dating Community on the net.” Date A Cougar is a paid service, but there is a free 3 day intro available.  This service is for older woman/younger man couples.

*Smooch.com. Smooch is a free service. Free to put an ad up, free to message, free to email. Free, free, free.

*flirt140.com. Do you tweet?  Twitter users can register with flirt140.com to meet up with other singles. This free service allows the user to tag their account with descriptive words and/or interests. For example, click “biking” and it takes the clicker to a list of members who share that interest.

*Love Me Love My Pets.com.  Is your pet like a member of your family?  Then, check out Love Me Love My Pets.com.  This is a free service and probably a good idea if you have run into people who don’t understand your cat in the past. (Luckily, my boyfriend likes my cat and she’s a little dangerous, trust me).

Good luck!

Image credit: Michelle Smith

Post from: Blisstree

New Online Dating Sites

One of the guys who contacted her is a broker. She’s in real estate. Apparently, he wants her to refer clients to him. What the??  Is he looking for a date or some business?  I can’t imagine contacting someone and saying, “Hey, if you know someone who needs something written, send them to me.”  Weird.

Another one has what he must think is a joke on his profile, in the title line, but it makes no sense whatsoever. Something about,  “…my name says it all if you add a ‘y.’” His name is just a random object. I’m sure it means something to him, but to the casual observer or woman who is looking to possibly date him, it makes him look like a loon.

One guy, no wait, I think it’s the looney joke guy again, has this photo that shows an incredibly cluttered room around him. I think he’s standing next to a couch bed. If he didn’t know how to crop the photo, he should have had someone else do it for him. Most women want to date a man with a clean place and an actual real bed. That’s how a grown-up lives, right?

Gentlemen, please read this book, Internet Dating Is Not Like Ordering A Pizza. You might be a great guy, but if you present yourself as a greedy, looney, slob, the ladies are not going to take the time to get to know you.

Image credit: All Posters.com

Post from: Blisstree

Internet Dating – Avoid the Loons

Congratulations to Robert A. Piacquad.

Thank you to all who entered the giveaway and thank you for reading Dating Dames.

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We Have a Book Winner!

*Many people advise to meet in a coffee shop and I agree with that all the way.  Meeting for coffee means you are out in a public place (for safety), you have a cup, so you’ve got something warm and soothing to hold onto (I’m serious – dating is stressful), and the cup helps to keep you from fidgeting.  A cup of coffee only lasts so long, so there’s an obvious end-point, unless things are going well and you decide to go for seconds.

*Have fun and keep your expectations in check.  Internet dating is a tool, just another way to meet people. It’s only “disastrous” if you believe it’s the answer to your prayers. It’s not, but it could be where you meet someone special. Or not.  See, keep your mind and eyes open.

*Be honest. If you aren’t for someone, better to figure it out in the beginning. Be yourself.

More to follow….

Post from: Blisstree

Dating Advice From the Comments

*Did you know that your husband was The One fairly soon? 
 
No.  It took awhile.  Don’t get me wrong, I liked him a lot.  We got along very well and had a great time together from the beginning.  But I didn’t know he was “the one” until we’d been dating a few months.  And I think this is important for online daters to remember:  the right guy or girl doesn’t get delivered right to your inbox!  You have to take the time to get to know someone.
 
*What made him stand out from the other responses that you got?
 
His profile was nicely written and he had a good picture up.  
 
*Do you have any funny internet dating stories to share? 
 
I had a picture of one guy I was supposed to meet, and in the photo he had a alot of dark, thick, curly hair.  I arrived at the coffee shop where we agreed to meet, and looked around to see if he was there yet.  It didn’t appear that he was, so I grabbed a cup of chai and sat down to read.  At one point a guy came over and said “Excuse me, are you here to meet me?”  I looked up, saw that the guy was completely bald, and laughed.  (I had this “picture” in my mind with all the curly hair.)  I said, “Oh no.  I don’t think so.”  He sat back down.  A few minutes later he got up again and said, “I think I’m supposed to meet you.  Your name is Cherie, right?  I shaved my head earlier today.  That’s probably why you didn’t recognize me.”  I was so surprised at his appearanced I said, “Well what did you do that for!”
 

