I had a good 4th of July holiday. I enjoyed my family and my friends stopped by for a visit in the evening, but I could not help wishing for a different sort of day next year. I’d like someone to plan with and shop with and cook with. I’d like my man with me when we are sitting on the patio, laughing with our friends. I want a family that includes a partner.

I’ve spent almost the entirety of my adult life single. I liked being single, appreciated the simplicity of it, the lack of hassle, the independence, but after a few years of that I decided that I was ready for something more. I began dating and was involved in first one, then this long distance relationship. Today, I am feeling a bit lonely and discouraged. How long does it have to be this way?  How long until we have even a short visit together again?  It bothers me that I feel uncomfortable asking those sort of questions.  Communication is important.

When I get like this, and I do get like this sometimes, I’m only human, I try to think of the long term goals that I have for my relationship. I try to remember that the absence won’t last forever, that it will be worth it when we are together again, but it’s hard to think that way when those ideas are abstract, when there’s no plan in place.  I don’t operate well with a completely open-ended future. I’m the kind of person who needs to work toward a goal. My life is full of a lot of uncertainty and I need some things to be constant or safe. This is one of those things.  

I think it’s time to concentrate on the things that I can control. I need to get my home better organized, work on my budget. Bay needs to practice driving and Sarah is teaching me the guitar. Max has some medical appointments and that requires my complete attention.

Hopefully the relationship stuff will fall into place. I know that my boyfriend cares for me. I will do my best to be more patient. 

And my next post will be more peppy. I promise.

Image credit: Michelle Smith

Post from: Blisstree

Absence Makes the Heart Grow… Lonely

This is the part that is hard in a long distance relationship – the inevitable disconnect or distance. You get over the initial rush and the reality of loving someone who lives halfway across the country sets in. This is the part that sucks.

I try to keep my eye on the prize – The Rest of Our Lives – but it’s hard sometimes. I try not to say, “I miss you,” or “I wish…” too much. I don’t want to push either of us. This is going to take some time.

I look at other couples doing their thing, going about their day – shopping at the market, swimming with their kids at the pool, walking together to get the mail. Normal everyday things. That’s what I want. The normal everyday couple stuff.  I want us to be a family.

Tonight, I said that someday Friday can be Date Night for us. He agreed that sounded good. Every once in awhile I have to shake off the stress of the impatience. I have to take a deep breath. I have to hunker down and find a new comfortable place to resume the wait. That normal couple stuff, it’ll happen. Maybe not as quickly as we’d like, but it’ll happen.

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In other news, Greg and Bay are working things out. Yay!! 

Image credit: Michelle Smith

Post from: Blisstree

Hunkering Down

“It’s everywhere — everyone is texting, everyone e-mailing and it just seems to be a diffused focus on dating these days,” said Christie Nightingale, a relationship expert.

Nightingale is a matchmaker with a D.C. dating service. She calls it an “electronic epidemic” and says it’s causing clients to give up courting. She believes the back and forth texts or e-mails can cause a would-be couple to crash.

“Seems to be prolonging the process of connecting and meeting one another to establish a relationship,” noted Nightingale.

My boyfriend and I text a lot.  A lot. I like that it keeps us connected throughout the day even though we live so far apart (I’m in California and he is in Colorado), but sometimes it leads to communication problems.

You can’t see the person that you are texting with. Without looking the other person in the face, there are  no clues to mood or attitude, so it’s easy to misunderstand intent.  We’ve both seen something innocent blow up a bit. Very not fun. I prefer to talk on the phone, but even that can be tricky. (I do love his voice).

I agree that it’s best to spend time talking in person, but with my guy halfway across the country, I do what I have to do. (Until today. Woot! I get to see my boyfriend today!)

Image credit: Michelle Smith

Post from: Blisstree

The Electronic Epidemic