My divorce wasn’t of interest to anyone not immediately involved with it. My family was happy. My husband and I were not. His family?  You’d have to ask them for their opinion – I no longer am in contact with any of them. Divorce is the most crazy-making thing I’ve ever survived.

This is my experience with divorce – you love someone and then one day they become a stranger. And not just a harmless stranger you’d pass on the street. No, they become dangerous and combative and then you become a little unhinged yourself and next thing you know you are fighting over stupid things like who gets the camera or the grill.

The Gosselins, their fights are worth a lot more money.

Kate says……..

In an increasingly heated gameof he-said-she-said, Jon Gosselin is blasting back at estranged wife Kate Gosselin and her claims that he violated an arbitrator’s orders by withdrawing $230,000 from a joint bank account from Aug. 10 to Sept. 29.

Jon says………

“I’ve never taken any money out because over 10 years, Kate handled all the banking,” he said. “Over the past four years of doing the show, we accrued $2,250,000. She says in the past week I took $230,000. I have withdrawn roughly $177,000 over the course of a year, which is less than 10 percent of what we made. That’s like my paycheck…She’s hiding money,” he said.

You could buy a lot of cameras and grills with funds like that. Here’s the part I don’t get about divorce – somehow you go from being two people who love and trust each other completely to two people who are enemies airing their dirty laundry to anyone and everyone who will listen. There has to be another way. Is it possible to have a good divorce? 

I’m going to do some research to see what I can find. If you’ve got some advice or some ideas that you’d like me to share, please leave them in the comments.

Image credit: Zuma Press

Post from: Blisstree

Jon & Kate Plus Divorce

On the same day that TLC announced a new makeover of the show, a new name, “Kate Plus 8″ and the dumping of Jon something else was occurring. Jon was already filing papers, take a peek at what became of those papers: (Cease and desist letter)

IMG: TLC

CNN Reports:

“Effective immediately, no production crews are to enter Jon’s family home for any reason,” a letter from his attorney said, according to “The Insider,” which announced the news on CBS’ “The Early Show.” “In the event that anyone enters the marital property, Jon Gosselin will notify the local authorities to effectuate police action against any trespassers.”

As you can see he no longer wants the kids to be on the show, or if he does he wants in on the deal. What do you think is really going on? Is this a parent in a divorce that is striking out at the other? This wouldn’t be the first time a celebrity parent, or any parent for that matter, has struck back at the opposite parent during a divorce.

The show was prepared for Jon’s newest antics. Here’s what they said to People Magazine about the situation:

“We are aware of Jon Gosselin’s recent statements, and remain deeply disappointed at his continued erratic behavior. He and the family were shooting as recently as last Friday, without incident, and his latest comments are grossly inaccurate, without merit and are clearly opportunistic,” TLC said in a statement to PEOPLE. “Despite Jon Gosselin’s repeated self destructive and unprofessional actions, he remains under an exclusive contract with TLC. Direct filming of the children has been currently suspended, pending further conversations between both parents.”

This is just one thing couples have to deal with, some couples will ban certain people from visiting their children, leaving the city/state/country/etc. It seems they do anything to hurt the other parent, even if it means hurting their own children. In this case Jon may say he worries about what all the media does to them, however where were these feelings in the beginning or even the past few years?

Here is Kate Gosselin’s response to People Magazine:

“I’m saddened and confused by Jon’s public media statements. Jon has never expressed any concerns to me about our children being involved in the show and, in fact, is on the record as saying he believes the show benefits our children and was taping on Friday with the kids.

“I check in regularly with each of the kids to be sure they want to participate in and continue with the show and will continue to do so,” Kate, 34, continues. “I do the show for my family because I believe it provides us opportunities we wouldn’t otherwise have. Jon used to share that belief until as recently as the day the network announced the name change of the show and indicated that Jon would have a lesser role in the show. It appears that Jon’s priority is Jon and his interests. My priority remains our children and their well-being.”

Newest reports are stating Jon isn’t being spiteful, even though it looks it and that he has asked the show for a 90 day vacation more or less so he can reconcile with his family and his wife. Does this mean he is trying to get back with her? I thought he was madly in love with Hailey. Well, as some may know, sometimes it takes a split to grow a husband and wife back together stronger than they were before. If that is the situation and the pair get back together would you watch the show?

