When I packed my bags three days ago and headed to the beach with my five girlfriends (we have been doing this 17 years now) I left my husband a note. It reminded him of Graham’s birthday party Wednesday afternoon and Caleb’s on Sunday. It told him who got which present, which were all wrapped on the kitchen table and ready to go. I packed outfits for Truman (who spent a couple nights with the in-laws since Rick leaves for work before Truman wakes) and laid out his cleats, T-ball jersey and baseball pants so he would be ready for the big game on Saturday. I reminded Rick that there was leftover Old School Jambalaya in the freezer, and packages of hot dogs and buns in the fridge. I said that I knew he was completely capable of taking care of himself, (“I’m 40. I’m a man.”) but that I liked to feel that he couldn’t live without me.

When I packed my bags for this annual beach trip, I packed up my anxiety as well. It wore me on the first day here, reminding me that the most important people in my life are fending for themselves hundreds of miles away. It interrupted my thoughts when I tried to relax, telling me that there were assignments left undone and documents that would still need to be found for Truman’s Kindergarten registration. And, of course, there were those more intangible stresses to labor over, like the fear of growing old and gaining weight and not looking like we did when we were in college.

The six of us were sitting on the beach yesterday, reading Elizabeth Edward’s book Resilience and trying to decide what we thought about John and whether Elizabeth would have stayed with him if she were not terminal. It’s easy to talk about the people you cannot touch. We were caught up on our own world, somewhat oblivious to the others around us – the family with the blond-haired boy who giggled like my son, the two young bikinied girls walking with a group of boys, the beach monger who called us ma’am. They weaved through our vision, breaking our conversation only long enough for us to reminisce about days gone by.

The six of us rarely see each other during the course of the year. We live in different states or cities. We have lives that obligate us and responsibilities that keep us busy. And yet, when we get together for this annual beach trip our lives blend together. We share our dreams and disappointments and the secrets that bind us. It is therapy.

Last night, after eating too much food at a new restaurant here, we did the usual – we lay together in one bed and talked and laughed and played with each other’s hair. We talked about the people we once knew and agreed that being 40 was not all that bed.

And for the first time in three weeks, I slept through the night.

photos, JWJourney

Post from: Blisstree

Every Mother Needs Some Time Away

Elizabeth Edwards' new book will be released May 8

My mind moved with my body in tow through the distance of two rooms, to the open doorway of the bedroom where my mother used to sleep. The bed was empty and I heard my father through the bathroom door. He was retching. It was an awful sound, low and monotone, and I sobbed there, like a baby, on the hallway floor because life was supposed to be different for us.  

(My father tells me now he did not throw up. He was brushing his teeth and sometimes when he brushes his tongue he gags himself and makes that horrible retching sound. I’d rather believe the news of Mom’s death made him sick to his stomach because it’s more endearing that way. But, whatever.)

As idiotic as it sounds, when I read the reports of Elizabeth Edward’s interview on Oprah (scheduled for Thursday), and how she spoke about her husband’s affair, I understood when she said her reaction to her husband’s confession was to cry, scream and vomit. It brought me back to that day, when my mother died and my father threw up, because life had changed forever and ever.

And sometimes you just don’t want it to change. 

John Edwards broke my heart, too. He was supposed to be my president. I had chosen him before 2004, before he played second fiddle to John Kerry. And I was a bigger supporter when he ran again in 2008. I read a story in the New York Times magazine how he would serve as a champion to the underprivileged because, though he is insanely wealthy now, he hails from a humble background. I saw visions of Robert Kennedy in him. He was my candidate; (although my son was determined Obama would win). When Edwards withdrew just before Super Tuesday, so did I, temporarily.

I respected his love for his wife. And she won me over by being solid and loyal. There is no denying he is the more attractive of the two, but he seemed to look beyond that. And when the rumors began to circulate that John was having an affair, I refused to believe them because the John I know is good and honest and loves his wife with a passion – his cancer-survivor wife. The one who hid the lump in her breast as Kerry gave his concession speech to the world.

I don’t blame her for sticking with him, for trying to hold tight to that life she knew before the affair. But life is changed forever for her, like it changed more than a decade ago when her oldest son tragically died, and again in 2004, when she discovered she had breast cancer. Life rarely goes as expected. It sends you to great highs and treacherous lows. How one manages to hold on during those times and keep her sanity says a lot about a person.

I think that must be the value of being Resilient.

Photo, Barnes & Noble

Post from: Blisstree

In Defense of Elizabeth Edwards

I went to a new bookclub meeting last night and some ladies were talking about still holding out for Hillary being the next President. (Interestingly, one of them described herself as a Republican and the other said she and her husband were “very conservative.”)

“Something could happen,” they said.

So I started thinking, “what could happen between now and the Democratic National Convention that would make Hillary the winner?”