*Do you have any additional advice that is not in the book? 
 
Just this:  give Internet dating some time.  It’s not always a quick process.  Give it at least six months or a year before you give up on it.  It really IS a great way to meet people.
 
*Where else can readers find you?
 
At the “About Cherie” pages at any one of my blogs (http://www.diabetesnotes.com/about-cherie-burbach/) or via my website:  www.thedifferencenow.com.  
 
*Do you have any other dating how-tos planned?
 
I do, yes!  I’ve got at least one coming out in 2009.  Can’t tell you any more about it because I always like to wait until the book is ready to go.  But you’ll be the first one I tell when it’s out!

Thanks, Cherie!

Post from: Blisstree

Author Interview: Cherie Burbach of “Internet Dating Is Not Like Ordering A Pizza”

Cherie shares advice on all aspects of setting up your online profile, including your pictures, your essay, your intro, and your search wording.  She talks about the next steps – making contact, dating, etc.

She writes in a conversational manner that is easy and entertaining to read. I don’t read a lot of nonfiction books, because my work is nonfiction and I’m immersed in facts and theories and products all day. I found Cherie’s book to be fun and I’m using her ideas to tweak my profile.

She gives great advice on that initial email, for example, keep it simple, direct, and to the point. Make a standard opener and go with it.  I’m not good at the initial email – I let them come to me and I think it’s time to change that approach. With Cherie’s tips I’m going to come up with something succinct and reach out to more men.  (Reach out to more men? That came out oddly…….)  In addition, I have to be less afraid of rejection, because the more people I talk to, the more chances I have to find someone great.  Burbach, herself, went on 60 dates in 6 months before finding her Mr. Right online – and then she married him.

In addition to writing books on dating and poetry, Cherie Burbach blogs here at b5media. You can find her at Career and Kids and the entertainment blog, JLo Stalker, among others.

Cherie is allowing me the opportunity to giveaway one of her books here at Dating Dames. If you’d like to enter the Internet Dating is Not Like Ordering a Pizza giveaway, please leave a comment that has something to do with internet dating – either a tip or a story.  I will be announcing the winner of the book later in the week.

Image credit: Barnes and Noble.com

Post from: Blisstree

Internet Dating is Not Like Ordering A Pizza – Book Review and Giveaway

I think that the problem people run into with internet dating is that their expectations are too high. It’s just a tool, just one more way to meet people. What happens after the people meet, that’s on them, that’s their responsibility. They may find that they have a connection and continue or they might find that they do not and nothing goes anywhere. That’s the way it is with any sort of meeting.  It’s not the fault of internet dating when something does not work out, although I hear people blame it on that time and again.  And con artists or jackasses, well they can be anywhere, behind any turn. A smart woman keeps her eyes open and takes the necessary precautions. A guy isn’t any less a “stranger” if you meet him in a coffee shop and not online. 

And now the advice:

*When you date, go “dutch.” Share in the planning as well as the financial aspect. That way no one will feel that they owe the other party.

*If you feel you’ve made a connection with someone, then suggest group activities that include both of your circle of friends. Someone who has ulterior motives is less likely to act on them in a crowd. (First part, good. That last part sounds overly paranoid to me, but it’s part of his advice).

*If you worry that something might screw the relationship up, then let it out, and get it over with right away. Better to know from the very beginning if you can work through things.

*There are certain warning signs to watch out for. The first is to watch out for the guy who is too smooth. It’s normal for someone to feel awkward and nervous on a date. If your date does not, then it may be that he’s not invested in getting to know you, that he’s a “professional” dater.

*If your date drinks a lot or talks about how he really tied one on the other night, watch out. These could be the sign of a problem drinker.

*If your date is rude to the waitress or exhibits signs of road rage, watch out. Likewise if he appears jealous, or controlling – these are signs of instability.