Post from: Blisstree

Jon & Kate Plus 8: Divorce Heats Up

The Gosselin Family - TLC's Jon & Kate Plus 8 vacation in Hawaii. Photo courtesy of TLC

introducing the girlfriend/boyfriend to the family? Keep in mind that it sounds like Jon and Kate split up long before they announced it and he’s been seeing this “new woman” for a while.

Jon Gosselin was spotted taking a vacation down in France with his girlfriend, Hailey Glassman.  Course now that they are back rumors are spinning every which way from she’s only dating him in order to get her clothes listed to she just wants his money.  The big question is could it be true?  Or the bigger question, is he going through a mid-life crisis?

We all loved him or felt bad for him while the episodes of “Jon & Kate plus 8″ aired, however now many are taking Kate’s side. The man that once let a woman walk all over him is now showing off a younger model while his wife is home taking care of the kids.  Since it is obvious there won’t be a happily ever after between these two I have two questions for you. When is it okay for him to date and when is it okay for him to introduce the girlfriend to the children?

Some believe the following:

-  introduce the girlfriend immediately (AKKKK, you’ve been cheating on mom all along)
-  wait until you know you are madly in love with her  (How long is this?)
-  your child spotted the two of you together so better do it now (you have been lieing and are only telling cause you were caught)
-  after you’ve popped the question (leaves them hurt and feeling left out)
-  experts have said wait 6 months (gives them time to adjust)

To read a bit more on this read this man’s experience on dating and introducing his son to his girlfriend after a divorce.  Keep in mind you want your child to love you and never feel betrayed or abandoned. I just hope Jon has some very trusted council with him and telling him how to help the transition with his kids and any future partners he comes across. What would you suggest?

Post from: Blisstree

Jon Gosselin: Introducing the Girlfriend

I realize my next question can stem some debate but I think this would be a great time to hear everyone’s thoughts. I must ask, is it wrong to spank a child? When and where is the time or place for such a thing?

IMG: TLC

The media has stories right now with titles like:

- Is it Wrong to Spank a Child?
- Kate Gosselin Seen Spanking her Kid
- Is Kate Gosselin losing Control?
- is Kate Gosselin an abusive mother?

What do you think of those titles? I think they got a little spun out of control but it is amazing how fast these reality show people become such huge celebrities to the point that the media will take snaps of them every second of the day to catch something like this. Course we never read the whole story. According to reports and Kate Gosselin herself, she had been on the phone and had told Leah to stop blowing a whistle, she’d warned her and told her a few times already. Finally out of frustration and being ignored Kate got up and smacked Leah’s behind. Leah was heard screaming and crying. (just like any other child with an audience)

I wonder if these kids don’t think they are above all laws and can do whatever they please because they know the cameras are always nearby and they get whatever they desire. I could be wrong but Leah Gosselin probably knew the cameras were nearby and ignored mom. Or was just being a typical child and ignoring mom because she felt like it. What do you think?

In Kate’s defense she told Life & Style Magazine:

“Whether the paparazzi are there or not, I am a mother first. I love my children and when they misbehave, I discipline them as I deem appropriate for the situation.”

I get this and I’m actually happy to see she feels like this. Many times I wonder if a reality show mom or dad can ever be a true mom and dad or if they really are just fakes. The question though is do you think Kate went too far?

In other Gosselin news….. in less than 24 hours we will hear some important news that will be aired on the Jon & Kate Plus 8 reality show Monday Night. Do you think you know what it is? I’m guessing they are going for a divorce.

Post from: Blisstree

Kate Gosselin Spanked Leah

IMG: Mark Arbeit / TLC

The first two seasons were great, but I think the “reality” part of it started getting in the way. Cameras were constantly around, Kate is a control freak, Jon is too laid back, the couple would soon have their entire lives on camera. Many believed this couple would make it after their renewel wedding vows in Hawaii but it only seem to pull them apart more. Rumors are swirling that the couple are both seeing other people, or one is and the other isn’t, etc, the rumors continue. But here’s a thought that some are thinking but others are not.

