For example, a request for space might mean just that – give your partner some space. No one wants to feel pressured or crowded. Back off, let your loved one miss you a little (this is advice that I give to my daughter’s boyfriend all the time.) 

Backing off can work two-fold. First, your partner gets the breathing room they have requested. Two, you can focus on what you want again. Sometimes we get so locked into the pursuit aspect that we lose perspective. Maybe the relationship isn’t going in the right direction for you, either.

If someone says that they will call you later, well they may be busy and unable to talk. Again, I suggest backing off. People are busy. It’s not all about you.

If your partner is comparing you to someone else or calling your bad names, then he/she is just rude. I say it might be time to move on. Or call them on it. Say, “That is hurtful.” You don’t have to put up with abuse. That’s not part of a healthy relationship.

Silence is not good. As my friend, Scarlet, told me during my last relationship, “No answer is your answer.”  I think she was quoting, He’s Just Not That Into You. She was correct. He was a two-timing jerk and I’ve happily moved on. 

My point is this – don’t make assumptions, don’t expect the worst. These are stressful times we are living in and everyone can use a breather now and again.

Image credit: Michelle Smith

Post from: Blisstree

Breaking Up Is Not Inevitable

Divorced Guys: 8 Dating Rules

• Rule #1: Women want to be listened to and heard.
• Rule #2: Women expect some level of chivalry, even in our modern world.
• Rule #3: Women want compatibility, so emphasize your common ground early in the relationship.
• Rule #4: Don’t rush the physical side of the relationship.
• Rule #5: Women don’t want to hear about your ex, at least not right away.
• Rule #6: Look the part.
• Rule #7: Women are listeners, not fixers, and want their men to be the same.
• Rule #8: Women want to know if you’re NOT interested in seeing her again.

I agree with all of the rules, but some things, like men being “fixers,” that’s their nature. At some point, we’ve got to let men be men. If a guy is giving you unsolicited advice, he’s trying to be useful or helpful. Just smile politely, nod your head, and hear him out. He might have something good and if he doesn’t, so what. It doesn’t hurt to listen.

On the subject of letting a woman know when a man is not interested, well that’s never going to be a comfortable situation.  I agree that it’s polite to let someone know – nobody likes to wait and wonder – but do it gently. I went on a walking date with a guy and I thought he seemed okay, I could picture myself kissing him at some point in the future (my personal attraction measurement).  We said goodbye and then later he sent me an email saying that he enjoyed our walk, but he felt we were not a good match. He rejected me, but he didn’t embarrass me by saying to my face, hey I’m really not attracted to you. I felt that his no thank you email was a gentle approach.

I think both sexes need to avoid the ex-talk as much as possible. If you can’t stop talking about an ex, then you head is most likely full of thoughts about that person, and you probably aren’t ready to begin dating someone new. Give yourself some time to get it right and you will be doing you both a favor.

Post from: Blisstree

Dating Advice For the Divorced Man