* Barack Obama could die, thus leaving her the only candidate on the ballot at the convention.

* Barack Obama could announce that he cheated on Michelle while she was pregnant with one of their daughters. (Wait, no we’re still allowing McCain to run on this adultery platform, so I guess he would have to have murdered his mistress to actual shock us enough to exclude him for philandering. Or does that exemption only apply to Republicans?) This would result in him backing out or most of the Barack delegates shifting sides.

It’s a pretty long shot. But, I still have hope that Barack will ask her to be the Vice President.

I can’t think of anymore scenarios where Hillary would have enough delegates to win the Democratic National Convention.

Can you?

Read more about how you have the power to get women elected to the House of Representatives and The United States Senate at Emily’s List – Come
On Girls! even if they aren’t in your district.

Image Source: Newscom.com

Post from: Blisstree

Hillary Still President?

My husband, Jeremy

:Did you hear about John Edwards?

Tracee: You mean his affair?

Jeremy: Yeah, I guess this means he’s out for Vice President.

Tracee: Why would he be out? John McCain cheated on his wife. He’s up for President.

Jeremy: There’s no way they’re going to pick Edwards now. He cheated on his wife. She has cancer.

Tracee: John McCain’s wife was permanently crippled after a terrible accident and she WAITED for him while he was a POW in the war and he cheated on her many times and then he left her and married a trophy bride one month after he divorced her. And no one seems to care or to think this would ever prevent him from being President.

Jeremy: But that was 30 years ago.

Tracee: So what? I’ve seen no indication that the guy has gone through some kind of awakening.

Jeremy: Don’t you think people should care that Edwards cheated on his wife who’s dying of cancer?

Tracee: Of course people should care. But if philandering disqualifies a candidate from one party, it should disqualify a candidate from the other party too. It’s a double standard. A double standard that seems to ironically only help the party that has held itself up with its “moral superiority” for the last decade. Until it’s their own guy and then it seems to be irrelevant.

Image Sources: Their own campaign websites.

Post from: Blisstree

Edwards & McCain

It’s was such a thrill to see Hillary win last night after her defeat in Iowa. My daughter and I slapped a high five and talked about how a woman might actually be the next Commander in Chief.

Whether it was her teary moment that made her seem more vulnerable or her tough stances on real issues – I am so proud of her and so proud of those in New Hampshire that kept her so relevant.

I heard one male voter on NPR say, The country needs to be mothered right now, so I voted for the mother figure.

That’s as good a reason as any to vote for her. I hadn’t thought of that reason personally. But, really who doesn’t know the mother runs the house and has the most influence at home?

We’re forever talking about the Founding Fathers. Duh, why wouldn’t we try mothering the country?

Here’s to you Hillary and God Bless New Hampshire for keeping the woman in the race in a vital way!

Click on So Sioux Me, where I talk about the kind of positive impact Hillary’s New Hampshire win will have on American girls.

Democratic results were Hillary Clinton (39%), Barack Obama ( 36%), John Edwards (17%).

Republican results were John McCain (37% ), Mitt Romney (32% ) and Mike Huckabee (11% ).

Next primary stops: Michigan (Jan. 15), South Carolina (Republicans, Jan. 19; Democrats Jan. 26), Nevada (Jan. 19) and Florida (Jan. 29). Two dozen states vote on Super Tuesday (where 22 states will host primaries), Feb. 5.

Post from: Blisstree

Hillary Wins New Hampshire

This is no time for apathy!

There are some very important issues that you, as an American, should take a stand on. Want to know how the front candidates stand?

 Well find out.

Barack Obama is at www.barackobama.com.

Hillary Clinton is at www.hillaryclinton.com.

John Edwards is at www.johnedwards.com.

Mike Huckabee is at www.mikehuckabee.com.

Mitt Romney is at www.mittromney.com.

John McCain is at www.johnmccain.com.

Post from: Blisstree

Campaign 2008 Websites

My favorite part of the whole thing was when white, male John Edwards and Barack Obama were calling Hillary Clinton – the only woman ever to run for President – The Status Quo!

Doesn’t that just beat all? Yeah, somebody in this picture represents the status quo . . . but it ain’t the only woman ever to run!

Barack . . . well, he’s half the status quo.

Post from: Blisstree

Face of . . . Status Quo?

She announced that cancer was detected, that it probably had spread and that it is incurable.

Not curable, but treatable.

Which tells us that from now on, our National lexicon about Cancer may have changed.

When we hear the word Cancer…we might discuss it with our loved ones in a different way…in much the same way as we discuss Diabetes.

In other words, it might be possible for Ms. Edwards to live with Cancer, operative word: Live.

With medications, therapies and continued efforts within the medical and research communities for a cure…Mrs. Edwards could find herself in the White House some day.

Godspeed.

Post from: Blisstree

Elizabeth Edwards Announces Cancer Recurrence