What about the children in this reality show? Sure we see their cute little faces every week, but that doesn’t really tell us how they are doing. The press is constantly there, asking them questions and now they can possibly see the rumors going around about their parents, I mean they do go shopping. Have the kids seen it? Can they see the stress between their parents? Do children at school ask them questions about it? What do they know? How does reality tv hurt the children and how much will a divorce hurt them?

Post from: Blisstree

Does Reality TV Families Split up Families?

I’ve read about Jon and Kate  Gosselin. Especially about Kate, people really love-to-hate her, which I find oddly fascinating. She’s just a mom, trying to do her best, like any other mom. I don’t get the venom, the hate, the Kate-as-the-devil-ness of it all. People go on about how she speaks to Jon, talking down to him, or whatever, but that’s behavior that I’ve seen in many relationships. It’s unfortunate, but sometimes it’s the way married people relate.

Lately, there have been headlines about Jon’s possible affair (denied) or Kate’s possible affair (denied).  I’m not there with Jon and Kate, I can’t see how they live their lives away from the camera, but I don’t think that these people have had affairs. I can’t imagine anyone with that many kids having the energy to have an affair – I know I’m exhausted daily by my four.

There’s also the issue of no privacy. I can see a flirtation that troubles a marriage springing up – these are regular people with cameras pointed at them all the time, their egos can’t help but be inflated by that attention. Marriage and raising kids – these are challenging endeavors. Even famous people are only human.

Kate has taken to PEOPLE magazine to voice her concerns.

“I don’t know that we’re in the same place anymore, that we want the same thing,” she says quietly. “I’ve been struggling with the question of ‘Who is this person?’ for a while. I remember where I was the first time I heard her name. It’s one of those things where you can try to make it go away, but there’s blaring, red flashing lights.”

The name to which Kate refers belongs to 23-year-old Deanna Hummel, whose brother later claimed she’d been having a months-long affair with Jon.

I’m no marriage counselor, but airing private maritial matters out in such a public arena, how can that help? 

 
Reality TV appears to be hell on marriages – only the Osbourne’s marriage appears to have emerged unscathed. Okay, maybe that’s not the only one, but when I think back to the couples and families I’ve watched – families that a show focused on – they are it. And they’ve made it through addiction and cancer, so I’d say the Osbournes are a forever match. I sure hope that Jon and Kate can figure it out, because otherwise, one of them is going to go broke paying child support.

Image credit: All Posters.com

Post from: Blisstree

Jon and Kate’s Marriage

She had chosen the dogs and the dogs’ names before she told the kids they were even getting dogs. Hello. Fun stealer.

I woke up this morning and thought, “Now I really have to get that dog fixed!” about our puppy.

Oh shut up, America. The secret’s out and I know you’re as broke as me. I didn’t know the dog wasn’t fixed when I agreed to rescue her and I didn’t have $50-$100 just sitting around waiting for something to spend it on.  Keep the judgy to yourselves.

I figured I could just keep her in the backyard until I could afford the vet. Frankly, I had some human medical issues – like my hemochromatosis, hormones and family dentist visits – I wanted to take priority.

Then this morning I found the neighbor’s dog in my yard and Lily, my tiny little dog comparitavely was hiding from them in the front yard. Guess I have to move her vet visit up ASAP if she’s going to get unauthorized visits from the new neighbors.

I’m like Kate – what was I thinking saying Yes to a dog?

I hope it’s not too late – the last thing I need is for my one dog to morph into 6.

Post from: Blisstree

Kate Gosselin Got Dogs!

Visit MSNBC.com to see Nadia Suleman, the mother who gave birth to Octuplets this month.

Nadya, mother of 14 children, the last litter being Octuplets, says she wanted a very large family after being an only child. (Note to my friend Rebecca – let this be a lesson to you – have two to prevent your child from longing for 14.)

There were a few odd questions in the Interview. Do you have the right to have 14 children?

Last I heard, we lived in American and we’re allowed to have as many or as few children as we like.