 

Much of this is common sense to many people, but not everybody goes into a romance with their eyes wide open.

Post from: Blisstree

Avoid the Pitfalls – Internet Dating Advice

At the free service, I have been “favorite-ed” by 5 men.  They have not contacted me in any way, just the favorite-ing. I find this odd. What do they do after that?  Do they think about writing to me?  Do they put me on list of people they will possibly contact? What are they waiting for?  It’s a mystery to me.

Over at Match.com, I’ve been contacted by one guy – he’s written to me twice to tell me that he’s busy and will write later. I did not write anything back after the second time. He lives about an hour away and if he doesn’t have time for an email, he’s not going to have time for a long distance relationship.

Another man, who sounded interesting and looked attractive, sent me an email when I (boldly) contacted him first. He answered it with something that went a bit like this:

I don’t know why I am using this service. I don’t really want to meet anyone, but you wrote a nice email, so I felt that I should answer it. I’ve only been single a short time. Women my age all have children. I miss my own children, who live across the country, too much to spend time with someone else’s children.

First I thought, well of course a damaged, hurting man has written to me – I’m a magnet for a man like that, but I felt bad for the man – he sounded so lonely and sad. (Are you beginning to see why I’m a magnet for a man like that?)  I wrote back and said that it didn’t sound like he was ready yet and that he had to do what felt right, when it felt right, or he wouldn’t be good for anyone. He probably has some outside influence encouraging him to get out there again, you know how well-meaning types can be with their inability to take no for answer. I think that it’s selfish to go into something with that much baggage, but even so, at first I thought about suggesting that we keep things casual.

Then, I thought, “What in the h&*l are you thinking? You do not need another project – you need a healthy available man.”  I’m not desperate. I do not need to settle for someone who doesn’t really want to meet me.  

I read today that Drew Barrymore is not a fan of internet dating or even texting.  I look at her and I can’t imagine her being dateless, she’s just too darn cute and charming, but then again, I bet it’s not easy to ask out a woman like Drew Barrymore.  I’ve read things that lead me to believe that she’s a bit old-fashioned. For example, she said something about her recent ex-boyfriend Justin Long about how he was a “gentleman caller” or “he came to call” or something like that.

Here is what she had to say about dating and the internet:

DREW BARRYMORE hates surfing the Internet for love – because it has taken all the romance out of dating.
The Charlie’s Angels star – who recently split up with the face of computer brand MAC Justin Long – confesses that even text messaging freaks her out – insisting she prefers the old fashioned ways of finding a man.
She says, “When I first started dating, it was like the Pony Express. We had to be frickin’ patient. And now everything is instantaneous. It’s too much! Where is old-fashioned romance and a little bit of mystery?”

She had me until she complained about instantaneous.  I’m not patient. She would be a good fit with Steve, who still is still MIA. That guy seems to feel that the waiting it the good part for some reason.  I’m all for mystery and old-fashioned romance, but I want it quick, baby.  Like this, yes thank you for holding the door for me, now I’ll race you to the car. Lets go!

Post from: Blisstree

Drew Barrymore Is No Fan of Internet Dating

A few days later, I saw the same post listed with very few responses in the comment section.  Surprised me, as the guy is pretty cute and the scenery behind him is very intriguing.  I tried to find out more information, as in where the guy is located, but there’s been no word yet.  

Here’s an excerpt from the post:  

I am posting this special message on behalf of a great friend who supports my blog and jokes it at the same time.  We are talking about a fall on the floor funny kind of guy.  We always talk about him finding the perfect girl and he claims it’s next to impossible, especially on the internet.  So I wanted to test out his theory and see if we could prove him wrong.  He (let’s call him Braveheart) is 28 years old and looking for someone in their 20’s as well.  Location is not an issue. 

Why don’t you take a look and let me know what you think?  Where do you think this picture was taken?  Does it look familiar to somebody, somewhere? 

Post from: Blisstree

Would You Date This Man?