She isn’t on welfare so just shut up about her “right to have children she can’t afford.” (If she were to go on welfare – so is half the country due to the current unemployment crisis so get over it.) This is America – we ALL “have children we can’t afford.” Gimme a break already. We can’t “afford” either one of ours save for the fact that we seem to manage feeding and clothing them and sending them to school and taking them to the Dr. every now and then.

This woman reminds me of Angelina Jolie quite a lot actually. I think it’s the lips, cheeks, hair. And the love of babies born of childhood and adolescent pain and loneliness. It’s a shame her dream doesn’t come with Brad Pitt or Jon Gosselin, or another hot, dedicated father who loves the large family equally.

Her fertility logic – that she wanted to use up the embryos before she quit so they wouldn’t be destroyed or stay frozen – makes sense. I’ve always wondered why people who oppose stem cell research are fine with in-vitro and then throwing away embryos. It has always seemed a contradiction in values to me. There’s a certain logic in resolving the conflict by having them implanted “knowing” that they won’t all make it.

I mean, obviously she was thinking the doctor would implant 6 and 3,4,5 would not survive and she’d increase her family by 1,2, or 3. The odds of the implantation resulting in two split eggs and all the others surviving are less than 1 in a kajillion.

Has to be an Act of God, you just can’t plan this kind of science. One million rich families could try to make this happen and it wouldn’t.

But, who can blame Nadya’s mother for leaving? Her poor mother only wanted one child so that’s what she had. Now she’s been raising 6 children and her crazy single daughter is bringing home 8 tiny babies. Tiny babies are cute an all but they pretty much equal hard labor.

Welcome to the new profession of Celebrity Motherhood Nadya. I wonder if its queens Kate Gosselin and/or Mommy Duggar sent gift baskets or email tips on how to negotiate with PR people and the media? I’m sure she could use the pointers.

Post from: Blisstree

Celebrity Motherhood – Octopulets Mom Joins Ranks

Happily Ever After was a damn lie. No one rides off into the sunset. The days are not all rosy and loving and no one is spending hours every day lying in bed telling each other how wonderful the other is. It’s just not the reality of marriage.

The reality is this:

Half (50%) of Americans get divorced.

Statistically, it’s probably accurate to assume that ALL married people find marriage challenging and MOST married people are sometimes unhappy in their marriage and EVERY married person sometimes does something imperfect.

In fact, the state of marriage is in such trouble that the federal government is now trying to help people stay married by providing marriage education courses free of charge regardless of income. You know if anti-welfare George W. Bush is providing free social services to try to help people avoid divorce - marriage is having some serious problems.

 All the romantic movies and fairy tales and expectations were simply a load of crap. 

Marriage is this: very hard work.

If you consider staying miserably married a failure in itself, and I do, then way more than the majority of us are failing at it.

Jon & Kate’s marriage is a resounding success (statistically they’ve beaten the average divorce rate of multiples parents, which is two or three times higher than for parents of single children) and it’s a shame that anyone’s marriage would be so highly criticized. Holding on to our absurd fairy-tale ideals about what marriage should be like isn’t going to help anyone’s marriage.

Pretending that marriage is as easy as happily ever after never helps anyone’s children grow up to be good at the difficult job of being a spouse. It is better that their 8 children are exposed to the reality of the hard work, conflict and conflict-resolution that goes into a marriage, so they will have a clearer understanding of marriage before they do it expecting happily ever after.

What criticism of their marriage does is dismiss all the hard work and trial and error that a successful marriage, like Jon & Kate’s, involves.

You know what I think? I think if you’re critical of other people’s marriage – well, you’re probably critical of your own spouse. And criticism is a sure marriage killer.

Post from: Blisstree

J&K+8 = Marriage Reality

TLC, if you’re listening, here’s the episode I want to see:

I want to see the viewers who are critical of Kate’s mothering of twins and sextuplets be the nanny for a few days!

Wouldn’t that be good, wholesome, karmic fun?

You think it’s so easy? We’ll see how YOU do with every eye in America watching you babysit 8 kids under 7.

I want to see Kate behind that little monitor she was using to watch the nanny interview criticizing every breath, move, utterance and step.

Yeah, that would be really fun for me. That would get great ratings too, I’m sure.

Post from: Blisstree

Perfect Jon & Kate Episode